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linndechirTitle: Moment of Bliss
Fandom: In Arcadia (fake Bond verse)
Pairing: Marius Thorne/Adam Hayes
Rating: R
Words: 4783
Warnings: short but rather graphic mention of past rape, but what do you expect, it's Adam
Summary: Adam likes to spend his evenings curled up at Marius' feet. And yes, I wrote almost 5000 words of fic about that.
A/N: I'm ridiculous. This verse and this ship have eaten my brain.
Adam checked the exits and windows on the ground floor again, roaming through the large living-room like a restless guard dog. He didn't like Marius' country manor. It was huge and ancient and although Adam rationally knew that the security was state-of-the-art, it felt somehow less secure than Marius' other, more modern houses. Maybe Adam simply didn't like it because it was so old and full of history. All of Marius' places, everything he touched and did, smelt of a wealth Adam had barely been able to imagine before, but this mansion also spoke of a family history that Adam found more than a little intimidating. He had barely known his own father, never met his grandparents. His family had no history. He had been born a nobody, would have always been a nobody if Marius had not given his life meaning. His home was wherever Marius was, but while Adam had found it easy enough to get used to the wealth around him as long as he was by Marius' side, he never really felt comfortable in this house. It was like a relic from the world Marius was planning to dismantle.
Maybe that was why Marius himself didn't seem to like the place much either. He preferred to live in his villa in London, and when he needed some quiet time away from the capital, his choice usually fell on his house in Switzerland, not his family's estate in England. Adam wasn't quite sure why they were here now, but at least he was confident that they wouldn't stay for long.
Even so, Marius looked at ease, as always. He fit into the rich, but understated wooden décor of the room, but then again Marius always looked like he owned any place he set foot in. He seemed at home anywhere he went because he simply expected the world to bend to his wishes – and he had the money to ensure that it did. Marius had changed into a clean suit when they had arrived at the manor earlier in the evening; even at home he always looked pristine, where any normal person would change into more comfortable clothes. He was the picture of relaxed elegance as he was sitting in a large armchair by the fireplace – Adam didn't think he had ever been anywhere with a real fireplace before he had met Marius – reading something on his tablet. Always reading, always working. It was one of the first things Adam had respected about him when he had just been getting to know him. He had always imagined that rich people were all lazy, especially those who came from money, but Marius seemed to take his wealth as a responsibility and an opportunity, not as an excuse not to work.
Adam interrupted his brooding, reminded himself to stay vigilant. No matter how many other security guards Marius had around him – and there were always at least half a dozen on duty, no matter where they went – Adam still liked to keep an eye on Marius himself. It was a sign of great trust that Marius kept Adam with him at all times, even when Adam was technically off duty, and Adam had no intention of ever disappointing him. He peered outside into the dark garden, walked to the other end of the window to get a better look.
“Stop pacing, Adam.” Marius' voice was calm and firm, but it barely sounded like an order. His words rarely did. He was no officer shouting orders at his subordinates, no upstart whose power and wealth had gone to his head. Marius stated his wishes in the most matter-of-fact tone and simply expected people to comply. They usually did.
Adam looked down, ashamed. There was nothing he dreaded more than displeasing Marius, even in the most minor ways. Marius was very picky about the people he surrounded himself with, very strict about how he expected them to behave. He was a creature of habit who hated nothing more than when things did not go the way he liked them to.
“I was checking the windows, sir.”
“You've done that three times already since we arrived, if memory serves. You and the rest of my security staff. I'm quite safe. The only thing in danger right now is my concentration if you keep pacing.” He hadn't looked up from the tablet. Adam suspected that he hadn't even stopped reading while he was talking. Truth be told, it was almost impossible to break Marius' concentration; he simply hated to have his peace and quiet disturbed, especially in the evening.
“I'm sorry, sir.” Adam was still standing by the window, suddenly not quite sure what to do with himself anymore. He was afraid Marius would ask him to leave the room, and cursed himself for not realising sooner that he had been bothering him.
But when Marius finally looked up, his eyes softened a little. Barely noticeable, just like his voice sounded barely any different from when he talked to other people, but Adam could detect the tiniest shifts in Marius' demeanour. It came from being around him 24/7, from watching him like a hawk, from thinking about him even when he wasn't with him. Objectively speaking, Marius was quite hard to read, but Adam was so attuned to him that he noticed his approval as easily as his anger.
“Sit down.” Again it didn't sound like an order, but Adam was always quick to do whatever Marius asked of him. He walked over to the fireplace, and for a moment he considered the other chair there – probably where Marius had intended for him to sit – but instead he simply sat down on the floor next to Marius' chair. Coiled, ready to jump up again if necessary. The carpet was soft and thick, quite comfortable, actually, but Adam would have sat down on a bed of nails if it meant being by Marius' side. He glanced up to see a slightly surprised look in Marius' eyes, but then Marius smiled. Adam loved his smile, the slight quirking of his thin lips, the crinkling around his eyes, the way his frown smoothed out. There was always a certain tenderness in Marius' eyes whenever he looked at him. Marius valued him. Liked him even. Otherwise he would hardly have chosen Adam to be with him every day, at every hour, wherever Marius went. Marius' trust and affection were the most precious thing in the world to Adam, the only thing he needed.
“Comfortable?” Marius asked, amused, and Adam just nodded happily. He wanted to kiss Marius' hand where it lay on the armrest, but he managed to resist the urge. It would have been disrespectful to touch Marius without permission, and while Adam was quite cheeky on occasion, he still knew his place. Even so the warmth of Marius' body so close to his made Adam relax like a cat in the afternoon sun; he leant against the chair and even closed his eyes after a few minutes, while Marius returned to his reading.
