FIC: A Substitute for God 1/?
Aug. 19th, 2009 03:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
linndechirTitle: A Substitute for God 1/?
Author:linndechir
Fandom: True Blood
Pairing: Godric/Eric
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1355
Summary: Eric’s tears inspire doubts in Godric.
Author’s Note: Inspired by the huge loophole in canon, and by Eric’s weird little smile. This is how the episode should have ended, imo. I suppose this can be read as a one-shot, but I do intend to continue it. We need to make Godric happy again, after all.
Godric had made Eric. He had hardly left his side for centuries. He had shared every experience, every thought, every feeling with him. He had seen every single emotion on Eric’s face. He thought he knew everything about him.
But in the pale light of the coming dawn, after one thousand shared years, Eric surprised him. In those thousand years Godric had never seen Eric cry.
He had expected the anger, the yelling, the threats. He also had expected Eric to implore him not to do it once he had realised that his anger would achieve nothing.
Godric’s decision was made, it was final. He had drifted towards this moment for the past hundred years. He had prepared himself for death, he had wanted it, welcomed it. No amount of yelling, no argument could make him doubt this decision. Godric felt sorry for his child, but he knew there was nothing he could do for him anymore.
And then Eric did the unexpected. For the first time in a thousand years, he fell to his knees, sobbing and crying like a frightened child. His tears did what neither reason nor anger could have achieved: they planted a seed of doubt in Godric.
He had been convinced that he had lost Eric, a century ago, when they had slowly started to drift apart. When Godric had started to question the value of their immortal existence, while Eric continued to wallow in his maker’s teachings of pleasure and desire. Godric had ended up hating himself for turning Eric into this blood-thirsty fiend, for destroying his humanity, for destroying the man he loved.
Eric had been his last tie to a life he had come to despise. And when Eric had left him, believing that his maker did not want him anymore, death had become more and more appealing.
Godric hadn’t expected to realise that Eric‘s feelings had neither changed nor weakened. He had misinterpreted his loyalty as a vampire’s allegiance to his maker, as a predator’s hope to bring his favourite hunting companion back to his side.
Until now, he had not understood that it had been the desperate, passionate love of one man to another, a love that had nothing to do with blood ties and vampire rules, but only with centuries of faith and love. And while he had never doubted that Eric did love him, in his own way, he had underestimated just how strong that love was.
His mild surprise turned into shock when Eric spoke again.
Eric, his Eric, who loved life more than anything else, was determined to die with him. He would sacrifice what had always been dearest to him rather than lose his maker.
Eric, who loved one thing more than life itself - the man who had given it to him.
Despite his quick response, Godric felt his resolve weakening. Eric’s hair under his fingers, his broken voice, his strong body shaking with sobs, his red-rimmed eyes filled with unspeakable despair. With more pain that Godric could stand to see on his child’s face. Memories and feelings started to stir in his jaded, numb mind, threatening to overpower him. He had to get Eric away from here. He couldn’t let him die, not like this. He would not allow Eric to sacrifice himself.
“As your maker, I command you.”
Words he hadn’t spoken in centuries. Words he had been loathe to utter even when Eric had been a newly made vampire. Words that were his only hope now. One more “please” from Eric’s lips, and he would give in.
A smile touched Godric’s lips when understanding lit Eric’s eyes, understanding that his efforts had been in vain. Eric moved to rise, and the former feeling of peace and relief started to return to Godric, although somehow tainted, like foul blood on his tongue. But it didn’t matter as long as Eric would be safe.
The sun wasn’t up in the sky yet, but the first rays cast a greenish light on Eric’s face. His eyes were wide open. An eyebrow twitched upwards, and then there was the hint of a crooked smile. An accepting, knowing smile.
Godric frowned. Eric would never accept this; even as he had to leave, he would either cry or yell. He wouldn’t smile. A wave of apprehension filled him when Eric slowly rose to his full height, towering over Godric, strangely determined eyes fixed on him.
