FIC: A Substitute for God 1/?
Aug. 19th, 2009 03:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
linndechirTitle: A Substitute for God 1/?
Author:linndechir
Fandom: True Blood
Pairing: Godric/Eric
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1355
Summary: Eric’s tears inspire doubts in Godric.
Author’s Note: Inspired by the huge loophole in canon, and by Eric’s weird little smile. This is how the episode should have ended, imo. I suppose this can be read as a one-shot, but I do intend to continue it. We need to make Godric happy again, after all.
Godric had made Eric. He had hardly left his side for centuries. He had shared every experience, every thought, every feeling with him. He had seen every single emotion on Eric’s face. He thought he knew everything about him.
But in the pale light of the coming dawn, after one thousand shared years, Eric surprised him. In those thousand years Godric had never seen Eric cry.
He had expected the anger, the yelling, the threats. He also had expected Eric to implore him not to do it once he had realised that his anger would achieve nothing.
Godric’s decision was made, it was final. He had drifted towards this moment for the past hundred years. He had prepared himself for death, he had wanted it, welcomed it. No amount of yelling, no argument could make him doubt this decision. Godric felt sorry for his child, but he knew there was nothing he could do for him anymore.
And then Eric did the unexpected. For the first time in a thousand years, he fell to his knees, sobbing and crying like a frightened child. His tears did what neither reason nor anger could have achieved: they planted a seed of doubt in Godric.
He had been convinced that he had lost Eric, a century ago, when they had slowly started to drift apart. When Godric had started to question the value of their immortal existence, while Eric continued to wallow in his maker’s teachings of pleasure and desire. Godric had ended up hating himself for turning Eric into this blood-thirsty fiend, for destroying his humanity, for destroying the man he loved.
Eric had been his last tie to a life he had come to despise. And when Eric had left him, believing that his maker did not want him anymore, death had become more and more appealing.
Godric hadn’t expected to realise that Eric‘s feelings had neither changed nor weakened. He had misinterpreted his loyalty as a vampire’s allegiance to his maker, as a predator’s hope to bring his favourite hunting companion back to his side.
Until now, he had not understood that it had been the desperate, passionate love of one man to another, a love that had nothing to do with blood ties and vampire rules, but only with centuries of faith and love. And while he had never doubted that Eric did love him, in his own way, he had underestimated just how strong that love was.
His mild surprise turned into shock when Eric spoke again.
Eric, his Eric, who loved life more than anything else, was determined to die with him. He would sacrifice what had always been dearest to him rather than lose his maker.
Eric, who loved one thing more than life itself - the man who had given it to him.
Despite his quick response, Godric felt his resolve weakening. Eric’s hair under his fingers, his broken voice, his strong body shaking with sobs, his red-rimmed eyes filled with unspeakable despair. With more pain that Godric could stand to see on his child’s face. Memories and feelings started to stir in his jaded, numb mind, threatening to overpower him. He had to get Eric away from here. He couldn’t let him die, not like this. He would not allow Eric to sacrifice himself.
“As your maker, I command you.”
Words he hadn’t spoken in centuries. Words he had been loathe to utter even when Eric had been a newly made vampire. Words that were his only hope now. One more “please” from Eric’s lips, and he would give in.
A smile touched Godric’s lips when understanding lit Eric’s eyes, understanding that his efforts had been in vain. Eric moved to rise, and the former feeling of peace and relief started to return to Godric, although somehow tainted, like foul blood on his tongue. But it didn’t matter as long as Eric would be safe.
The sun wasn’t up in the sky yet, but the first rays cast a greenish light on Eric’s face. His eyes were wide open. An eyebrow twitched upwards, and then there was the hint of a crooked smile. An accepting, knowing smile.
Godric frowned. Eric would never accept this; even as he had to leave, he would either cry or yell. He wouldn’t smile. A wave of apprehension filled him when Eric slowly rose to his full height, towering over Godric, strangely determined eyes fixed on him.
“You cannot command me anymore once you are gone,” Eric said. His voice was still shaky, but filled with the same resolve as when he had promised that he wouldn’t let Godric die alone. “You can force me to seek shelter tonight. But I swear to you, tomorrow, when you’re gone and your words don’t bind me anymore … I will join you.”
He hardly tried to fight the force of his maker’s order, taking one slow step backwards after the other, but his eyes never left Godric.
And the calm determination on Godric’s face finally wavered. He stretched out his hand, an instinctive gesture to hold him back. Pleading, just like Eric had pleaded.
