linndechir ([personal profile] linndechir) wrote2009-08-19 03:35 pm

FIC: A Substitute for God 1/?

Title: A Substitute for God 1/?
Author:
[personal profile] linndechir 
Fandom: True Blood
Pairing: Godric/Eric
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1355
Summary: Eric’s tears inspire doubts in Godric.
Author’s Note: Inspired by the huge loophole in canon, and by Eric’s weird little smile. This is how the episode should have ended, imo. I suppose this can be read as a one-shot, but I do intend to continue it. We need to make Godric happy again, after all.


Godric had made Eric. He had hardly left his side for centuries. He had shared every experience, every thought, every feeling with him. He had seen every single emotion on Eric’s face. He thought he knew everything about him.

But in the pale light of the coming dawn, after one thousand shared years, Eric surprised him. In those thousand years Godric had never seen Eric cry.

He had expected the anger, the yelling, the threats. He also had expected Eric to implore him not to do it once he had realised that his anger would achieve nothing.

Godric’s decision was made, it was final. He had drifted towards this moment for the past hundred years. He had prepared himself for death, he had wanted it, welcomed it. No amount of yelling, no argument could make him doubt this decision. Godric felt sorry for his child, but he knew there was nothing he could do for him anymore.

And then Eric did the unexpected. For the first time in a thousand years, he fell to his knees, sobbing and crying like a frightened child. His tears did what neither reason nor anger could have achieved: they planted a seed of doubt in Godric.

He had been convinced that he had lost Eric, a century ago, when they had slowly started to drift apart. When Godric had started to question the value of their immortal existence, while Eric continued to wallow in his maker’s teachings of pleasure and desire. Godric had ended up hating himself for turning Eric into this blood-thirsty fiend, for destroying his humanity, for destroying the man he loved.

Eric had been his last tie to a life he had come to despise. And when Eric had left him, believing that his maker did not want him anymore, death had become more and more appealing.

Godric hadn’t expected to realise that Eric‘s feelings had neither changed nor weakened. He had misinterpreted his loyalty as a vampire’s allegiance to his maker, as a predator’s hope to bring his favourite hunting companion back to his side.

Until now, he had not understood that it had been the desperate, passionate love of one man to another, a love that had nothing to do with blood ties and vampire rules, but only with centuries of faith and love. And while he had never doubted that Eric did love him, in his own way, he had underestimated just how strong that love was.

His mild surprise turned into shock when Eric spoke again.

Eric, his Eric, who loved life more than anything else, was determined to die with him. He would sacrifice what had always been dearest to him rather than lose his maker.

Eric, who loved one thing more than life itself - the man who had given it to him.

Despite his quick response, Godric felt his resolve weakening. Eric’s hair under his fingers, his broken voice, his strong body shaking with sobs, his red-rimmed eyes filled with unspeakable despair. With more pain that Godric could stand to see on his child’s face. Memories and feelings started to stir in his jaded, numb mind, threatening to overpower him. He had to get Eric away from here. He couldn’t let him die, not like this. He would not allow Eric to sacrifice himself.

“As your maker, I command you.”

Words he hadn’t spoken in centuries. Words he had been loathe to utter even when Eric had been a newly made vampire. Words that were his only hope now. One more “please” from Eric’s lips, and he would give in.

A smile touched Godric’s lips when understanding lit Eric’s eyes, understanding that his efforts had been in vain. Eric moved to rise, and the former feeling of peace and relief started to return to Godric, although somehow tainted, like foul blood on his tongue. But it didn’t matter as long as Eric would be safe.

The sun wasn’t up in the sky yet, but the first rays cast a greenish light on Eric’s face. His eyes were wide open. An eyebrow twitched upwards, and then there was the hint of a crooked smile. An accepting, knowing smile.

Godric frowned. Eric would never accept this; even as he had to leave, he would either cry or yell. He wouldn’t smile. A wave of apprehension filled him when Eric slowly rose to his full height, towering over Godric, strangely determined eyes fixed on him.

“You cannot command me anymore once you are gone,” Eric said. His voice was still shaky, but filled with the same resolve as when he had promised that he wouldn’t let Godric die alone. “You can force me to seek shelter tonight. But I swear to you, tomorrow, when you’re gone and your words don’t bind me anymore … I will join you.”

