Basterds Ficlet, or: What is Hellstrom doing in my homework?

[linndechir]

Author's note: I had this really weird assignment for one of my literature classes: we were supposed to write the first page of a novel. About just anything we want. Now usually I can't write like that, but this time Hellstrom just took over my head and I wrote ... about him. Now obviously I didn't mention his name or anything, but every Basterds fan will recognise Major Creeper in this. I'd feel tempted to continue this if I had the slightest idea what was going to happen next. If you have any ideas, let me know. So, yes, while this is not fanfiction in the strictest sense, it is in fact about Major Hellstrom, so I thought people might want to read it.

---------------

Thin fingers pushed up the sleeve of his coat, pale blue eyes glanced at his watch for the first time. His contact was two minutes late.

Nothing unusual about that. It could happen, even to the most reliable people. None of his colleagues would even waste a thought on this.

But the Colonel wouldn’t have sent him, his best man, if this were a situation one of his colleagues could deal with. And he had been long enough in this line of work to trust his instincts - something was amiss.

He was still relaxed, though. He felt the comforting weight of his twin guns in the shoulder-holsters, hidden under his coat, but they were not the reason for his calm. Although he was an excellent shot, he had hardly killed anyone in all these years. At least not personally. He had always relied more on his brain than on his admittedly quick hands. It was more efficient. More cultivated, too. Shooting people made such a mess, it was a task better left to soldiers.

He leant back on the bench, breathing in the fresh spring air. Fumbled for his cigarettes, lit one, and flipped the match to the ground. Took a greedy drag on the cigarette as if he hadn’t had one in days, although the last one had been less than an hour ago. The Colonel always said that he smoked too much. The old dog would look almost concerned then, as if he cared about his well-being. A snort. That manipulative bastard didn’t know any more about affection and caring than he himself did; he simply didn’t want to lose his best man.

Five minutes. The cigarette stub was dropped to the ground and crushed beneath a boot heel. Five minutes late. Still within the limits of the acceptable, but bordering on the unusual. People knew better than to be late when dealing with the Colonel.

He sighed. He could be a very patient man, but he hated inaction. The sun had already set before he had arrived, and it was getting cold. Mothers with their children and young couples in summer clothes quickly left the park, laughing, talking, playing. Normal people. A sneer.

He lit another cigarette. He was getting annoyed. Damn it, he wasn’t some messenger boy one could keep waiting in the cold. That contact better had a good excuse when he arrived, or else he would make sure that this scum would meet his less sophisticated colleagues. The ones who thought whips were an appropriate means of communication. His lips curled in disdain. Brutes, but they had their uses.

His eyes darted around, but he didn’t notice anything suspicious. The contact was supposed to find him, not the other way around. The rendezvous point had been unambiguous, there could be no misunderstanding.

Fifteen minutes. The third cigarette. As the stub joined its two brothers on the ground, he got up. He had waited long enough. Nobody was fifteen minutes late on a meeting set up by the Colonel. It meant that things weren’t amiss.

They were really fucked up.

Comments

[mezzafredda.livejournal.com]

Well well well
First of all - you know I love it. Yes. I love the wording and the characterization, so apt and vivid. And yes, a fifteen minutes' wait out in the cold can be most frustrating. Then, finally, the ending note made me giggle a bit, it was kind of unexpected. Well-done, I say. <3

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D Nobody keeps Hellstrom waiting for fifteen minutes and gets away with it. ;)
I know the last line is a bit unexpected, but I felt it just fit. Every other wording would have sounded stilted, imo. ;) Thanks again. ^^

Your icon? ... guh ... *drools*

[acidpenguin46.livejournal.com]

I really liked this. It is very clearly about Hellstrom (your characterisation is spot-on), and I'm not going to lie, I was reading Landa/Hellstrom into it. Do you see what you have done to me, I'm seeing it everywhere now. ;p Also, I think you would be able to post it around on the comms, just because it is so clear that it is Hellstrom who you are talking about.

In other news, if you wanted to continue it, you could always have Landa blame Hellstrom for the contact not showing up. Landa doesn't really think it's Dieter's fault, of course. He's just frustrated because this contact had vital information, and now they may never find out what that information was.

Dieter, however, thinks that Landa is angry at him, and is oh so eager to make it up to him. He doesn't want to disappoint his... Colonel, after all.

It's just a thought.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you for commenting! :D I couldn't help it, Hellstrom just made me write this. It basically wrote itself. Uncensored Hellstrom-thoughts. ;) And there was definitely Landa/Hellstrom in this, it's not just your dirty mind. Somehow I relish the thought of handing this in to my teacher without him knowing that I'm writing about two ruthless, creepy nazis who are doing each other. Yes, my life is pathetic if these are my only pleasures. ;) I guess I will post it in the comms, after all; there can never be too much Hellstrom.

Thanks for your suggestions, but I don't think I will continue this. Unless it's really just about Landa and Hellstrom bitching at each other because the contact didn't show up. But apart from that ... I just suck at coming up with good plots. I have no idea why Dieter was waiting for that contact, nor why the contact didn't show up. I'm a characterisation person, not a plot person. Although I do like the idea of mock-angry!Landa and eager-to-make-it-up-to-him!Hellstrom. ;)

[acidpenguin46.livejournal.com]

The words "too much Hellstrom" do not compute. ;) Especially when you throw Landa into the mix as well. Also, subversive slash for the win!