“Eric, no,” he said, and his voice cracked. He took a deep, unneeded breath. “There comes a time for every son to let go of his father.”
“No son stands by and watches his father die when he can save him. No brother turns away from his sibling. No father abandons his child.” Eric was had almost reached the stairs now, but he was still staring at Godric. “You made me your companion for eternity, you promised to walk through the nights with me until the end of the world. Without you, I neither deserve nor want this life.”
Godric had no answer, no way out. Two thousand years had not prepared him for this. After decades of emptiness he was overwhelmed by pain, fear, and most of all surprise. Surprise that despite their century-long separation Eric was willing to give up the gift he had cherished for a millennium.
“Eric,” Godric said again, weakly. He shook his head, a silent plea not to be cruel, but deep down he knew that it was in vain. Nobody could deter Eric when he had set his mind on something. His maker’s orders could make the path more difficult, but even they could not keep him from reaching his goal.
The sun was slowly creeping up into the sky, the warmth was starting to singe him, and thin smoke rose from Eric’s shoulders when he went down the first steps of the stairs.
“Follow me now, Godric, or I will follow you tomorrow.”
Eric’s voice sounded strangely calm now, as if all of Godric’s inner peace and determination had suddenly been passed on to his child. And yet, there was still pain in his eyes, fear that Godric’s death wish was stronger than their bond. Tears continued to flow freely over the face that had accompanied Godric for almost half his existence.
He could feel the sun rising behind him, calling to him. He wanted to meet the sunrays. He wanted to burn. He wanted to face the punishment he deserved for his sins. He wanted to know if God was so merciful that He could even forgive a vampire.
Eric had gone down the stairs and disappeared inside, but Godric couldn‘t forget the look on his face. He knew that even if lived for another two thousand years, he would always remember Eric’s eyes in this moment. He would never forget what he had seen underneath the pain and the anger and the fear.
A love that was so much part of him that Eric could not live without it, whether he wanted to or not.
Godric could turn his back on the sun, on his hope for redemption and peace. He could not turn his back on the child who needed him. Eric was selfish to keep him alive against his will, but Godric realised only now that his death wish was just as selfish.
He had sworn never to be selfish again. When the sun rose, the roof was deserted.
to be continued
Author:
linndechir Fandom: True Blood
Pairing: Godric/Eric
Rating: PG-13
Words: 1355
Summary: Eric’s tears inspire doubts in Godric.
Author’s Note: Inspired by the huge loophole in canon, and by Eric’s weird little smile. This is how the episode should have ended, imo. I suppose this can be read as a one-shot, but I do intend to continue it. We need to make Godric happy again, after all.
Godric had made Eric. He had hardly left his side for centuries. He had shared every experience, every thought, every feeling with him. He had seen every single emotion on Eric’s face. He thought he knew everything about him.
But in the pale light of the coming dawn, after one thousand shared years, Eric surprised him. In those thousand years Godric had never seen Eric cry.
He had expected the anger, the yelling, the threats. He also had expected Eric to implore him not to do it once he had realised that his anger would achieve nothing.
Godric’s decision was made, it was final. He had drifted towards this moment for the past hundred years. He had prepared himself for death, he had wanted it, welcomed it. No amount of yelling, no argument could make him doubt this decision. Godric felt sorry for his child, but he knew there was nothing he could do for him anymore.
And then Eric did the unexpected. For the first time in a thousand years, he fell to his knees, sobbing and crying like a frightened child. His tears did what neither reason nor anger could have achieved: they planted a seed of doubt in Godric.
He had been convinced that he had lost Eric, a century ago, when they had slowly started to drift apart. When Godric had started to question the value of their immortal existence, while Eric continued to wallow in his maker’s teachings of pleasure and desire. Godric had ended up hating himself for turning Eric into this blood-thirsty fiend, for destroying his humanity, for destroying the man he loved.
Eric had been his last tie to a life he had come to despise. And when Eric had left him, believing that his maker did not want him anymore, death had become more and more appealing.
Godric hadn’t expected to realise that Eric‘s feelings had neither changed nor weakened. He had misinterpreted his loyalty as a vampire’s allegiance to his maker, as a predator’s hope to bring his favourite hunting companion back to his side.
Until now, he had not understood that it had been the desperate, passionate love of one man to another, a love that had nothing to do with blood ties and vampire rules, but only with centuries of faith and love. And while he had never doubted that Eric did love him, in his own way, he had underestimated just how strong that love was.
