Picspam: Hans Matheson in Nero

[linndechir]

It's been a while since the last proper picspam, but I just remembered that picspams are a great excuse not to write fanfic ... Bad me, I know. So, here's a HUGE picspam of Hans Matheson in Imperium: Nero, playing ... well, Nero. Watch it. Never mind the historical inaccuracies, just watch it like any other work of fiction. Not for the movie itself (which focuses way too much on the boring love story instead of on politics and Nero's characterisation), but for Hans' stunning performance. Not to mention that he's as gorgeous as ever.



Meet Emperor Nero. However, this is not what he looks like at the beginning of the movie ... at the beginning, we have this adorable, naive boy:






D'awwwww!




All right, his hands aren't as beautiful as August Diehl's or Mark Strong's, but they're still pretty.




Being slashy and adorable with his love interest's daddy.


And again ... He's slashy with a couple of other people as well. ;)

















Lil Nero finally found his way back to Rome and is starting to look civilised. ;) And still adorable.


I managed to avoid pictures of the annoying love interest so far, but here she is. How DARE anyone make poor Nero unhappy (which she does)?





Obligatory pics of Hans with horse. :) I don't know about you, but it always makes me happy.






Notice anything? Yes, he looks really posh now, doesn't he? That's because the Emperor just married his mother (the woman on the picture) and adopted him.








The ultimate "bitch please"-look, followed by ...


... the ultimate annoyed "why can't they leave me alone?"-look.




Erm ... guh? Btw, that's NOT his love interest he's getting married to here, but the rich patrician woman the Emperor wants him to marry.


















Way too late in the movie, Nero's step-father dies and Nero becomes emperor. My comments are kinda useless, aren't they?




I love how he looks like a little boy here. ^^


Notice the guy in the background, that's Seneca, Nero's teacher and mentor. They're adorable.






That's his wife (the one you didn't notice in the pics before because Nero's porny bread-eating distracted you). I feel bad for her - she loved him and she would have been so much better for him than the stupid, self-righteous love interest who breaks his heart (the one on the picture below). Really, as far as the (fairly insane) women in this movie go, his wife was the nicest one.


















Lucky girl. *sigh*






The good thing about being Emperor? You can tell people to STFU! ;)


What's up with Hans Matheson playing all these characters with really weird mother issues?


He looks wonderfully bored. ^^


He's just standing up, but I think he looks like he's about to start dancing. ;)




LULZ!




I love his clothes in this movie. This picture also features my dysfunctional OTP in this whole thing: Nero and the captain of the Praetorian Guard (who killed Nero's father, then is loyal to Nero for years, then betrays him in the end). Speaking of their slashiness ...






Do I need to say more?






The ANGST! God, I want to throttle all those stupid directors who cast mediocre actors when they could have people like Hans. His acting is superb.


















Love the WTF?-look.


And the "about to go insane"-look.




Remember what I said about weird mother relationships? Really ... and I thought the mother issues in The Mists of Avalon were bad. ;)













The following pictures demonstrate why his love interest is BAD for him:

Mood: happy and hopeful.


Mood: disappointed and sad.


Mood: disappointed and angry. Good job, girl.


Notice the pretty shoulder.













Time for funny faces. :D


I'm always impressed by how angry he can look.


Did I mention that he sings in several scenes? He has a very beautiful, soft voice. I usually prefer deeper voices, but his voice is just irresistible. So sad and beautiful.














I think at this point even die-hard het shippers should have wanted to slap the love interest and tell her to leave the poor guy alone.














Am I the only one to think that there's something orgasmic about his expression?






I hope you enjoyed the spam. :D I'm sorry for the absurd size of this picspam, but, as usual, I felt that all of these pics were so beautiful that they needed to be shared. It's Hans' fault, not mine. ;)


Comments

[thatsleon.livejournal.com]

askjsdhsg oh god, you always have the best picspams <33

You know I love this. And hnnngh, that last pic KILLS me.

;A;

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! :D

I can't even count the pics that kill me. The entire movie killed me. It makes me use my happy!icon. ;)

[1001cranes.livejournal.com]

HANS &hearts

Vaguely related - http://harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=251

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

LOL, poor Nero. :D

[ladyheatherlly.livejournal.com]

I watched this movie a few weeks ago and noticed that there's an insane amount of "Nero angsting in bed" scenes. Not that I'm complaining, of course! Hell, I'd watch a movie with nothing else but that quite happily.