“You cannot command me anymore once you are gone,” Eric said. His voice was still shaky, but filled with the same resolve as when he had promised that he wouldn’t let Godric die alone. “You can force me to seek shelter tonight. But I swear to you, tomorrow, when you’re gone and your words don’t bind me anymore … I will join you.”
He hardly tried to fight the force of his maker’s order, taking one slow step backwards after the other, but his eyes never left Godric.
And the calm determination on Godric’s face finally wavered. He stretched out his hand, an instinctive gesture to hold him back. Pleading, just like Eric had pleaded.
“Eric, no,” he said, and his voice cracked. He took a deep, unneeded breath. “There comes a time for every son to let go of his father.”
“No son stands by and watches his father die when he can save him. No brother turns away from his sibling. No father abandons his child.” Eric was had almost reached the stairs now, but he was still staring at Godric. “You made me your companion for eternity, you promised to walk through the nights with me until the end of the world. Without you, I neither deserve nor want this life.”
Godric had no answer, no way out. Two thousand years had not prepared him for this. After decades of emptiness he was overwhelmed by pain, fear, and most of all surprise. Surprise that despite their century-long separation Eric was willing to give up the gift he had cherished for a millennium.
“Eric,” Godric said again, weakly. He shook his head, a silent plea not to be cruel, but deep down he knew that it was in vain. Nobody could deter Eric when he had set his mind on something. His maker’s orders could make the path more difficult, but even they could not keep him from reaching his goal.
The sun was slowly creeping up into the sky, the warmth was starting to singe him, and thin smoke rose from Eric’s shoulders when he went down the first steps of the stairs.
“Follow me now, Godric, or I will follow you tomorrow.”
Eric’s voice sounded strangely calm now, as if all of Godric’s inner peace and determination had suddenly been passed on to his child. And yet, there was still pain in his eyes, fear that Godric’s death wish was stronger than their bond. Tears continued to flow freely over the face that had accompanied Godric for almost half his existence.
He could feel the sun rising behind him, calling to him. He wanted to meet the sunrays. He wanted to burn. He wanted to face the punishment he deserved for his sins. He wanted to know if God was so merciful that He could even forgive a vampire.
Eric had gone down the stairs and disappeared inside, but Godric couldn‘t forget the look on his face. He knew that even if lived for another two thousand years, he would always remember Eric’s eyes in this moment. He would never forget what he had seen underneath the pain and the anger and the fear.
A love that was so much part of him that Eric could not live without it, whether he wanted to or not.
Godric could turn his back on the sun, on his hope for redemption and peace. He could not turn his back on the child who needed him. Eric was selfish to keep him alive against his will, but Godric realised only now that his death wish was just as selfish.
He had sworn never to be selfish again. When the sun rose, the roof was deserted.
to be continued
Author:
linndechir Fandom: True Blood
Pairing: Godric/Eric
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1355
Summary: Eric’s tears inspire doubts in Godric.
Author’s Note: Inspired by the huge loophole in canon, and by Eric’s weird little smile. This is how the episode should have ended, imo. I suppose this can be read as a one-shot, but I do intend to continue it. We need to make Godric happy again, after all.
Godric had made Eric. He had hardly left his side for centuries. He had shared every experience, every thought, every feeling with him. He had seen every single emotion on Eric’s face. He thought he knew everything about him.
But in the pale light of the coming dawn, after one thousand shared years, Eric surprised him. In those thousand years Godric had never seen Eric cry.
He had expected the anger, the yelling, the threats. He also had expected Eric to implore him not to do it once he had realised that his anger would achieve nothing.
Godric’s decision was made, it was final. He had drifted towards this moment for the past hundred years. He had prepared himself for death, he had wanted it, welcomed it. No amount of yelling, no argument could make him doubt this decision. Godric felt sorry for his child, but he knew there was nothing he could do for him anymore.
And then Eric did the unexpected. For the first time in a thousand years, he fell to his knees, sobbing and crying like a frightened child. His tears did what neither reason nor anger could have achieved: they planted a seed of doubt in Godric.
