Heh, wow. Not completely unslashable indeed. Saw, read, enjoyed. I liked your characterizations in this, the transition from control to insanity in Zak is just noticeable enough. He's pretty spot on in my opinion, for what it's worth.
Entreri... was very good but I spotted a few points that were a bit inconsistent. Nothing major, just views that contradicted what was previously said / known. At the start you mentioned that Entreri had had dalliances with bar wenches, but a few chapters later he's stoutly gay. There are a few other minor moments, but they're not really popping in my head as important.
There was a minor mistake in names: in the beginning chapters you had written down "Rai-Guy" while in this one it's spelt "Rai-Gy." Just something you might want to check and change.
One thing that I really liked and laughed over was this: you made Drizzt so childish! When he was speaking with Zaknafein, he was fluctuating his emotions like a harpy, happy one moment and baring his teeth the next. Eyes wide and disbelieving. What took the cake though was the combination of his judgments of Entreri, spoken and unspoken, and his petty plots. It reminded me when he was using the mask to appear a light elf and was being stubborn and willful about it. Why shouldn't he use it! People don't judge him like this! It's that kind of thinking that you portrayed there, and, "sad" to say, is accurate of at least half his character.
But hah! I liked how Entreri pinned his reactions spot on. That Drizzt would badmouth Entreri and speak of his "experiences" with the vile assassin. And there was Zaknafein, listening to his son ramble like a surface dweller, not understanding half the things he spoke of because their lines of thinking are so perpendicular.
Idle question: are you going to at all use the short "That Curious Sword"? Granted, Passage to Dawn takes place 1364 and "That Curious Sword" takes place in 1367, but still. (Actually, that timeline is very screwy. It says that Seige of Darkness takes place in 1358...)
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2009-08-01 06:06 am (UTC)Entreri... was very good but I spotted a few points that were a bit inconsistent. Nothing major, just views that contradicted what was previously said / known. At the start you mentioned that Entreri had had dalliances with bar wenches, but a few chapters later he's stoutly gay. There are a few other minor moments, but they're not really popping in my head as important.
There was a minor mistake in names: in the beginning chapters you had written down "Rai-Guy" while in this one it's spelt "Rai-Gy." Just something you might want to check and change.
One thing that I really liked and laughed over was this: you made Drizzt so childish! When he was speaking with Zaknafein, he was fluctuating his emotions like a harpy, happy one moment and baring his teeth the next. Eyes wide and disbelieving. What took the cake though was the combination of his judgments of Entreri, spoken and unspoken, and his petty plots. It reminded me when he was using the mask to appear a light elf and was being stubborn and willful about it. Why shouldn't he use it! People don't judge him like this! It's that kind of thinking that you portrayed there, and, "sad" to say, is accurate of at least half his character.
But hah! I liked how Entreri pinned his reactions spot on. That Drizzt would badmouth Entreri and speak of his "experiences" with the vile assassin. And there was Zaknafein, listening to his son ramble like a surface dweller, not understanding half the things he spoke of because their lines of thinking are so perpendicular.
Idle question: are you going to at all use the short "That Curious Sword"? Granted, Passage to Dawn takes place 1364 and "That Curious Sword" takes place in 1367, but still. (Actually, that timeline is very screwy. It says that Seige of Darkness takes place in 1358...)