He hardly tried to fight the force of his maker’s order, taking one slow step backwards after the other, but his eyes never left Godric.

And the calm determination on Godric’s face finally wavered. He stretched out his hand, an instinctive gesture to hold him back. Pleading, just like Eric had pleaded.

“Eric, no,” he said, and his voice cracked. He took a deep, unneeded breath. “There comes a time for every son to let go of his father.”

“No son stands by and watches his father die when he can save him. No brother turns away from his sibling. No father abandons his child.” Eric was had almost reached the stairs now, but he was still staring at Godric. “You made me your companion for eternity, you promised to walk through the nights with me until the end of the world. Without you, I neither deserve nor want this life.”

Godric had no answer, no way out. Two thousand years had not prepared him for this. After decades of emptiness he was overwhelmed by pain, fear, and most of all surprise. Surprise that despite their century-long separation Eric was willing to give up the gift he had cherished for a millennium.

“Eric,” Godric said again, weakly. He shook his head, a silent plea not to be cruel, but deep down he knew that it was in vain. Nobody could deter Eric when he had set his mind on something. His maker’s orders could make the path more difficult, but even they could not keep him from reaching his goal.

The sun was slowly creeping up into the sky, the warmth was starting to singe him, and thin smoke rose from Eric’s shoulders when he went down the first steps of the stairs.

“Follow me now, Godric, or I will follow you tomorrow.”

Eric’s voice sounded strangely calm now, as if all of Godric’s inner peace and determination had suddenly been passed on to his child. And yet, there was still pain in his eyes, fear that Godric’s death wish was stronger than their bond. Tears continued to flow freely over the face that had accompanied Godric for almost half his existence.

He could feel the sun rising behind him, calling to him. He wanted to meet the sunrays. He wanted to burn. He wanted to face the punishment he deserved for his sins. He wanted to know if God was so merciful that He could even forgive a vampire.

Eric had gone down the stairs and disappeared inside, but Godric couldn‘t forget the look on his face. He knew that even if lived for another two thousand years, he would always remember Eric’s eyes in this moment. He would never forget what he had seen underneath the pain and the anger and the fear.

A love that was so much part of him that Eric could not live without it, whether he wanted to or not.

Godric could turn his back on the sun, on his hope for redemption and peace. He could not turn his back on the child who needed him. Eric was selfish to keep him alive against his will, but Godric realised only now that his death wish was just as selfish.

He had sworn never to be selfish again. When the sun rose, the roof was deserted.



to be continued




[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
True. Eric would never give up on Godric. Yay for our stubborn Viking. :D

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Let's just wish canon away. ^^ Thank you so much for commenting.

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 12:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Aaaaw, don't cry. I promise everything will be all right. Godric and Eric will be happy together forever and ever.
I'm so glad to hear you liked this. More will come, and it will get fluffier and fluffier with every chapter. The final chapter will be so fluffy it will blow out your brains. ;) Something like that.
Thank you for your review. *hug*

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 12:48 pm (UTC)(link)
So do I. I am very good at denying that canon ever happened. ;) Thank you so much. :D

[identity profile] beccers4469.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 01:06 pm (UTC)(link)
*nods*

:D

[identity profile] mneiai.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
*snicker* I'd totally use that icon.

I felt it was kind of telling about their relationship that Eric did let Godric go without too much of a fight. Like maybe as much as Eric didn't want to, he understood on some level.

I think most people agree with you on the Godric POV, we don't see a lot of it being written. We didn't really see much of him, either, and in very limited ways, so that adds to the difficulty, I think. Maybe if we *crosses fingers* get more flashbacks, it will become a bit easier.

[identity profile] srmarybadass.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 01:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Actually, my thought for that little smile was that the phrase "As your maker, I command you" had become like an in-joke of theirs. Because really, after the first couple centuries, does it really MATTER?

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Mhm, yes, maybe, the in-joke idea makes sense. Can has fic? ;) I thought it looked like Eric was thinking, "Gotcha, my love, I found the loophole." That's why I had to write this fic. ^^

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 02:10 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm fairly sure that Eric understood, but I still don't think he wouldn't have let him go, no matter what their relationship is/was like. Eric isn't selfless, never. He would understand, he would disagree, and he would go out of his way to manipulate Godric back into loving life. And he'd succeed. that's why I'm so angry about canon - because I KNOW that Eric could have made Godric feel better again.