He had been convinced that he had lost Eric, a century ago, when they had slowly started to drift apart. When Godric had started to question the value of their immortal existence, while Eric continued to wallow in his maker’s teachings of pleasure and desire. Godric had ended up hating himself for turning Eric into this blood-thirsty fiend, for destroying his humanity, for destroying the man he loved.
Eric had been his last tie to a life he had come to despise. And when Eric had left him, believing that his maker did not want him anymore, death had become more and more appealing.
Godric hadn’t expected to realise that Eric‘s feelings had neither changed nor weakened. He had misinterpreted his loyalty as a vampire’s allegiance to his maker, as a predator’s hope to bring his favourite hunting companion back to his side.
Until now, he had not understood that it had been the desperate, passionate love of one man to another, a love that had nothing to do with blood ties and vampire rules, but only with centuries of faith and love. And while he had never doubted that Eric did love him, in his own way, he had underestimated just how strong that love was.
His mild surprise turned into shock when Eric spoke again.
Eric, his Eric, who loved life more than anything else, was determined to die with him. He would sacrifice what had always been dearest to him rather than lose his maker.
Eric, who loved one thing more than life itself - the man who had given it to him.
Despite his quick response, Godric felt his resolve weakening. Eric’s hair under his fingers, his broken voice, his strong body shaking with sobs, his red-rimmed eyes filled with unspeakable despair. With more pain that Godric could stand to see on his child’s face. Memories and feelings started to stir in his jaded, numb mind, threatening to overpower him. He had to get Eric away from here. He couldn’t let him die, not like this. He would not allow Eric to sacrifice himself.
“As your maker, I command you.”
Words he hadn’t spoken in centuries. Words he had been loathe to utter even when Eric had been a newly made vampire. Words that were his only hope now. One more “please” from Eric’s lips, and he would give in.
A smile touched Godric’s lips when understanding lit Eric’s eyes, understanding that his efforts had been in vain. Eric moved to rise, and the former feeling of peace and relief started to return to Godric, although somehow tainted, like foul blood on his tongue. But it didn’t matter as long as Eric would be safe.
The sun wasn’t up in the sky yet, but the first rays cast a greenish light on Eric’s face. His eyes were wide open. An eyebrow twitched upwards, and then there was the hint of a crooked smile. An accepting, knowing smile.
Godric frowned. Eric would never accept this; even as he had to leave, he would either cry or yell. He wouldn’t smile. A wave of apprehension filled him when Eric slowly rose to his full height, towering over Godric, strangely determined eyes fixed on him.
“You cannot command me anymore once you are gone,” Eric said. His voice was still shaky, but filled with the same resolve as when he had promised that he wouldn’t let Godric die alone. “You can force me to seek shelter tonight. But I swear to you, tomorrow, when you’re gone and your words don’t bind me anymore … I will join you.”
He hardly tried to fight the force of his maker’s order, taking one slow step backwards after the other, but his eyes never left Godric.
And the calm determination on Godric’s face finally wavered. He stretched out his hand, an instinctive gesture to hold him back. Pleading, just like Eric had pleaded.
“Eric, no,” he said, and his voice cracked. He took a deep, unneeded breath. “There comes a time for every son to let go of his father.”
“No son stands by and watches his father die when he can save him. No brother turns away from his sibling. No father abandons his child.” Eric was had almost reached the stairs now, but he was still staring at Godric. “You made me your companion for eternity, you promised to walk through the nights with me until the end of the world. Without you, I neither deserve nor want this life.”
Godric had no answer, no way out. Two thousand years had not prepared him for this. After decades of emptiness he was overwhelmed by pain, fear, and most of all surprise. Surprise that despite their century-long separation Eric was willing to give up the gift he had cherished for a millennium.
“Eric,” Godric said again, weakly. He shook his head, a silent plea not to be cruel, but deep down he knew that it was in vain. Nobody could deter Eric when he had set his mind on something. His maker’s orders could make the path more difficult, but even they could not keep him from reaching his goal.
