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Today, while taking a break from studying for my Latin exam tomorrow (Latin is pure beauty, btw, I'm in love), I buried myself again in a bunch of books about the English Reformation, which is pretty much the only thing I read about at the moment. So, stalking our dearest Thomas Cromwell (what is it with me and intelligent, efficient statesmen who die too early?), I found a hilarious quote concerning the many accusations made against Cromwell before his execution, many of which were very creative and completely absurd.
"The methods of his accusers are best illustrated by their initial search for someone who would swear that in 1538 Cromwell had announced he would make himself King and marry the Princess Mary."
WHUT? I want crack!fic! I want completely absurd, unrealistic, nutcase crack!fic. I want a mind-breakingly silly scheme in which Cromwell somehow forces Mary to marry him and somehow manages to make himself king without causing an immediate revolution and getting his head chopped off by the nobility. I want King Thomas! I want Cranmer to call him "Your Majesty" in bed. I want Cromwell to put Mary away somewhere and give her a smouldering Spanish boytoy to keep her busy. I want absurd plans and treaties to avoid a war with other outraged monarchs. I want bitching, but completely inefficient Lords. I want CRACK!!!
(Before anyone reminds me of the absurdity of all this ... let me emphasise again that I'm talking about ridiculous CRACK, not serious fic.)
No, really, this would be so much fun to write. Unfortunately I fail at writing crack/humour/parody, it just never turns out funny. And I'm still trying to wrap my mind enough around reformation theology to feel comfortable enough to write Cranmer in character. I think I could get Cromwell right, but Cranmer is more difficult, at least if I want serious fic and not crack. (Because The Tudors made me ship Cromwell/Cranmer like burning, and doing some research about them only makes me want it more. They were so in love. Historical slash ftw. :D)
More hilariousness coming from Cromwell's opponents:
"Finally, someone was found to swear that on 31 March 1539, he [Cromwell] had said in the parish of St. Peter the Poor that the teaching of Barnes and other heretics was good and that, even if the King would turn from it, he himself would not, but would fight in the field sword-in-hand against the King and all others. Bishop Burnet later remarked with justice that had Cromwell really uttered such sentiments, Bedlam would have been a fitter place for his restraint than the Tower."
Poor Cromwell. I like him so much. Why do historical figures I like always die for the most stupid reasons?
*runs back to the beauty that is Latin grammar*
All quotes taken from Thomas Cromwell and the English Reformation, by A.G.Dickens. Nice read, with the distinct disadvantage of not having proper footnotes/references. I hate that, always makes me feel like I can't trust an author.
"The methods of his accusers are best illustrated by their initial search for someone who would swear that in 1538 Cromwell had announced he would make himself King and marry the Princess Mary."
WHUT? I want crack!fic! I want completely absurd, unrealistic, nutcase crack!fic. I want a mind-breakingly silly scheme in which Cromwell somehow forces Mary to marry him and somehow manages to make himself king without causing an immediate revolution and getting his head chopped off by the nobility. I want King Thomas! I want Cranmer to call him "Your Majesty" in bed. I want Cromwell to put Mary away somewhere and give her a smouldering Spanish boytoy to keep her busy. I want absurd plans and treaties to avoid a war with other outraged monarchs. I want bitching, but completely inefficient Lords. I want CRACK!!!
(Before anyone reminds me of the absurdity of all this ... let me emphasise again that I'm talking about ridiculous CRACK, not serious fic.)
No, really, this would be so much fun to write. Unfortunately I fail at writing crack/humour/parody, it just never turns out funny. And I'm still trying to wrap my mind enough around reformation theology to feel comfortable enough to write Cranmer in character. I think I could get Cromwell right, but Cranmer is more difficult, at least if I want serious fic and not crack. (Because The Tudors made me ship Cromwell/Cranmer like burning, and doing some research about them only makes me want it more. They were so in love. Historical slash ftw. :D)
More hilariousness coming from Cromwell's opponents:
"Finally, someone was found to swear that on 31 March 1539, he [Cromwell] had said in the parish of St. Peter the Poor that the teaching of Barnes and other heretics was good and that, even if the King would turn from it, he himself would not, but would fight in the field sword-in-hand against the King and all others. Bishop Burnet later remarked with justice that had Cromwell really uttered such sentiments, Bedlam would have been a fitter place for his restraint than the Tower."
Poor Cromwell. I like him so much. Why do historical figures I like always die for the most stupid reasons?
*runs back to the beauty that is Latin grammar*
All quotes taken from Thomas Cromwell and the English Reformation, by A.G.Dickens. Nice read, with the distinct disadvantage of not having proper footnotes/references. I hate that, always makes me feel like I can't trust an author.
