Nervous rambling and the end of the writer's block

[linndechir]

Yay! I just finished the first draft of the Dooku/Qui-Gon fic I've been working on. It's a pretty long one-shot, it really reads like a one-shot, but somehow it's just screaming "I need a sequel!" That doesn't matter for the moment, though, first I want to finish this story before I think about a sequel. New fandoms are just incredibly difficult to write, and they make you wrack your brains over every piece of dialogue and every gesture because you don't feel entirely familiar with the characters yet. Every sentence makes you think, "Is this in character? Would he do that? Would he say that? Would he use these words to say it?" Not to mention that I agonised over writing the smut scene, as usual. But most of the work is done, and I don't think it's all that bad. Still needs some more work, though. And a beta reader who can give me some objective feedback. Because I'm so taken with the pairing on one hand, and completely paranoid and insecure about my writing on the other. Not quite sure whom I should ask. Mhm. I'm excited. I'm always excited when something I've written is slowly reaching completion. I'm excited and nervous and I want to ask everyone I know what they think about it because I'm scared of posting it. I always feel like that, and a new fandom just makes me more nervous. Argh.

For those of you who want to hit me right now because I'm "cheating" on my fandom ... Don't worry, I finally have an idea for the next KS-chapter (and the worst thing is, it wasn't even my idea ... how I love all those people who listen to my fanfic babbling and give me ideas ^^). I'm not sure yet how exactly it will work out, but I'm finally motivated again to continue writing. Once my one-shot is done, KS will have me back for the next chapter. Promised.

So. I just had to get this off my chest, because I really spent the past days completely obsessing over this story, and it's always such a relief to have a first version. It makes you feel like the story itself is finished and all you need to do is some revising. Conveniently forgetting that revising is just as difficult. ;) And now that I've stolen some of your time I'm finally going to do my homework for my boring translation class tomorrow. ;)

Comments

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

I didn't dare to ask you because you didn't seem very interested in them, but of course I'd be very grateful for your help. I love your edits. ^^ I want to do some more revising on my own because there are a few things I will definitely change, but I could send it to you in the next days, if you don't mind. I have to warn you, it's quite ... fluffy. ;) I feel too happy at the moment to torture them with loads of angst. Squee, thank you. ^^ I know you're just doing it so I get back to KS as soon as possible. ;) But I can always hope to make you like the pairing, right? ;D Yes, I know, not very likely.

[zigsternenstaub.livejournal.com]

Sure, send it in the next couple of days, or whenever you like. I don't mind fluffy, ha ha. Actually, now I am very curious how you can make Dooku/Qui-Gone fluffy! Neither are really very fluffy people, so while you probably won't convert me to the pairing you have actually managed to intrigue me!

I know you're just doing it so I get back to KS as soon as possible. ;)

I...uh...no. Uh uh. *shifty eyes*

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

I'm just in such a fluffy mood at the moment. ;) And since the few Qui/Dooku fics I've found are about evil!Dooku abusing his poor little padawan I decided that they needed some good fluff. And I disagree, at least Qui can be a quite fluffy person. But maybe that's just too many Qui/Obi fics messing with my perception. And Dooku ... well, we're talking about 40-year-old light side Dooku, not about 80-year-old Sith Dooku. And I somehow imagine that Dooku - a bit like Artemis - is the kind of person who will try to avoid feelings and relationships, but if for some reason they start to care for someone they can be quite nice. Or maybe not nice, just gentle in their own weird way. ;) I can't really explain it, it's just how I see them. And I have to admit that I chose, as usual, to ignore whatever parts of canon that bothered me. You know that I always consider canon my enemy. ;) You'll see. ^^

Of course not, you'd never. ;)

[zigsternenstaub.livejournal.com]

Oh, I realise that this is 40 year old LS Dooku we're talking about, not 80 year old DS Dooku--not that I really see a whole lot of difference, because Dooku was a different sort of person than most Jedi all along--more feeling. As was Qui-Gon. But both were stern, disciplined people at all times, which is where I am sceptical about the fluffy;)

But since there really is no canon for either character at that time, you're free to do whatever you want, really. Don't even mention the Extended Universe. I don't care if there is EU crap for that time period. I fucking hate the EU. It is not canon.

[(Anonymous)]

Being stern and disciplined doesn't mean that they can't be fluffy when they're in private, with the person they love. They wouldn't run off together to spend the rest of their lives watching sunsets on a beach (the image is just disturbing oO), but as long as it doesn't interfere with their duties and their principles ... why shouldn't they be fluffy when they're alone? I managed to make Dantrag and Gromph Baenre fluffy, and they're as unfluffy as you can get. ;)

I'm relieved to hear that from you. I only know that, according to the EU, Qui-Gon respected, but disliked his master and they really didn't care about each other. After reading that I didn't even bother to find out more. So, yes, I just decided to do whatever I want.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

oO For some reason I forgot to log in. That was me, obviously.