The sun was slowly creeping up into the sky, the warmth was starting to singe him, and thin smoke rose from Eric’s shoulders when he went down the first steps of the stairs.
“Follow me now, Godric, or I will follow you tomorrow.”
Eric’s voice sounded strangely calm now, as if all of Godric’s inner peace and determination had suddenly been passed on to his child. And yet, there was still pain in his eyes, fear that Godric’s death wish was stronger than their bond. Tears continued to flow freely over the face that had accompanied Godric for almost half his existence.
He could feel the sun rising behind him, calling to him. He wanted to meet the sunrays. He wanted to burn. He wanted to face the punishment he deserved for his sins. He wanted to know if God was so merciful that He could even forgive a vampire.
Eric had gone down the stairs and disappeared inside, but Godric couldn‘t forget the look on his face. He knew that even if lived for another two thousand years, he would always remember Eric’s eyes in this moment. He would never forget what he had seen underneath the pain and the anger and the fear.
A love that was so much part of him that Eric could not live without it, whether he wanted to or not.
Godric could turn his back on the sun, on his hope for redemption and peace. He could not turn his back on the child who needed him. Eric was selfish to keep him alive against his will, but Godric realised only now that his death wish was just as selfish.
He had sworn never to be selfish again. When the sun rose, the roof was deserted.
to be continued
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no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 01:50 pm (UTC)I felt it was kind of telling about their relationship that Eric did let Godric go without too much of a fight. Like maybe as much as Eric didn't want to, he understood on some level.
I think most people agree with you on the Godric POV, we don't see a lot of it being written. We didn't really see much of him, either, and in very limited ways, so that adds to the difficulty, I think. Maybe if we *crosses fingers* get more flashbacks, it will become a bit easier.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-20 02:10 pm (UTC)Oh please, more flashbacks would be so great. I'll just have to write more about Godric, then it will get easier for me. I love writing about minor characters, or other characters we don't know much about, and after a while you just develop your own fanon and things get a lot easier.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-21 03:17 am (UTC)*nod* It is great to have the freedom to mess around with a character's history, to come up with fanon. And flashbacks more often than not screw people's fanons *grin* But I love seeing more, love working new information into things. And, hell, it's not like we're going to get GODRIC'S flashbacks, so his origin and whatnot is still open for anyone ^.^
no subject
Date: 2009-08-21 01:36 pm (UTC)I agree, it would have been amazing to see some reconciliation between Eric and Godric. I also would have loved to see how Eric would deal with the "new" Godric who's advocating a peaceful coexistence between humans and vampires. Eric disagrees with most of Godric's new opinions, but he still would have supported Godric as much as he could. It might have made for some interesting conflicts.
Of course flashbacks would screw up our fanon, but it would still be great, if only to see more of Hyde's amazing acting skills. You know what I want? I want a new show about Eric and Godric, a bit like Angel from Buffy got his own show. I think Eric and Godric deserve their own show as well. ^^
no subject
Date: 2009-08-21 03:14 pm (UTC)Expanding the Godric storyline would have probably been a lot less annoying to people than this overdone Marianne storyline. I know tons of people who watch True Blood and I think maybe only one of them isn't bored and/or annoyed with that one. And Sookie hasn't been a major part of the Marianne storyline, Tara has, so I think they could have worked in Eric having the main part in the Godric storyline, especially if they, say, explored the blood bond with Sookie more and Sookie was still seeing Godric as some big woobie.
It would have been really interesting to see Eric trying to deal--we'd probably get to see him in the position of a child who thinks their parents are incredibly misinformed, but is trying to be polite about it haha It would also probably cause him to have momentary doubts, would would be cool little crises of character to see him go through.
Haha, hey, Spike came back, why not Godric?! I want that, I want flashbacks, I want hallucinations, I want an evil character taking Godric's form to mess with Eric, I want a human that looks just like Godric popping up, I don't care how cliche or stupid it gets, I just really want more Allan Hyde, too.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 01:45 pm (UTC)I like that comparison. ;) Eric would probably doubt at times, but most of the time he'd just try to get the old Godric back, while still being very respectful and supportive all the time. It would have been so much fun, and it would have been a great opportunity for more Eric character development.