After a while Adam felt Marius' hand on the side of his neck. Marius' favourite place to touch. He had always had little respect for Adam's personal space, ever since they had met, but Adam didn't mind. He belonged to Marius, so it would never occur to him to deny him anything at all. Not to mention that Adam craved his touch, the gentle caress of those long, soft, but strong fingers. He loved the way they would curl at the back of his neck, a light, loving pressure; it was a possessive gesture that just made Adam feel at home. He leant eagerly into the touch, while Marius kept petting his neck, retracing an old scar that peeked out from under his shirt. Adam sighed softly. He enjoyed the callboys Marius sent him regularly – with the innocent explanation that sex was healthy, or rather that not having sex was quite unhealthy – but he'd gladly give up their willing mouths and bodies just to feel Marius' hands in his hair instead. Adam liked to touch those boys, but not so much to let them touch him; that was for Marius alone to do, and Adam's only complaint would have been that Marius didn't do it more often.
He went slack under those warm hands and obeyed happily when Marius pulled him closer, until Adam's head rested on Marius' thigh. Eyes still closed, he pressed his face against the exquisite fabric of Marius' suit trousers. Nothing about Marius was ever not perfect, not only his looks, but even how he smelt and felt. Adam imagined that his skin would taste clean and smooth under his lips.
Marius' hand stayed in Adam's hair, stroking his head and scratching him gently. Behind the ear, like a dog, Adam thought wryly, but the thought didn't offend him. On the contrary, he often liked to think of himself as Marius' dog, loyal to the core, devoted, willing to kill and die for him. He would be a fool to resent the affection he was given in return. A soft groan escaped his lips; he had never known that just getting his head massaged a little was so incredibly relaxing, with Marius' hands easily chasing every bit of unease and tenseness from his mind and his muscles.
Adam felt a pang of disappointment when Marius shifted, afraid that his moment of bliss was over already. But Marius was simply spreading his legs a little while his hand on Adam's neck directed him to move between them. Adam breathed in sharply when it occurred to him what Marius might want. The vivid memory of the last time someone had grabbed his hair and forced his head between their legs surged up in him, the sharp tang of an unwashed cock getting shoved down his throat, laughing voices warning him not to bite unless he wanted them to start cutting him into little pieces … But somehow the expected panic that usually accompanied such memories failed to appear. He knew where he was, safe and sound; the hand in his hair belonged to his saviour and was welcome to touch him wherever he liked. And even if Marius wanted more than just that, Adam would give it to him, and gladly. Marius was nothing like the men who had used Adam for years. Adam was not sure if he would enjoy the act itself, not even with Marius, but he knew that he always loved serving him, loved making him smile, loved seeing approval and affection in his eyes. Giving Marius what he wanted would never be a sacrifice.
Adam slid over obediently to sit between Marius' legs and looked up at him expectantly. But to his surprise all Marius did was bed Adam's head on his thigh again, on the inside this time, and resumed stroking his hair. Despite his determination Adam almost let out a relieved laugh, and in the next moment he felt ashamed of ever suspecting his Marius of just using him in such a way. He had simply wanted to be more comfortable, Adam assumed. He still took full advantage of the situation, buried his face against Marius' thigh, drank in his caresses greedily. Unlike Adam's tormentors Marius always smelt so clean, his suit and his skin and the discreet smell of the hand lotion that kept his fingers so soft. Marius' other knee brushed against Adam's shoulder, and Adam felt oddly ... safe. For all that it was his job to protect Marius, Marius was his saviour, the god who had given him a new life, a better life. This was his home, right here, where his world was reduced to nothing but Marius' smell and the touch of his hand and the pressure of his thigh against Adam's cheek.
Adam realised that this was what perfect happiness felt like, realised that if he could just stay here forever, he would, without a moment's hesitation. Marius' hand had moved on to Adam's cheek after a while, and for once he did not seem to mind the stubble. Adam was so relaxed again that he forgot his usual reservations, just turned his head and kissed Marius' palm. Kept kissing it when Marius didn't pull back, mouthed over soft skin, so unlike the hard callouses of Adam's own hands. Kissed the knuckles of Marius' hand when Marius offered them, and then he felt Marius' thumb brushing lightly against his bottom lip. Without a moment's hesitation Adam opened his mouth to let the thumb slip between his lips.
Marius pulled back immediately. There was a tangible tension in the air, and Adam realised that he had gone too far, that he had offered something Marius had no intention of taking – and why would he, he who could have anyone he liked, why would he bother with a scarred, used up soldier whose dirty blood could ruin his life? Adam realised that his true mistake had not been to suspect Marius of crossing this last professional line between them, but to assume that Marius might even want him. Adam knew he was easy on the eye, but certainly not as beautiful as the young men Marius ordered to his office once a week. And even if he had been, Marius was obsessed with his health, certainly not reckless enough to get anywhere near Adam in any sexual way. Adam started to straighten up, but Marius didn't let him; his hand just returned to his hair and resumed stroking it, as gentle as if nothing had happened. Adam pressed a grateful kiss to Marius' thigh, then just held still again to take whatever Marius deigned to give him.
He couldn't have said how much time passed. Every now and then he dozed off a little, but woke again soon enough to focus on the feeling of Marius' hand, trying to savour every second of this. He was curled up between Marius' legs, and his head had moved up a little on his thigh, closer to his crotch now, but careful not to touch him there. It was a selfish pleasure, but Adam doubted that Marius would have been doing this for so long if he didn't enjoy it.
"Adam?"
Adam hummed happily against Marius' thigh.
"Adam?"
He flinched and raised his head suddenly, an awkward smile on his face when he realised that he had dozed off again, and he wondered how often Marius had already said his name.
"Sorry, sir." But Marius was still smiling and cupped Adam's chin in his hand; smiled even more when Adam leant into the touch.
