I couldn't agree with you more. They're both equally narrow-minded and intolerant. Besides, promiscuity is just so much more fun. ;-)
And I have to say that it's that highmindedness that I happen to hate in het-fic-when the woman (or girl, as is more often the case) is the little innocent being seduced by the "raw sexual power" of the man. If I wanted that bullshit, I'd read some crappy bodice-ripper romance novel. For example, I can't stand all these Landa/OC hetfics where the OC is some girl around 20 - 21 who's "mysteriously attracted and yet repelled" by the Jew Hunter. I mean, please. /:-[