Yeeees, I can only hope that they will come up with some way to bring Godric back, even if it's completely absurd. But you don't put a cool character like that, played by such an amazing actor, on a show, and then get rid of him after four episodes and move on as if nothing had happened.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-23 02:50 pm (UTC)And it would be very fun, seeing Eric trying to come up with new and improved ways of making Godric see the error in his philosophy!
The fact is, can anyone say something is "absurd" in this show? All the things we've had so far, all the things we're going to have, I think the writers really have to sit down and realize that the audience is already suspending their disbelief in a HUGE way and that we're more than willing to do it for even weirder and less likely things. If Sam can turn into a fly, then Godric can, I don't know, reform from his ashes. Maybe he's just too old to die, maybe his ashes fall into some shadows and someone is getting fed on in the alley and their blood falls on it and he starts to reform. IDK, it's all magic, anyway. Maybe if they do all that stuff with the evil witches they could bring him back and be using him as a source of vampire blood or something.
Or, I think it would be fun if he became a recurring character and every time Eric had a moral dilemma or something we got scenes like in BSG with Baltar and Six.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 02:53 am (UTC)Cute. Poor desperate Eric. But he'd manage, to a certain extent.
Especially since we're talking about vampires, who are pretty much indestructible. I mean, in many versions vampires can be brought back even if there's only ashes left. And if on top of it you have witches and everything around, it really shouldn't be too difficult to get Godric back. It can't get crappier than the whole Marianne thing.
But Eric doesn't have moral dilemmas. ;) Godric would appear and give Eric a moral dilemma. *grin*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 03:03 am (UTC)Even tv shows that aren't about the supernatural bring chars back from the dead!
Eh, he's connected to Sookie, now. And maybe he'll be rocking that amnesia thing in a few seasons. Ooh, he could have dreams/visions/flashbacks to Godric and not be able to understand them and get all woobie and confused 'cause he's amnesia!Eric.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 01:17 pm (UTC)Exactly. We should write a petition or something to demand Godric's return. ^^
Don't remind me ... Eric and Sookie shouldn't even be in the same room, let alone be connected. Iek. Right now, and I can't believe I'm saying this, I half want Eric to commit suicide to be with Godric. I know, it would be stupid to have my other favourite character killed, but it's the only thing that makes sense and is in character for Eric right now. *grumble*
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 03:01 pm (UTC)See, I think it would be a reasonable thing to do and potentially effective, as long as we're like "we just want Godric back somehow, back to life, in flashbacks, whatever." Because it's not like flashbacks are unreasonable or never done in TB before haha
Well, Eric did offer to commit suicide in order to be with Godric, which counts quite a bit in my book since it's probably the one time he would ever put someone else ahead of his survival. I'm glad he'll be in next episode, but if he isn't all depressed (or obviously hiding his heartbreak in some way) I may have to just quit. Go back to only watching the Eric scenes and not watching anything else.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 12:28 am (UTC)True. We just have to beg loud enough. :/
I just don't see Eric offering something like that and then living on normally after Godric sent him away. I see him simply killing himself the next night. Because I don't believe that Eric offered to die with him in order to blackmail Godric, but because he really doesn't want to live without Godric.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 03:13 am (UTC)And also they should really consider, not only the emotional strain of losing someone he loved, but the psychological ramifications of a bond that's been part of him for 1000 years suddenly being severed. Surely Eric felt something and now he's feeling...nothing where Godric used to be. It would surely be devastating.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 11:28 am (UTC)True. I either want Eric dead or Eric going insane. Or, even better, Godric coming back. Or Eric going insane, and Godric coming back to make him better again. :D
no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 02:09 pm (UTC)Or Eric going insane and thinking Godric is back and us seeing some scenes from his point of view and having Godric be in them. I'd accept that.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-26 07:03 pm (UTC)It would be better than nothing. :/