"I'm going to bed."
Adam blinked once, before he realised that Marius could hardly get up like this, not with Adam sitting between his legs.
"Right, sir, sorry." He jumped up quickly, almost swayed a little because the loss of Marius' touch was almost physically painful. Marius got up slowly, every move as collected and elegant as ever. He raised his hand again to stroke Adam's cheek, just once this time.
"My Adam," he said quietly, his voice filled with the same tender possessiveness as his touch: Adam belonged to him, and Marius clearly loved him for it. They were so close that Adam actually thought Marius was going to kiss him, after all, and Adam wanted him to more than he had ever wanted anyone else. He wondered if he should tell Marius, tell him that he could have anything he wanted, that he didn't even need to ask.
"Yours," he said instead, his voice rough. It always sounded rough to his ears, compared to the cultivated, dark smoothness of Marius' voice.
It was not a look he was familiar with on Marius' face, but he could have sworn he saw longing in his eyes. But whatever it was, Marius didn't act on it. He pulled back and stepped past Adam without another word. Adam watched quietly as Marius disappeared into the corridor, sighed when he heard the click of the bathroom door closing. He took another quick walk through the house while Marius was showering, to check if everything was in order and have a few words with the security guards on duty. When he had made sure that everything was all right, he went to his own bathroom – and it would never not make him giddy that he did not just have his own room in all of Marius' houses these days, but his own bathroom – to brush his teeth and change into sweatpants and a tanktop, then padded barefoot to Marius' bedroom, his gun tucked under his arm.
Adam was glad he had already changed into thinner clothes because the bedroom was as overheated as any room Marius ever planned to sleep in. The bed itself was large enough to host an orgy, if Marius were the kind of man to indulge in that sort of thing (he wasn't – he was the kind of man who had a regularly scheduled appointment with some callboy or other once a week, and looked like he didn't even allow himself to think about sex the rest of the time). If Marius let him, Adam would glady sleep here, wrapped around him to keep him warm, tucked away in a corner of the bed so as not to disturb him, hell, even draped over his feet like a dog. But he could hardly ask for that, and he was already more than happy that Marius had given him a room right next to his. It was a smart choice, after all, to have a bodyguard this close, someone he could trust completely and who could be up and by his side in just a few seconds. The fact that Adam didn't have to be away from Marius even at night was just an added advantage.
Adam straightened automatically when Marius came in, dressed in dark green pyjamas and a matching dressing gown, and although he was technically almost as dressed as before, Adam still loved that he was one of the few people who got to see him like that. He knew it was ridiculous, but just seeing the hollow of Marius' throat, his collarbones, his ankles, filled him with almost as much heat as having a naked callboy in his lap. He wasn't even quite sure what he would want to do to Marius, because it was unthinkable to treat him the way he did those boys, but he'd be happy enough just to kiss every bit of skin Marius would let him see.
Marius closed the door quietly, and not for the first time Adam found himself thinking that this situation was really quite absurd, the two of them in Marius' bedroom like this, when nothing was going to happen between them. He wondered if the thought occurred to Marius as well, but then he reminded himself that Marius probably spent a lot less time thinking about curling up in bed with him than Adam did.
"Is everything all right, Adam?" Marius asked as he stepped closer. Stepped into Adam's personal space again, like he always did. Marius did that with a lot of people, sometimes to intimidate, sometimes to charm, but he did it consistently with Adam, as if to reestablish his ownership over him – not because he needed to, but because he liked to, and quite possibly also because he knew that Adam liked it as well. Adam had to force himself not to bow his head, but to meet his eyes.
"Yes, sir." Marius was so close that Adam would have barely had to move to kiss him. All he'd have to do would be to lean forward a little. He licked his lips nervously. "Is there ... anything else you need? Anything?"
"Not tonight, no."
Marius was just turning away when Adam replied with a small, cocky smirk and more confidence than he felt, "Some other night maybe, sir?"
He could see the surprise in Marius' sharp profile, and for once Marius didn't look at him; for once Adam actually couldn't read him. He wondered if Marius would simply pretend he didn't know what Adam meant, but instead he went quiet for a moment, a whole minute maybe, before he replied.
"That is not something I would ever demand of you." His voice was even, neutral, and Adam wasn't sure if Marius meant that he would never want do demand that, or that he thought it would not be right to do it.
"You could, you know?" Adam said and shrugged awkwardly. It was probably the first; Marius liked people who were good at what they did, which was why he only surrounded himself with professionals in whatever he required from them. He had a highly trained Special Forces soldier as his bodyguard and his personal hitman, but even all health issues aside, Adam hardly met the standards Marius set for the men he allowed into his bed. Adam quickly looked away, felt suddenly stupid for saying anything at all.
"I know, Adam," Marius replied, and the tenderness in his voice soothed Adam's nerves. "I know you would let me do anything I like to you. And that's why I can't." Marius' fingers lifted Adam's chin, forced him to meet his eyes again. "You are far too precious to me for that."
Adam didn't really understand what Marius meant, why he couldn't just take what was his if he wanted to, so he assumed that this was just Marius letting him down gently, because he was always gentle with Adam. It was probably for the better, he thought, better for both of them. Adam would never forgive himself if Marius did sleep with him only to regret it.
"Thank you, sir." He smiled back at Marius, nodded obediently when Marius said, "Go to bed, Adam. I have some work to discuss with you in the morning."
Marius let go of him, albeit with an almost reluctant look in his eyes. Adam was in no hurry to get to his own room – adjacent to Marius', and they usually kept the door ajar so Adam would hear immediately if something was amiss. He lingered by the door just long enough to see Marius shrug out of his dressing gown and get into bed, curled up in a heap of thick blankets. The sight made Adam smile, and he quickly retreated to his room before Marius could catch him staring.