His mild surprise turned into shock when Eric spoke again.
Eric, his Eric, who loved life more than anything else, was determined to die with him. He would sacrifice what had always been dearest to him rather than lose his maker.
Eric, who loved one thing more than life itself - the man who had given it to him.
Despite his quick response, Godric felt his resolve weakening. Eric’s hair under his fingers, his broken voice, his strong body shaking with sobs, his red-rimmed eyes filled with unspeakable despair. With more pain that Godric could stand to see on his child’s face. Memories and feelings started to stir in his jaded, numb mind, threatening to overpower him. He had to get Eric away from here. He couldn’t let him die, not like this. He would not allow Eric to sacrifice himself.
“As your maker, I command you.”
Words he hadn’t spoken in centuries. Words he had been loathe to utter even when Eric had been a newly made vampire. Words that were his only hope now. One more “please” from Eric’s lips, and he would give in.
A smile touched Godric’s lips when understanding lit Eric’s eyes, understanding that his efforts had been in vain. Eric moved to rise, and the former feeling of peace and relief started to return to Godric, although somehow tainted, like foul blood on his tongue. But it didn’t matter as long as Eric would be safe.
The sun wasn’t up in the sky yet, but the first rays cast a greenish light on Eric’s face. His eyes were wide open. An eyebrow twitched upwards, and then there was the hint of a crooked smile. An accepting, knowing smile.
Godric frowned. Eric would never accept this; even as he had to leave, he would either cry or yell. He wouldn’t smile. A wave of apprehension filled him when Eric slowly rose to his full height, towering over Godric, strangely determined eyes fixed on him.
“You cannot command me anymore once you are gone,” Eric said. His voice was still shaky, but filled with the same resolve as when he had promised that he wouldn’t let Godric die alone. “You can force me to seek shelter tonight. But I swear to you, tomorrow, when you’re gone and your words don’t bind me anymore … I will join you.”
He hardly tried to fight the force of his maker’s order, taking one slow step backwards after the other, but his eyes never left Godric.
And the calm determination on Godric’s face finally wavered. He stretched out his hand, an instinctive gesture to hold him back. Pleading, just like Eric had pleaded.
“Eric, no,” he said, and his voice cracked. He took a deep, unneeded breath. “There comes a time for every son to let go of his father.”
“No son stands by and watches his father die when he can save him. No brother turns away from his sibling. No father abandons his child.” Eric was had almost reached the stairs now, but he was still staring at Godric. “You made me your companion for eternity, you promised to walk through the nights with me until the end of the world. Without you, I neither deserve nor want this life.”
Godric had no answer, no way out. Two thousand years had not prepared him for this. After decades of emptiness he was overwhelmed by pain, fear, and most of all surprise. Surprise that despite their century-long separation Eric was willing to give up the gift he had cherished for a millennium.
“Eric,” Godric said again, weakly. He shook his head, a silent plea not to be cruel, but deep down he knew that it was in vain. Nobody could deter Eric when he had set his mind on something. His maker’s orders could make the path more difficult, but even they could not keep him from reaching his goal.
The sun was slowly creeping up into the sky, the warmth was starting to singe him, and thin smoke rose from Eric’s shoulders when he went down the first steps of the stairs.
“Follow me now, Godric, or I will follow you tomorrow.”
Eric’s voice sounded strangely calm now, as if all of Godric’s inner peace and determination had suddenly been passed on to his child. And yet, there was still pain in his eyes, fear that Godric’s death wish was stronger than their bond. Tears continued to flow freely over the face that had accompanied Godric for almost half his existence.
He could feel the sun rising behind him, calling to him. He wanted to meet the sunrays. He wanted to burn. He wanted to face the punishment he deserved for his sins. He wanted to know if God was so merciful that He could even forgive a vampire.
Eric had gone down the stairs and disappeared inside, but Godric couldn‘t forget the look on his face. He knew that even if lived for another two thousand years, he would always remember Eric’s eyes in this moment. He would never forget what he had seen underneath the pain and the anger and the fear.
A love that was so much part of him that Eric could not live without it, whether he wanted to or not.
Godric could turn his back on the sun, on his hope for redemption and peace. He could not turn his back on the child who needed him. Eric was selfish to keep him alive against his will, but Godric realised only now that his death wish was just as selfish.