You're totally right about Acte, by the way. I'm usually all about the het relationships and certainly don't mind strong women with their own principles. But someone like her? Not willing to compromise even just a little, totally uncaring about the fact that she's tearing him apart?

I spent most of that movie hoping she'd get fed to the lions or something. :/

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

I'm all for the angsting in bed. There was also a very sweet angsting-in-bed scene in The Virgin Queen. Hans is generally great at angsting (and looking pretty while doing so).

Well, I'm a hardcore slasher, so I wasn't too happy about the annoying het romance either way. But Acte was particularly bad. So self-righteous and egocentric to the point of being cruel, with absolutely no compassion and comprehension for him. As far as the het relationships in this movie went, I really liked Octavia (was that her name? his first wife) - she genuinely seemed to care about him, and he treated her so badly. It made me sad.

[ladyheatherlly.livejournal.com]

I totally agree about Octavia. She was so sweet and loving and the worst part of all was that it felt like she was never even given a chance to be loved in return. I was really frustrated with Nero for not even trying with her.

Slash vs. Het... I can go either way, depending on the character. I generally don't worry too much about whoever they're paired with though, since I'm usually inserting whoever I feel like having in their place anyway. :D

I just hate those few cases where they're too obnoxious to ignore.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Yep. I mean, I knew I couldn't hope for canon slash (because I shipped Nero and, what's was his name, Tigellinus?, like burning), so I hoped at least that Octavia would get a chance to make him happy. At least she would have understood that a politician sometimes has to make unpleasant choices.

Lucky you. ^^ My problem with het is that 95% of all female characters in movies, books etc. are either obnoxious bitches or boring, flat characters with absolutely no depth at all. Honestly? Even most canon het pairings seem out of character to me because it just doesn't make any sense that the well-developed male character would fall in love with the flat female character who is nothing but a pretty face. The male/male-relationships usually have a lot more depth. Not always, but often.
And slash porn is hotter, imo. ;)

And I agree, some pairings and/or characters are just too annoying to be ignored. Some pairings can practically ruin a movie/show/whatever.

[ladyheatherlly.livejournal.com]

I totally see where you're coming from. The only reason I'm able to have as many favorite het pairings as I do is because I completely reinvent the female counterpart in my imagination. If it were based on the story alone, I probably couldn't do it.

I hate that with female characters. It's as if they have to fit one of two stereotypes... the tough bitch or the damsel in distress. The aggressor or the victim. The perfect, angelic ideal or the Jezebel.
Most movies/TV shows/books completely ignore the fact that most of us females are way too complex for that. Most of us are definitely in the gray area somewhere in between, with qualities all over the spectrum. I'd love to see more female characters written that way. Realistic, three-dimensional people. Not just plot points for the male characters to bounce off of.

Slash porn can be intensely hot, I agree. With the right character or even the right fic with one I would've never imagined that way, I can totally get into it. :)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm usually not interested enough in the female characters to bother with them and work on their characterisation. Many of my favourite male characters were also relatively under-developed in canon, but I liked them enough to develop them further in my fanfics (I have a soft spot for side characters). With female characters, I prefer to ignore them. And I don't find het fic one bit hot, so I have strictly no interest in making the pairings more believable. Even with the very few canon het pairings I ship, I don't want to imagine/read any smut with them.

I guess too much bad het in canon, which never left any room for believable canon slash, made me defensive. I don't want to give het a chance. It's all over the place in canon, I don't need it in fandom. ;)

[ladyheatherlly.livejournal.com]

Makes sense to me. The great thing about fandom is there's a niche for all of us. Everything from just being a little disappointed with canon pairings or sexual orientations to wanting to reimagine stories altogether. We can write/read the stuff we like and avoid the stuff we don't.

I say as long as everyone has access to their own particular brand of porn, it's all good. ;)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Exactly. ^^ Even if it's sometimes frustrating when your particular niche of fandom is very tiny and no one cares about it, but it's still better than nothing at all. ^^ (I really wish some of Hans' movies had at least a couple of fics ... seriously. :/)

[ladyheatherlly.livejournal.com]

I know! I end up scouring the internet every time I watch a new one and usually can't find much. He seems to have a pretty good fan base, so I'm surprised there isn't more out there.