He crawled into bed just as Marius switched off the lights in the adjacent room. For all that Adam didn't like this house, the bed he had here was the softest he had ever lain in – not that he wouldn't just as well sleep on the floor in front of Marius' door if necessary (he had even done that a few times, when there had been reasons to fear for Marius' safety – Adam was fairly sure that's when Marius had decided to let him sleep, well, not quite in his bedroom, but close enough). He closed his eyes to listen to the silence, focused on the quiet sound of Marius' breathing next door, slow and slowing down steadily; Marius was a sound sleeper who usually fell asleep within minutes of going to bed. So was Adam, really, but he did not feel sleepy that night, maybe because he had spent the evening dozing with his head in Marius' lap, maybe because he was still dizzy from the touch of Marius' fingers.
He lay back in the dark, groped himself idly through his sweatpants. He wasn't hard, but the thought of Marius' hands doing what he was doing himself right now changed that soon enough. Adam bit his lip, reminded himself to remain quiet at all cost when he pulled the fabric down just far enough to wrap his fingers around his cock and stroke it slowly. Truth be told, he had a hard time imagining actually sleeping with Marius. It wasn't so much that it was barely possible to visualise Marius being any less calm and composed than he always was, because Adam's imagination was all too happy to provide ideas of what Marius' moans could sound like, of what his face might look like when he came. No, the problem was simply that Adam was sure Marius would want to fuck him, and although Adam would let him in a heartbeat, the thought made his chest tighten and ruined whatever fantasy he was indulging in.
So instead he just thought about Marius touching him. About his hands not stopping at Adam's neck and shoulders, but wandering further down, mapping Adam's body. Marius liked to watch him work out, liked to retrace the scars on Adam's body whenever he saw them, and Adam happily drew on those memories now. Several of his scars went from his upper body down over his hips, and Adam thought of Marius retracing those and then finally wrapping his long fingers around Adam's cock, his touch both possessive and gentle because Adam was his, and Marius treated things that belonged to him with the greatest care. Marius' hands were quite nimble, Adam knew, they would probably tease him a little, but not too much, and so Adam didn't tease himself much either. Behind closed lids he saw Marius' eyes – the greenest eyes he'd ever seen, the eyes that had been his anchor since Marius had dragged him out of hell – looking down at him, his thin mouth smiling as he mumbled, “my Adam”, and it was all Adam could do not to choke out “yours” when he came, biting his lips almost bloody in an effort to stay silent.
For a moment he just stayed like that, sprawled out on his back, his messy hand resting on his thigh, until the sudden impression that he wasn't alone disrupted his afterglow. He opened his eyes just to see a dark figure stepping back from the doorway. Adam almost fell over himself, jumping off the bed even as he pulled his sweatpants up. He switched the light on and grabbed his gun before he rushed back into Marius' room, but all he saw was Marius lying in bed, just where he had been before. Adam frowned and scanned the room in the dim light, wondering if his imagination had played tricks on him, but then he noticed that the dressing gown – previously draped carefully over a chair by the bed – was now lying on the floor, as if it had been dropped in a hurry.
Adam flushed in embarrassment, and grinned just a moment later. He wasn't sure what to do with that knowledge, really, but the fact that Marius was apparently a lot less uninterested than he had seemed to be made him lightheaded. He still checked every corner of the bedroom again just to be sure, as quietly as possible – if Marius was pretending to sleep, Adam would certainly not call him out on it – then sneaked back to his own room. Fell back onto the bed with a breathless laugh. He buried his face in the pillow to muffle the sound and smiled against the soft fabric. Somehow it amused him to no end that Marius looking at him had not only been a fantasy, for what it was worth; it made him feel giddy and cheeky while his brain supplied lots of unhelpful ideas about sneaking into Marius' bed, but he knew better than that. Acting on his fantasies was out of the question, for too many obvious reasons. If Marius ever chose to disregard those reasons and take whatever it was he wanted, Adam would happily submit, but it was not his place to ask for anything that Marius had not offered first. It didn't matter. He was as happy as any man could be, he had more than he could ever have wished for, more than he deserved.
He cleaned himself up lazily, then rolled back onto his side, curled up into a ball with a thin blanket pulled tightly around himself – it was too hot for anything more than that – and closed his eyes again. He was still not sleepy, still too exhilerated from the sudden adrenalin rush and the realisation that, even if Marius hadn't been watching him as such, he had at least seen him for a moment, but knowing himself it probably wouldn't take him long to doze off again, and dream of green eyes and slender fingers and a deep, soothing voice that told him where he belonged.
Fandom: In Arcadia (fake Bond verse)
Pairing: Marius Thorne/Adam Hayes
Rating: R
Words: 4783
Warnings: short but rather graphic mention of past rape, but what do you expect, it's Adam
Summary: Adam likes to spend his evenings curled up at Marius' feet. And yes, I wrote almost 5000 words of fic about that.
A/N: I'm ridiculous. This verse and this ship have eaten my brain.
Adam checked the exits and windows on the ground floor again, roaming through the large living-room like a restless guard dog. He didn't like Marius' country manor. It was huge and ancient and although Adam rationally knew that the security was state-of-the-art, it felt somehow less secure than Marius' other, more modern houses. Maybe Adam simply didn't like it because it was so old and full of history. All of Marius' places, everything he touched and did, smelt of a wealth Adam had barely been able to imagine before, but this mansion also spoke of a family history that Adam found more than a little intimidating. He had barely known his own father, never met his grandparents. His family had no history. He had been born a nobody, would have always been a nobody if Marius had not given his life meaning. His home was wherever Marius was, but while Adam had found it easy enough to get used to the wealth around him as long as he was by Marius' side, he never really felt comfortable in this house. It was like a relic from the world Marius was planning to dismantle.
