NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!!!!!

[linndechir]

This is getting fucking frustrating! Everyone around me is posting their Hanukkah fics, and my stupid fic still refuses to get written. Even the first draft isn't finished, because whenever I try to work on it, it gets more fucked up. First, I made the participating characters even more insane than they already are. Then, I decided to use flashbacks - I HATE flashbacks, I've never written any because I hate reading them, but my brainless fic idea only works with flashbacks. And as if all that wasn't bad enough, one of my characters suddenly started quoting Hegel. WHAT THE FUCK??? I'm not even writing about Landa, for God's sake! I'm starting to think that I should delete the whole thing and start anew, but I have honestly no better idea for the prompt I was given than the one I'm using now. It's actually a good idea, I think, except that it's so weird that it only makes sense in my brain, but not when I write it. Whatever, I'll just pretend my lack of sense and clarity is artistic and mysterious and complex. Or something. I just want to write something better than pointless porn with the pairing and the kinks my giftee asked for. :(
The worst thing is that I waited so long to write this because when I came up with this idea weeks ago, I was sure that I could easily write it down in two days, and voilà. But, no, everything always turns out to be ten times more complicated.
Why the fuck is he quoting Hegel? Seriously, Hegel? In bed? Not even IB characters should be so fucked up that they start lecturing their partner on philosophy and freedom during sex. *smashes head against the wall*

Comments

[septemberoses.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think it sounds like you're too smart. Hear me out: you know a lot of things, and as a writer you have to decide whether just because you know something, and it's perfect for the fic, it's appropriate. I'm constantly writing things in and then taking them out.

Also, I wonder whether you're just essentially unhappy with the assignment (porn featuring two characters you don't care about?) If the fic is a "job" then why not get it over with as quickly as possible, within the parameters that your porn-hungry giftee desires? I'll just take a stab that the request didn't include anything highbrow :)

Fic requests, even if I volunteered, are so hard I'm basically not doing it any more. Even things I *want* to write experience some sort of kiss of death when I feel obligated to write them.

I am sure this helps not one bit.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Happy to hear from you again! I was actually going to ask you to beta read it once it's done, if you don't mind. ;)

The problem is not that I think it's inappropriate for the situation or the character. Strangely enough, I think it's extremely fitting (and it's not like I wrote it to show everyone my pretty quote ;)). I was just surprised because I didn't expect this to happen, I didn't expect him to say anything even remotely profound in that situation. Ah, I don't know. I was just weirded out by myself. One of these "WTF what are my characters doing?"-moments, I'm sure you know what I mean.

The problem is that the giftee doesn't want brainless porn. She did ask for a pairing and certain kinks, but I don't think she just wants these characters to have quick sex in a corner and get it over with. I'm not unhappy with the assignment, I'm unhappy with my way of handling it. Mhm, I'll just force myself to write something tomorrow, and then see how I can polish that draft. (Except that I wanted to write at least the first draft yesterday and today, and failed.)

I find it incredibly difficult to write for prompts as well, which is why I usually don't do it. In this case, though, it was a prompt exchange, and I thought that writing a fic for someone else wasn't so bad if it meant getting a fic I wanted written. :)