Oh please, more flashbacks would be so great. I'll just have to write more about Godric, then it will get easier for me. I love writing about minor characters, or other characters we don't know much about, and after a while you just develop your own fanon and things get a lot easier.

[identity profile] yourztruelyak.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 05:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I almost cried, so beautifully written, if only this was the real ending of last weeks episode!!!

Thanks for sharing! :)

[identity profile] evoe.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Hope you always do your healing this way *g*

[identity profile] aboutademongirl.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
*gasps* Thank you. Thank you so much for writing this. This is a gorgeous turn of events.

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 10:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much for commenting. :D

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-20 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
It is the real ending ... let's all ignore the weird AU they showed on TV. ;)

Thanks for reviewing. ^^ Glad you liked it.

[identity profile] mneiai.livejournal.com 2009-08-21 03:17 am (UTC)(link)
*nodnod* Canon didn't give Eric enough credit. Obviously they wanted Godric to die and were willing to make some people out of character to get there, which in its own way pisses me off just as much as killing Godric in the first place. Godric definitely could have survived, he could have found pleasure again in doing good things (he could have become a spokesperson for human/vampire peace, etc.), Eric would have certainly supported him (it would have been very interesting to see a subplot involving Eric and Godric reconciling the century they'd spent apart).

*nod* It is great to have the freedom to mess around with a character's history, to come up with fanon. And flashbacks more often than not screw people's fanons *grin* But I love seeing more, love working new information into things. And, hell, it's not like we're going to get GODRIC'S flashbacks, so his origin and whatnot is still open for anyone ^.^

[identity profile] zigsternenstaub.livejournal.com 2009-08-21 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
Awwww, no, they killed off the good character! They always do that, bastards. And of course loads of feedback is always the temptation of big fandoms. :D

Hmm, doesn't sound much like me. I'm not overprotective at all. In fact, I tend to be rather intense about relationships in the first month or two, then get bored and leave.

[identity profile] keenoled.livejournal.com 2009-08-21 09:29 am (UTC)(link)
I have reached the conclusion that the show tried to make the character of Godric a little more interesting than the books (so I may have downloaded the books to read the Godric bits. Don't ask), because (imho) the writer is pretty dispassionate in her writing and her portrayal of Godric.

So they tried to spice it up to get better TV. I think what they failed at noticing/reeling in is where Hyde and Skarsgård went with their respective characters. They both give the impression of going all out, Skarsgård even says in an interview how fascinated he is with the thousand year-old relationship.
So, what worked on paper, all of a sudden didn't work so well with the two actors who took it to another level of intensity. Skarsgård could have played the roof top scene in a respectful-to-his-maker kinda way, instead he has a voice that breaks with emotion, and his whole body language keeps swaying into Hyde. And fave Hyde-fail (win!) moment for me is when he talks with Sookie, apologizing for Eric being so set in getting his way, doing so with almost a giggle, like he thinks it's the funniest shit ever and is proud of having riled Eric up throughout the centuries.

Basically. It probably worked on paper. That's my theory. And then it didn't seem so plausible acted out in real life all of a sudden.
Which makes it okay for us to re-write it, mhm.

I too am an excellent rambler.

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-21 01:17 pm (UTC)(link)
That does make a lot of sense. This scene might have been more convincing if they had kept their relationship on a pure maker-child-level, with Eric respecting and admiring Godric, but on a more intellectual than emotional level. If Godric had "only" been his maker, a man he respects, whose decisions he respects whether he understands them or not, he might have let him go, thinking that Godric was doing what he thought he had to do. But the moment both actors turned it into a much more intense relationship, into Eric loving Godric with an unveiled passion and devotion, the script stopped making sense. Because you don't turn around and let the love of your life die, even if he wants to. So of course we have to rewrite it. Nobody can blame us after the slashy character interpretation the actors gave us.

Let's just ramble together then. ;)

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-21 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
My favourite characters always get killed. *sigh* It's a miracle Artemis is still alive ... but then again, he's so OOC in the latest novels he's not Artemis anymore. And it's the temptation of big fandoms and, even more, of canon pairings. ;)

Nope, that doesn't sound much like Bill. But like I said, the test results don't make much sense to me at all.