Maybe that was why Marius himself didn't seem to like the place much either. He preferred to live in his villa in London, and when he needed some quiet time away from the capital, his choice usually fell on his house in Switzerland, not his family's estate in England. Adam wasn't quite sure why they were here now, but at least he was confident that they wouldn't stay for long.
Even so, Marius looked at ease, as always. He fit into the rich, but understated wooden décor of the room, but then again Marius always looked like he owned any place he set foot in. He seemed at home anywhere he went because he simply expected the world to bend to his wishes – and he had the money to ensure that it did. Marius had changed into a clean suit when they had arrived at the manor earlier in the evening; even at home he always looked pristine, where any normal person would change into more comfortable clothes. He was the picture of relaxed elegance as he was sitting in a large armchair by the fireplace – Adam didn't think he had ever been anywhere with a real fireplace before he had met Marius – reading something on his tablet. Always reading, always working. It was one of the first things Adam had respected about him when he had just been getting to know him. He had always imagined that rich people were all lazy, especially those who came from money, but Marius seemed to take his wealth as a responsibility and an opportunity, not as an excuse not to work.
Adam interrupted his brooding, reminded himself to stay vigilant. No matter how many other security guards Marius had around him – and there were always at least half a dozen on duty, no matter where they went – Adam still liked to keep an eye on Marius himself. It was a sign of great trust that Marius kept Adam with him at all times, even when Adam was technically off duty, and Adam had no intention of ever disappointing him. He peered outside into the dark garden, walked to the other end of the window to get a better look.
“Stop pacing, Adam.” Marius' voice was calm and firm, but it barely sounded like an order. His words rarely did. He was no officer shouting orders at his subordinates, no upstart whose power and wealth had gone to his head. Marius stated his wishes in the most matter-of-fact tone and simply expected people to comply. They usually did.
Adam looked down, ashamed. There was nothing he dreaded more than displeasing Marius, even in the most minor ways. Marius was very picky about the people he surrounded himself with, very strict about how he expected them to behave. He was a creature of habit who hated nothing more than when things did not go the way he liked them to.
“I was checking the windows, sir.”
“You've done that three times already since we arrived, if memory serves. You and the rest of my security staff. I'm quite safe. The only thing in danger right now is my concentration if you keep pacing.” He hadn't looked up from the tablet. Adam suspected that he hadn't even stopped reading while he was talking. Truth be told, it was almost impossible to break Marius' concentration; he simply hated to have his peace and quiet disturbed, especially in the evening.
“I'm sorry, sir.” Adam was still standing by the window, suddenly not quite sure what to do with himself anymore. He was afraid Marius would ask him to leave the room, and cursed himself for not realising sooner that he had been bothering him.
But when Marius finally looked up, his eyes softened a little. Barely noticeable, just like his voice sounded barely any different from when he talked to other people, but Adam could detect the tiniest shifts in Marius' demeanour. It came from being around him 24/7, from watching him like a hawk, from thinking about him even when he wasn't with him. Objectively speaking, Marius was quite hard to read, but Adam was so attuned to him that he noticed his approval as easily as his anger.
“Sit down.” Again it didn't sound like an order, but Adam was always quick to do whatever Marius asked of him. He walked over to the fireplace, and for a moment he considered the other chair there – probably where Marius had intended for him to sit – but instead he simply sat down on the floor next to Marius' chair. Coiled, ready to jump up again if necessary. The carpet was soft and thick, quite comfortable, actually, but Adam would have sat down on a bed of nails if it meant being by Marius' side. He glanced up to see a slightly surprised look in Marius' eyes, but then Marius smiled. Adam loved his smile, the slight quirking of his thin lips, the crinkling around his eyes, the way his frown smoothed out. There was always a certain tenderness in Marius' eyes whenever he looked at him. Marius valued him. Liked him even. Otherwise he would hardly have chosen Adam to be with him every day, at every hour, wherever Marius went. Marius' trust and affection were the most precious thing in the world to Adam, the only thing he needed.
“Comfortable?” Marius asked, amused, and Adam just nodded happily. He wanted to kiss Marius' hand where it lay on the armrest, but he managed to resist the urge. It would have been disrespectful to touch Marius without permission, and while Adam was quite cheeky on occasion, he still knew his place. Even so the warmth of Marius' body so close to his made Adam relax like a cat in the afternoon sun; he leant against the chair and even closed his eyes after a few minutes, while Marius returned to his reading.
After a while Adam felt Marius' hand on the side of his neck. Marius' favourite place to touch. He had always had little respect for Adam's personal space, ever since they had met, but Adam didn't mind. He belonged to Marius, so it would never occur to him to deny him anything at all. Not to mention that Adam craved his touch, the gentle caress of those long, soft, but strong fingers. He loved the way they would curl at the back of his neck, a light, loving pressure; it was a possessive gesture that just made Adam feel at home. He leant eagerly into the touch, while Marius kept petting his neck, retracing an old scar that peeked out from under his shirt. Adam sighed softly. He enjoyed the callboys Marius sent him regularly – with the innocent explanation that sex was healthy, or rather that not having sex was quite unhealthy – but he'd gladly give up their willing mouths and bodies just to feel Marius' hands in his hair instead. Adam liked to touch those boys, but not so much to let them touch him; that was for Marius alone to do, and Adam's only complaint would have been that Marius didn't do it more often.
He went slack under those warm hands and obeyed happily when Marius pulled him closer, until Adam's head rested on Marius' thigh. Eyes still closed, he pressed his face against the exquisite fabric of Marius' suit trousers. Nothing about Marius was ever not perfect, not only his looks, but even how he smelt and felt. Adam imagined that his skin would taste clean and smooth under his lips.