He had sworn never to be selfish again. When the sun rose, the roof was deserted.
to be continued
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no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 02:46 am (UTC)And, yes, tragic love story ... just imagine ... young Zaknafein and some (of course extremely hot) soon-to-be priestess, who fall in love, but then she becomes a real priestess and gets all Lolth-crazy and it's all tragic. Or she doesn't, and gets killed, and it's all his fault. Or worse, she's not drow, but some human/elf slave. Or he falls in love and thinks she returns his feelings, but then he finds out she has just been toying with him. The possibilities of absurd crap RAS could write are endless!
You know, the worst thing is ... I wouldn't put it past RAS to write any of that shit I just mentioned.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 05:48 am (UTC)And you're right. I wouldn't put it past RAS. I mean, this is the man who suddenly decided that Catti-Brie was going to be a MAGE. WTF?
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 01:13 pm (UTC)A mage ... that woman has the intelligence of a spoon. Seriously. Not to mention that we're also talking about the man whose characterisation is crap, whose definition of character development is badly written angst, and whose main characters are stupid Sues, while he kills off his cool characters.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-24 05:48 pm (UTC)Intelligence of a spoon! *sporfleLOLgiggle* See, the HUGE problem with the whole scenario is that this is a quite recent development, and in the recent FR timeline Catti-Brie is in her mid to late thirties, and apparently not seeing any difficulties to surmount in taking up a craft that is a lifelong committment, usually begun in early childhood, or at least in one's teenaged years. If significant mention were even MADE of this, I wouldn't mind as much, but...no. It's just 'Oh, she feels like being a mage now.' Thus I say once more, with feeling: WTF.
no subject
Date: 2009-08-25 12:25 am (UTC)That's because CB is SPESHUL! Somebody whose hair colour must be mentioned every two pages is quite capable of becoming a mage in her late thirties. Because, really, who cares about all those nerdy normal mages? Can I please shoot RAS?
Dumb characterisation makes Zak cry
Date: 2009-08-25 03:28 am (UTC)Re: Dumb characterisation makes Zak cry
Date: 2009-08-25 11:23 am (UTC)SPESHUL, yes. Just like Drizzt. That's why Drizzt was almost as good a fighter as Zak even before he left to the Academy, right? And why he could defeat Dantrag, who should have kicked his ass in 3 minutes. -.-
Re: Dumb characterisation makes Zak cry
Date: 2009-08-25 11:51 pm (UTC)Heh. I think you're a little biased when it comes to Dantrag. Age and experience doesn't always equal victory, and Drizzt had a lot of battle experience with creatures other than drow by then, so I see how he could have thought outside the box to defeat him. However, the thing with Zak is just...absurd. Come on. I mean, thankfully he never defeated Zak, but what the hell??? The being almost as good before he even went to the Academy is just another example of Drizzt being RAS's Sue.
More tears.
Re: Dumb characterisation makes Zak cry
Date: 2009-08-26 07:12 pm (UTC)You're just not interested in Dantrag, but let's be realistical. Underdark or not, Drizzt was still rather young at that point. there is no canon information if Dantrag was better than Zaknafein or not (except Drizzt's bitching, but I don't count that), but even if he was less capable than Zak, Dantrag was still several levels higher than Drizzt. And he must have had a bunch of battle experience with other creatures as well - you don't get to be (second-)best fighter of Menzo just by fighting drow. And deep down, RAS knew that there was no reason why Drizzt should defeat Dantrag. So he came up with that stupid speed-bracers thing. C'mon? Dantrag is several centuries old and he's had those bracers for quite a while. He is arrogant, yes, but not too arrogant not to notice that those bracers have disadvantages as well. If he had problems controlling his speed (and, as a roleplayer, I'm a bit bitchy about this, because according to the rules, he shouldn't have any problems), he would have noticed them much earlier and found a way to deal with them. He wouldn't have been surprised, suddenly, during that fight with Drizzt, that those bracers also have disadvantages. No way. Sure, Drizzt was a more challenging opponent than most people Dantrag usually sparred with, but whatever RAS wants us to believe, Drizzt is not so exceptional that there are no other fighters his level around, fighters with whom Dantrag no doubt sparred at the Academy. It's just so absurd. Such a cliché, "the hero wins the impossible battle by turning the villain's advantage into a disadvantage", also known as "My Sue is doomed, I'm going to screw the rules as well as common sense to make him survive and save the day anyway!"
Sorry for the rambling. ;)