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-21 01:36 pm (UTC)(link)
True. I think they felt like they had to kill off Godric because they couldn't keep him around. Eric would have lost his function in the series as the powerful, manipulative vampire if Godric was around and Eric spent half his time on his knees. But still, while I understand that they couldn't make Godric a regular character, I had hoped that he would survive and stay in Dallas while Eric returns home, and Godric would just have a few guest appearances later. But even then, they would have had to make the Godric storyline very important for the rest of the season and probably even in season three, and maybe they felt like that would distract people from what they consider more important in the show (Sookie and what happens around her).

I agree, it would have been amazing to see some reconciliation between Eric and Godric. I also would have loved to see how Eric would deal with the "new" Godric who's advocating a peaceful coexistence between humans and vampires. Eric disagrees with most of Godric's new opinions, but he still would have supported Godric as much as he could. It might have made for some interesting conflicts.

Of course flashbacks would screw up our fanon, but it would still be great, if only to see more of Hyde's amazing acting skills. You know what I want? I want a new show about Eric and Godric, a bit like Angel from Buffy got his own show. I think Eric and Godric deserve their own show as well. ^^

[identity profile] mneiai.livejournal.com 2009-08-21 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I think they could have easily either had Godric stay in Dallas as sheriff, had him go off and do some sort of media thing as pacifist!vampire!guy, or even had him run off and not tell anyone where he was going, just go somewhere where no one would recognize him and try to be a better vampire.

Expanding the Godric storyline would have probably been a lot less annoying to people than this overdone Marianne storyline. I know tons of people who watch True Blood and I think maybe only one of them isn't bored and/or annoyed with that one. And Sookie hasn't been a major part of the Marianne storyline, Tara has, so I think they could have worked in Eric having the main part in the Godric storyline, especially if they, say, explored the blood bond with Sookie more and Sookie was still seeing Godric as some big woobie.

It would have been really interesting to see Eric trying to deal--we'd probably get to see him in the position of a child who thinks their parents are incredibly misinformed, but is trying to be polite about it haha It would also probably cause him to have momentary doubts, would would be cool little crises of character to see him go through.

Haha, hey, Spike came back, why not Godric?! I want that, I want flashbacks, I want hallucinations, I want an evil character taking Godric's form to mess with Eric, I want a human that looks just like Godric popping up, I don't care how cliche or stupid it gets, I just really want more Allan Hyde, too.

[identity profile] zigsternenstaub.livejournal.com 2009-08-21 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes, poor Artemis. Once again makes me quite glad that Zak is dead. RAS did enough damage with that saintly ghost scene in Passage to Dawn. I remember being devastated when that book first came out that it wasn't Zak who was resurrected, but years later I am dizzy with relief!

Well, some of the other characteristics are accurate. I am quite frequently scrupulously polite. So I suppose it just assigned the person who was closest to me in mannerisms. All these tests can really do, after all.

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-23 01:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much for your comment. :D I'm glad you liked the story so far. And of course Eric and Godric will get more love. ^^

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-23 01:34 pm (UTC)(link)
So true. I hope RAS never writes a Jarlaxle&Zaknafein-prequel. He'd probably make Zak as annoying and emo as Drizzt, and give him some stupid tragic love story or something. Iek.

Of course. And I guess you could have ended up with somebody worse. ;)

[identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com 2009-08-23 01:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Exactly; if they had tried, they would have found a way to keep Godric alive without screwing up the power balance in the whole show. Just to keep the possibility of having him come back later. And you're right, it would have been less annoying than the whole Marianne storyline. I can't understand why they didn't realise when they were working on season 2 that people would love Godric. I mean, it was so obvious that he would have lots of fans. How could they be so blind and ignore that? Godric is pretty much the best thing that has happened to this show so far, and they just throw the opportunity away. Gnaa!

I like that comparison. ;) Eric would probably doubt at times, but most of the time he'd just try to get the old Godric back, while still being very respectful and supportive all the time. It would have been so much fun, and it would have been a great opportunity for more Eric character development.

Yeeees, I can only hope that they will come up with some way to bring Godric back, even if it's completely absurd. But you don't put a cool character like that, played by such an amazing actor, on a show, and then get rid of him after four episodes and move on as if nothing had happened.

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