Marius' hand stayed in Adam's hair, stroking his head and scratching him gently. Behind the ear, like a dog, Adam thought wryly, but the thought didn't offend him. On the contrary, he often liked to think of himself as Marius' dog, loyal to the core, devoted, willing to kill and die for him. He would be a fool to resent the affection he was given in return. A soft groan escaped his lips; he had never known that just getting his head massaged a little was so incredibly relaxing, with Marius' hands easily chasing every bit of unease and tenseness from his mind and his muscles.
Adam felt a pang of disappointment when Marius shifted, afraid that his moment of bliss was over already. But Marius was simply spreading his legs a little while his hand on Adam's neck directed him to move between them. Adam breathed in sharply when it occurred to him what Marius might want. The vivid memory of the last time someone had grabbed his hair and forced his head between their legs surged up in him, the sharp tang of an unwashed cock getting shoved down his throat, laughing voices warning him not to bite unless he wanted them to start cutting him into little pieces … But somehow the expected panic that usually accompanied such memories failed to appear. He knew where he was, safe and sound; the hand in his hair belonged to his saviour and was welcome to touch him wherever he liked. And even if Marius wanted more than just that, Adam would give it to him, and gladly. Marius was nothing like the men who had used Adam for years. Adam was not sure if he would enjoy the act itself, not even with Marius, but he knew that he always loved serving him, loved making him smile, loved seeing approval and affection in his eyes. Giving Marius what he wanted would never be a sacrifice.
Adam slid over obediently to sit between Marius' legs and looked up at him expectantly. But to his surprise all Marius did was bed Adam's head on his thigh again, on the inside this time, and resumed stroking his hair. Despite his determination Adam almost let out a relieved laugh, and in the next moment he felt ashamed of ever suspecting his Marius of just using him in such a way. He had simply wanted to be more comfortable, Adam assumed. He still took full advantage of the situation, buried his face against Marius' thigh, drank in his caresses greedily. Unlike Adam's tormentors Marius always smelt so clean, his suit and his skin and the discreet smell of the hand lotion that kept his fingers so soft. Marius' other knee brushed against Adam's shoulder, and Adam felt oddly ... safe. For all that it was his job to protect Marius, Marius was his saviour, the god who had given him a new life, a better life. This was his home, right here, where his world was reduced to nothing but Marius' smell and the touch of his hand and the pressure of his thigh against Adam's cheek.
Adam realised that this was what perfect happiness felt like, realised that if he could just stay here forever, he would, without a moment's hesitation. Marius' hand had moved on to Adam's cheek after a while, and for once he did not seem to mind the stubble. Adam was so relaxed again that he forgot his usual reservations, just turned his head and kissed Marius' palm. Kept kissing it when Marius didn't pull back, mouthed over soft skin, so unlike the hard callouses of Adam's own hands. Kissed the knuckles of Marius' hand when Marius offered them, and then he felt Marius' thumb brushing lightly against his bottom lip. Without a moment's hesitation Adam opened his mouth to let the thumb slip between his lips.
Marius pulled back immediately. There was a tangible tension in the air, and Adam realised that he had gone too far, that he had offered something Marius had no intention of taking – and why would he, he who could have anyone he liked, why would he bother with a scarred, used up soldier whose dirty blood could ruin his life? Adam realised that his true mistake had not been to suspect Marius of crossing this last professional line between them, but to assume that Marius might even want him. Adam knew he was easy on the eye, but certainly not as beautiful as the young men Marius ordered to his office once a week. And even if he had been, Marius was obsessed with his health, certainly not reckless enough to get anywhere near Adam in any sexual way. Adam started to straighten up, but Marius didn't let him; his hand just returned to his hair and resumed stroking it, as gentle as if nothing had happened. Adam pressed a grateful kiss to Marius' thigh, then just held still again to take whatever Marius deigned to give him.
He couldn't have said how much time passed. Every now and then he dozed off a little, but woke again soon enough to focus on the feeling of Marius' hand, trying to savour every second of this. He was curled up between Marius' legs, and his head had moved up a little on his thigh, closer to his crotch now, but careful not to touch him there. It was a selfish pleasure, but Adam doubted that Marius would have been doing this for so long if he didn't enjoy it.
"Adam?"
Adam hummed happily against Marius' thigh.
"Adam?"
He flinched and raised his head suddenly, an awkward smile on his face when he realised that he had dozed off again, and he wondered how often Marius had already said his name.
"Sorry, sir." But Marius was still smiling and cupped Adam's chin in his hand; smiled even more when Adam leant into the touch.
"I'm going to bed."
Adam blinked once, before he realised that Marius could hardly get up like this, not with Adam sitting between his legs.
"Right, sir, sorry." He jumped up quickly, almost swayed a little because the loss of Marius' touch was almost physically painful. Marius got up slowly, every move as collected and elegant as ever. He raised his hand again to stroke Adam's cheek, just once this time.
"My Adam," he said quietly, his voice filled with the same tender possessiveness as his touch: Adam belonged to him, and Marius clearly loved him for it. They were so close that Adam actually thought Marius was going to kiss him, after all, and Adam wanted him to more than he had ever wanted anyone else. He wondered if he should tell Marius, tell him that he could have anything he wanted, that he didn't even need to ask.
"Yours," he said instead, his voice rough. It always sounded rough to his ears, compared to the cultivated, dark smoothness of Marius' voice.