I've been halfway thinking I should write one, but I don't know. It would be a minority within a minority unless I wrote slash. LOL

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

It's frustrating, I know. I desperately looked for some Body of Lies fanfic after watching it - Mark Strong's and Leonardo DiCaprio's characters were being very unsubtly slashy, but there isn't a single fanfic out there. I couldn't believe it. Especially since it's actually a big American movie by a big American director, and not some tiny English TV production. How come so many people have seen the movie and NOT written fic? :(

Then write slash. *nudge-nudge* ;) I actually write about Hans occasionally, Sherlock Holmes has given him at least somewhat of a fan base. But even they are more interested in either the actor or his character in SH than in his other roles. Which isn't bad either, of course.

[ladyheatherlly.livejournal.com]

I've written slash in the past. I did quite a few with LotR because come on... all of those hot men alone in the wilderness together? Pretty elves and dirty humans? Impossible to ignore the constant implications. ;)

As far as Hans, I'm not interested in writing the actor as himself. I've never been into real person fic... characters and their settings have always been more interesting to me. Especially the period stuff.

I thought often about writing a Mordred fic. I've always thought his portrayal of the character was incredible and it was a shame he was given such little chance to develop/screen time. Arthurian fantasy is one of my other huge obsessions, so I'm sure it'd be really fun to do.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Haha, yes, nobody escapes the slashiness of LotR. ^^

I used to dislike RPS and think it's somewhat creepy, but by now I really like it. I don't know, it's just a different kind of fiction and no closer to reality than writing about the characters the actors have played. But I understand how it can be less interesting than the characters themselves. I was somehow converted to RPS by several movies with actors who seem to cuddle on every single picture, who sparkle at each other in interviews as if they're in love ... I couldn't resist. ;)

Ah, that makes sense. I never got all that much into it, but I definitely liked Hans' portrayal of Mordred. Weirdly enough I didn't feel like writing fic about him, though. I'd rather write fic about movie!Nero. But for the moment I'm pretty much stuck with Lord Coward from Sherlock Holmes. ;)

[ladyheatherlly.livejournal.com]

I need to watch Sherlock Holmes. I skipped ahead just to watch Hans, but I'm sure I'd get a lot more out of even just his character by watching the whole thing.

I can totally understand wanting to write about Nero though. Especially if you take that version and incorporate a few of the historical facts/rumors. Not really deplorable things, but the more interesting facts that were left out.

I mean historically, he did sleep with both men and women. (like most of the emperors)

The first Roman emperor to have married a man was Nero, who is reported to have married two other men on different occasions. Nero "married a man named Sporus in a very public ceremony... with all the solemnities of matrimony, and lived with him as his spouse"
source

100% canon. ;)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

You definitely should watch it. His character really isn't all that important, but the movie itself is really fun to watch.

Lol, interesting, I didn't even know about that. ;) But I know shamefully few things about that time, and the last thing I need in my life is MORE (pseudo-)historical slash. I'm already spending way too much time reading about the Reformation just because The Tudors made me want to write Cromwell/Cranmer. The stuff I know about theology now just because of them ... *facepalm* And, of course, with a historically completely inaccurate movie like Nero I could of course easily ignore history and just write what I want ... but I'd still feel bad about it. Even if the real Nero was probably a lot less loveable than Hans'.

[ladyheatherlly.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I'm such a history nut. I don't think it's even possible to spend too much time on that stuff. If you don't write, it's fascinating just on its own. If you do, it can be fun to weave in the actual history with your own original plot lines.

I don't think it's necessary to be completely accurate, especially considering that the average person reading your stories probably won't care anyway. But I know when I write, I can get a lot more into it if I have at least a reasonable background to go on.

So yeah, don't feel bad. I spent hours researching medieval underwear the other night, just to make sure I could get a sex scene right. ;)

Oh, here's a historical Nero fact that might amuse you. Ever read any MPREG? I'm guessing he did!

At one point, he wished to experience pregnancy so he summoned two court doctors and ordered them to solve the matter. The poor unfortunates prepared a mildly soporific concoction and made the emperor swallow it down along with a tiny frog. The little creature stayed alive for a few moments and moved around in Nero's belly, giving him a feeling that seemed to suggest a state of advanced pregnancy. The doctors were nonetheless aware that the trick would not last, so they did not wait to receive the emperor's thanks, and ran as fast as their legs could carry them!
source

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Of course, it doesn't have to be - and it probably never IS - entirely accurate, but I know how much historical inaccuracies bug people who know about history. I don't mean tiny little details that you change for the sake of your story, but huge anachronisms and mistakes. And since historical fiction is often read by other history nuts, I don't want to hurt their brains too much. I know I get angry fits whenever I read some bullshit about Heydrich, so when I started getting into the whole nazi slash thing I had to read up a bit to avoid the typical blatant characterisation mistakes. And I don't think I'll be able to write a single line about Cranmer that I'd let anyone else read unless I understand the whole theological stuff that was so important to him.