And as for this not being continued, that's cool. It works just as good as a standalone, anyway. My mind is just seeing the potential for smut in almost anything at the moment. :D

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Stupid fandom is neglecting them and writing about Donny/Uti instead. [insert rant about why we need less of this stupid pairing and more about the really interesting characters] Subversive slash is fuuuun! :D

I understand, I see smut everywhere as well. I'll see if I'm inspired or not. But I like it the way it is, I think. Oh, I just realised that I still have to write part 3 of La musica delle parole. Help! Real life, go away!

[acidpenguin46.livejournal.com]

*scalps real life for you* There. Now you can write part 3. ;p

I've said it before, but I just do not understand the fandom's obsession with that pairing. Hell, I'd prefer to read Donny/Ulmer than that. And a big hell yeah to more fic about the interesting characters. I don't even just mean Hellstrom or Landa, either. There's Shosanna, Wicki, Stiglitz, Hicox, and a whole host of other characters that could be written about it. The whole situation is just perplexing.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you. :) *tries to sort through too many fic ideas*

I found the first Donny/Uti fics okay - not amazing, but it was just one pairing among many, and I didn't mind. But I have no idea why they have become half the fandom's OTP. They may be cute for a scene or two, but nothing more. Right after seeing Basterds I was thinking, "Oh God, so many wonderful characters and possible ships, I don't even know where to start, and this fandom is probably going to explode with different pairings." I was young and naive. ;) And while I am utterly fascinated by Landa/Hellstrom, maybe to the point where some people are wishing I'd finally write something else, I do at least plan to write about other characters as well. I even wrote Aldo/Hugo at some point, and I have some ideas for Landa/Zoller, Landa/Hicox, and Hellstrom/Wicki (yes). I just feel very alone sometimes. ;)

(And, yes, where's all the Stiglitz love? I expected Aldo/Hugo to become one of the OTPs of the fandom. oO)

[acidpenguin46.livejournal.com]

I have to say, Landa/Zoller sounds very intriguing. As does Hellstrom/Wicki (if for nothing more than the combined finger and voice porn.) To be honest, after seeing it for the first time I didn't really feel like shipping anyone. I just wanted to write dark, introspective Shosanna fic about the years between her family being slaughtered and 1944. It wasn't until subsequent viewings that I decided that this entire cast of characters needs to have a giant orgy. ;p

I may have to give Stiglitz some love eventually. Writing for an unapologetic psychopath is just too much fun to avoid writing for too long.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Landa/Zoller needs to be written - after Zoller's stunt in the café, Landa needs to remind him of his place ... of course, I can't help but sneak Hellstrom in there as well, which turns it into the possibly hottest Basterds threesome. ;) I only just realised that there's one problem with my pre-war-Hellstrom/Wicki-idea - they would have recognised each other in the basement. Unless, of course, they both changed so much that they didn't recognise each other (Hellstrom from a pretty, cute student to a smarmy SS-officer who uses too much pomade, and Wicki probably looked a lot less cleaner back then, not to mention that Hellstrom would never expect to see him back in Europe).
Shosanna is one of the few characters that really don't interest me the tiniest bit. At least I don't hate her. That's something for a female character. And I shipped pretty much everything from the beginning on - too many hot men in uniforms and boots, guh! This movie is a slasher's delight. ;)

An unapologetic psychopath who must have a very interesting background, no less. He needs more love. Although my Hugo is such a big nice guy, all tough on the outside and very vulnerable on the inside. Probably because I ship Hellstrom/Stiglitz. ;)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Thank you! There will be more long porny fics, don't worry. I'm just swamped with university stuff right now. But yes, we need more Hellstrom, and I'm doing my best. :)

[zoi-no-miko.livejournal.com]

I would for reals read this book. Very nice work.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D Now if I had any talent for coming up with plots, I might just write it. But since I suck at everything but characterisation, it's unlikely. ;)

[zoi-no-miko.livejournal.com]

Aww, I hear you there. <3

I suck at everything but porn :p so at least you're still one step ahead of me.
HAHAHA.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :D Yeah, the assignment was nice. Before you get too jealous, let me tell you that the class and the homework are boring most of the time. ;) This time I just couldn't spell everything out, but I'm glad that worked out. I couldn't very well tell my teacher, "My scene is about two ruthless, sadistic nazis who also happen to have wild sex with each other." :D I want to pass the class, you know? ;)

[ziggygurl.livejournal.com]

First off: I do this, too. I just wrote a poem about Hellstrom and turned it in for a creative writing assignment (and they thought it was about rain boots...maybe a little too obscure).

Second: I love the way you characterize Hellstrom. It's so perfect and I can't wait to read your Hellstrom/Landa now.

♥

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

First - it just happened. I'll see that teacher again tomorrow, I'm quite curious what he'll say.

Second - thanks so much! Glad you like my Dieterchen. ;) Can't wait to hear what you think about the other fics. :)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Oh, and - show me that poem please? ;)

[ziggygurl.livejournal.com]

I'm curious, too!

You're welcome. =)

And I'll pm you the poem so I won't clog up your posts. Haha.

♥