It was not a look he was familiar with on Marius' face, but he could have sworn he saw longing in his eyes. But whatever it was, Marius didn't act on it. He pulled back and stepped past Adam without another word. Adam watched quietly as Marius disappeared into the corridor, sighed when he heard the click of the bathroom door closing. He took another quick walk through the house while Marius was showering, to check if everything was in order and have a few words with the security guards on duty. When he had made sure that everything was all right, he went to his own bathroom – and it would never not make him giddy that he did not just have his own room in all of Marius' houses these days, but his own bathroom – to brush his teeth and change into sweatpants and a tanktop, then padded barefoot to Marius' bedroom, his gun tucked under his arm.
Adam was glad he had already changed into thinner clothes because the bedroom was as overheated as any room Marius ever planned to sleep in. The bed itself was large enough to host an orgy, if Marius were the kind of man to indulge in that sort of thing (he wasn't – he was the kind of man who had a regularly scheduled appointment with some callboy or other once a week, and looked like he didn't even allow himself to think about sex the rest of the time). If Marius let him, Adam would glady sleep here, wrapped around him to keep him warm, tucked away in a corner of the bed so as not to disturb him, hell, even draped over his feet like a dog. But he could hardly ask for that, and he was already more than happy that Marius had given him a room right next to his. It was a smart choice, after all, to have a bodyguard this close, someone he could trust completely and who could be up and by his side in just a few seconds. The fact that Adam didn't have to be away from Marius even at night was just an added advantage.
Adam straightened automatically when Marius came in, dressed in dark green pyjamas and a matching dressing gown, and although he was technically almost as dressed as before, Adam still loved that he was one of the few people who got to see him like that. He knew it was ridiculous, but just seeing the hollow of Marius' throat, his collarbones, his ankles, filled him with almost as much heat as having a naked callboy in his lap. He wasn't even quite sure what he would want to do to Marius, because it was unthinkable to treat him the way he did those boys, but he'd be happy enough just to kiss every bit of skin Marius would let him see.
Marius closed the door quietly, and not for the first time Adam found himself thinking that this situation was really quite absurd, the two of them in Marius' bedroom like this, when nothing was going to happen between them. He wondered if the thought occurred to Marius as well, but then he reminded himself that Marius probably spent a lot less time thinking about curling up in bed with him than Adam did.
"Is everything all right, Adam?" Marius asked as he stepped closer. Stepped into Adam's personal space again, like he always did. Marius did that with a lot of people, sometimes to intimidate, sometimes to charm, but he did it consistently with Adam, as if to reestablish his ownership over him – not because he needed to, but because he liked to, and quite possibly also because he knew that Adam liked it as well. Adam had to force himself not to bow his head, but to meet his eyes.
"Yes, sir." Marius was so close that Adam would have barely had to move to kiss him. All he'd have to do would be to lean forward a little. He licked his lips nervously. "Is there ... anything else you need? Anything?"
"Not tonight, no."
Marius was just turning away when Adam replied with a small, cocky smirk and more confidence than he felt, "Some other night maybe, sir?"
He could see the surprise in Marius' sharp profile, and for once Marius didn't look at him; for once Adam actually couldn't read him. He wondered if Marius would simply pretend he didn't know what Adam meant, but instead he went quiet for a moment, a whole minute maybe, before he replied.
"That is not something I would ever demand of you." His voice was even, neutral, and Adam wasn't sure if Marius meant that he would never want do demand that, or that he thought it would not be right to do it.
"You could, you know?" Adam said and shrugged awkwardly. It was probably the first; Marius liked people who were good at what they did, which was why he only surrounded himself with professionals in whatever he required from them. He had a highly trained Special Forces soldier as his bodyguard and his personal hitman, but even all health issues aside, Adam hardly met the standards Marius set for the men he allowed into his bed. Adam quickly looked away, felt suddenly stupid for saying anything at all.
"I know, Adam," Marius replied, and the tenderness in his voice soothed Adam's nerves. "I know you would let me do anything I like to you. And that's why I can't." Marius' fingers lifted Adam's chin, forced him to meet his eyes again. "You are far too precious to me for that."
Adam didn't really understand what Marius meant, why he couldn't just take what was his if he wanted to, so he assumed that this was just Marius letting him down gently, because he was always gentle with Adam. It was probably for the better, he thought, better for both of them. Adam would never forgive himself if Marius did sleep with him only to regret it.
"Thank you, sir." He smiled back at Marius, nodded obediently when Marius said, "Go to bed, Adam. I have some work to discuss with you in the morning."
Marius let go of him, albeit with an almost reluctant look in his eyes. Adam was in no hurry to get to his own room – adjacent to Marius', and they usually kept the door ajar so Adam would hear immediately if something was amiss. He lingered by the door just long enough to see Marius shrug out of his dressing gown and get into bed, curled up in a heap of thick blankets. The sight made Adam smile, and he quickly retreated to his room before Marius could catch him staring.
He crawled into bed just as Marius switched off the lights in the adjacent room. For all that Adam didn't like this house, the bed he had here was the softest he had ever lain in – not that he wouldn't just as well sleep on the floor in front of Marius' door if necessary (he had even done that a few times, when there had been reasons to fear for Marius' safety – Adam was fairly sure that's when Marius had decided to let him sleep, well, not quite in his bedroom, but close enough). He closed his eyes to listen to the silence, focused on the quiet sound of Marius' breathing next door, slow and slowing down steadily; Marius was a sound sleeper who usually fell asleep within minutes of going to bed. So was Adam, really, but he did not feel sleepy that night, maybe because he had spent the evening dozing with his head in Marius' lap, maybe because he was still dizzy from the touch of Marius' fingers.