I have to admit that the thing that annoyed me most about the Nero movie was that they pronounced 'Lucius' the modern way, and all I could think was "It's LuKius, you idiots!" At least I'm fairly sure it still was a K in the 1st century. Sure, they were speaking English anyway, so why not use the English pronunciation ... but still, it struck me as so wrong.

Oh GOD, I don't know if that's sad or hilarious. Mpreg traumatised me more often than I can count. ;)

[street-spirit01.livejournal.com]

LMFAO @ your icon<3 and I have no idea who this actor is and i've never heard of the movie, but every pic got me more and more interested. at the beginning i wasn't really into how he looked either but now i'm very turned on lmao mission accomplished linn<3 (LOVE when he's being fed bread!)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Yay for funny icons! ;)

Mission accomplished, great! I need to make everyone love Hans ... Did I already manage to convert you to Mark Strong as well? ;D

[street-spirit01.livejournal.com]

Oh I'm already there with Mark Strong, i saw RocknRolla in theatres and fell in love right there lol oh god the narration and the archie slap.. everyythingg<3 yum lol I'm glad you have fueled that obsession, i haven't heard of anyone else liking him until you brought him up XD

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Ooooooh, very very very good. The famous Archie slap! You really need to watch more of his movies. I'm obsessing hopelessly about this guy, it's not even healthy anymore.

[serpentsign.livejournal.com]

Lovely pic spam! Give it time and I'll totally convert to the Hans fanbase :D Btw. almost laughed my self to death when I realized that this Nero was the same crazy emperor as ( only the most hilarious thing ever )

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

ROFL! Yeah, I guess Hans is the first one to play an entirely adorable, sexy Nero. ;)

I do hope I can manage to convert you. I need more people who love both Mark AND Hans, or else I feel so alone. ;)

[serpentsign.livejournal.com]

I totally support Blackwood/Coward, let's see if I can manage to love more than one actor at the time though! XD

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Hehe, I usually have one big actor crush at a time, but since I fell in love with Hans and Mark at the same time, they just belong together for me. ;)

[mesmerized-mia.livejournal.com]

I want to watch it NOW.

<3

[mesmerized-mia.livejournal.com]

And I loved your commentary on it, btw.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Haha, you should watch it! :D

Thanks. ^^ I always feel like my comments are rather silly and pointless, but it would feel even weirder to post the pictures without any commentary at all. Glad you liked it.

[driftwoodq.livejournal.com]

I AM TORN.

HANS IS ADORABLE, BUT I LOVE CLAUDIUS, BUT—BUT—.

Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I like Nero a ton of a lot more than I like Caligula. I like him more than I like Messalina, and Tiberius, but Claudius is still my favourite AND NOW NERO IS SECOND BECAUSE OHMYGOD KJDSHFLKSJHDFISDHFSDHF HANS NEEDS TO BE PUT IN A HOME FOR ADORABLE PEOPLE SO WE MAY SQUEAK OVER THEM.

YOU ARE AMAZING. THANK YOU.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your awesome comment! :D Hans is indeed too adorable for this world. Don't people who see him IRL just fall over and die from such much adorableness?

[driftwoodq.livejournal.com]

....probably.

[unsettledink.livejournal.com]

I actually know why I didn't comment on this! It was because I was a big puddle of of 'awwwww!!' on the floor, unable to say anything but 'so cute! so mf cute! am dying of the cuteness!'

And I'm back to being a puddle of goo. Although I'll add 'those eyes!' and 'angst in bed!' to the list of things I can mutter.

GUH. YAY PICSPAM

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

You can imagine that I looked just like that (puddle of goo) after watchin the movie. Although, I watched it a second time with a friend, and it gets even WORSE when you see it twice. Why can't Hans play in better movies? :( He was still awesome, though.

OHGODYESPLEASE HIS EYES!!! And he's so good at angsting in bed ... did that in The Virgin Queen too, and here he does it several times ... I approve. ^^

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Ah, it's always nice to hear that people occasionally look at stuff I did years ago. ;) I'm glad you liked the picspam.