He lay back in the dark, groped himself idly through his sweatpants. He wasn't hard, but the thought of Marius' hands doing what he was doing himself right now changed that soon enough. Adam bit his lip, reminded himself to remain quiet at all cost when he pulled the fabric down just far enough to wrap his fingers around his cock and stroke it slowly. Truth be told, he had a hard time imagining actually sleeping with Marius. It wasn't so much that it was barely possible to visualise Marius being any less calm and composed than he always was, because Adam's imagination was all too happy to provide ideas of what Marius' moans could sound like, of what his face might look like when he came. No, the problem was simply that Adam was sure Marius would want to fuck him, and although Adam would let him in a heartbeat, the thought made his chest tighten and ruined whatever fantasy he was indulging in.
So instead he just thought about Marius touching him. About his hands not stopping at Adam's neck and shoulders, but wandering further down, mapping Adam's body. Marius liked to watch him work out, liked to retrace the scars on Adam's body whenever he saw them, and Adam happily drew on those memories now. Several of his scars went from his upper body down over his hips, and Adam thought of Marius retracing those and then finally wrapping his long fingers around Adam's cock, his touch both possessive and gentle because Adam was his, and Marius treated things that belonged to him with the greatest care. Marius' hands were quite nimble, Adam knew, they would probably tease him a little, but not too much, and so Adam didn't tease himself much either. Behind closed lids he saw Marius' eyes – the greenest eyes he'd ever seen, the eyes that had been his anchor since Marius had dragged him out of hell – looking down at him, his thin mouth smiling as he mumbled, “my Adam”, and it was all Adam could do not to choke out “yours” when he came, biting his lips almost bloody in an effort to stay silent.
For a moment he just stayed like that, sprawled out on his back, his messy hand resting on his thigh, until the sudden impression that he wasn't alone disrupted his afterglow. He opened his eyes just to see a dark figure stepping back from the doorway. Adam almost fell over himself, jumping off the bed even as he pulled his sweatpants up. He switched the light on and grabbed his gun before he rushed back into Marius' room, but all he saw was Marius lying in bed, just where he had been before. Adam frowned and scanned the room in the dim light, wondering if his imagination had played tricks on him, but then he noticed that the dressing gown – previously draped carefully over a chair by the bed – was now lying on the floor, as if it had been dropped in a hurry.
Adam flushed in embarrassment, and grinned just a moment later. He wasn't sure what to do with that knowledge, really, but the fact that Marius was apparently a lot less uninterested than he had seemed to be made him lightheaded. He still checked every corner of the bedroom again just to be sure, as quietly as possible – if Marius was pretending to sleep, Adam would certainly not call him out on it – then sneaked back to his own room. Fell back onto the bed with a breathless laugh. He buried his face in the pillow to muffle the sound and smiled against the soft fabric. Somehow it amused him to no end that Marius looking at him had not only been a fantasy, for what it was worth; it made him feel giddy and cheeky while his brain supplied lots of unhelpful ideas about sneaking into Marius' bed, but he knew better than that. Acting on his fantasies was out of the question, for too many obvious reasons. If Marius ever chose to disregard those reasons and take whatever it was he wanted, Adam would happily submit, but it was not his place to ask for anything that Marius had not offered first. It didn't matter. He was as happy as any man could be, he had more than he could ever have wished for, more than he deserved.
He cleaned himself up lazily, then rolled back onto his side, curled up into a ball with a thin blanket pulled tightly around himself – it was too hot for anything more than that – and closed his eyes again. He was still not sleepy, still too exhilerated from the sudden adrenalin rush and the realisation that, even if Marius hadn't been watching him as such, he had at least seen him for a moment, but knowing himself it probably wouldn't take him long to doze off again, and dream of green eyes and slender fingers and a deep, soothing voice that told him where he belonged.
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no subject
Date: 2013-05-27 11:16 pm (UTC)More masturbation fic, yay. It should exist, tbh. The contrast would be hilarious because Marius would be thinking about Adam bending him over and fucking him hard. ;)
Definitely fairly straight-forward and drama-less. I think young!Marius corrupted Hani thoroughly, got him into drinking and smoking and seducing pretty people. And the way I imagine them, I think Hani was pretty confident about women fairly soon, but rather shy about approaching men ... so Marius usually seduced hot guys for both of them. And since it's forever my headcanon that Marius has a HUGE voyeuristic streak, I think sometimes he just enjoyed watching Hani with some pretty blond guy. And Hani ... I think Hani was a bit ashamed of how much he got off on that. ^^
Marius totally watches Adam with the callboys he sends him, too. Via camera. No respect for other people's privacy at all.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-27 11:24 pm (UTC)I KNOW AND IT HURTS MY SOUL BECAUSE I WANT THE FIC OKAY because holy shitballs Marius knows what Adam likes to do in bed because he freaking watches him do it and aaaaaaaaaaaa
Marius sipping champagne, calm as you like, watching Hani and pretty boys yes pls and thank.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-27 11:26 pm (UTC)Yes, exactly. And still smoking because young!Marius, before his heart problem, smoked as much as Hani still does. Mhmmm, he'd just insist that Hani fucks him too, later. ;D You probably want fic of that, too. ALL THE FICS.
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Date: 2013-05-27 11:34 pm (UTC)You KNOW I want all the fics ;) I should try to write some smut to bribe you with or smth
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Date: 2013-05-27 11:45 pm (UTC)You should definitely write some smut to bribe me into writing more smut. Sounds like a perfect virtuous circle of smut. :D I think the next thing I will write, when I find the time, is Marius and Hani meeting yeaaars after uni and talking and Adam glaring at Hani because a) Hani is too friendly with Marius, and b) Adam is a racist little shit to begin with.
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Date: 2013-05-27 11:56 pm (UTC)oooooh yes this idea is so good <3
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Date: 2013-05-28 12:05 am (UTC)I just love grumpy glaring Adam. Making conversation with Roger, because they'd so make fun of Hani and Roger. "separated at birth, reunited at their tailor's" ;)