Too many stupid Landa/Hellstrom-ideas for one day

[linndechir]

I thought I had an idea for a Landa/Hellstrom-fic. But then I realised that I just want them to quote Schiller to each other in bed. And I haven’t even reread Don Karlos in ages. You can see that something is seriously wrong with my creativity when all I can come up with is have two Nazis quote gorgeous German literature to each other. And reading Musil’s Die Verwirrungen des Zöglings Törleß (The Confusions of Young Torless) gives me the crazy urge to write about teenage!Landa in an Austro-Hungarian boarding school. Or write about Landa and Hellstrom having some crazy discussion about why Landa is so very Austrian and why that annoys the hell out of Dieter (who is, let's face it, easily annoyed). What on Earth? Reading books is so not good for me, apparently. ;) But don't you just see that? The epic Austrian vs. Prussian bitching? Okay, I'm probably the only person who could get excited about something like that.
So, I’m still excited about the second blackwoodcoward  fic exchange. All those gorgeous fics coming up in a month! I love this fandom - it‘s tiny, but it has more really, REALLY great writers than most big fandoms. I just don’t like the prompt I’m supposed to write, it’s rather similar to something I already did before in some other fic I wrote, and it does nothing to make me want to write again. But I’m a good girl, and I will probably come up with something soon. I shouldn’t complain, I just felt kinda disappointed when I read the prompt, and I needed to whine a little. I had hoped for something that would make me think, “Wow, this is epic, my writer's block is gone, I can’t wait to start working on this!” and not “oh, okay, sure, I wouldn’t want to disappoint my giftee”.

Maybe I should really write pretentious literature fic about Landa and Hellstrom just to remember when writing feels like. It would probably be even more snobby than the pretentious music fic I wrote about them. Am I the only one who thinks that Cal Lightman would have a field day with Landa? Don’t worry, I won’t write crazy crossover fic. No, really, I miss Hellstrom, I miss his dysfunctional relationship with Landa, I miss their pretentious intellectuality, their mindfucking, their wonderfully understated love for each other, the kind of love that still wouldn’t keep them from shooting each other if they could get away with it, except that they would be so very bored without each other. I miss Hellstrom’s half-hateful admiration for Landa, and Landa’s reluctant fascination with Hellstrom … I just miss them. If only I knew what to do with them. Other than have them discuss literature in bed. ;)

Anyway, I should focus on my fic for the fic exchange, instead of looking for supposedly legitimate ways of procrastinating. ;)

Comments

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

I agree with you about Jude Law. But his must always be a porn 'stache.

Oh, yes, I remember that fic. My dear, that hardly qualifies as even "pseudo" het-fic since the female is made so obviously an object of utter distaste for both men.

I find femslash completely unsexy. It just has no appeal to me at all, even though I've slept with women. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I just outright dislike or have absolutely no respect for most women in general because they annoy me to no end. Working with women is far worse than working with men, because they can be so petty and so needlessly competitive, and I hate getting pulled into the stupid games they play. I therefore tend to choose my women friends rather carefully, both offline and online!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Obviously. ^^

I know. That's why I said "pseudo"-het. Because technically a man kissing a woman is het, even if he doesn't want to kiss her. What else would it be? Slash because he wishes the woman were a man? Nah. :P Whatever, I'm not going to argue with you about this. It's not like I'm even trying to pretend I like het. Although I did find another fascinating het-pairing (Booth/Bones), probably because she's the most interesting female character I've ever run across. Or because she's like me, I don't know. I still don't want porn for them, but for once in my life I'd actually want them to get together in canon.

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

Yes, you are indeed one of the chosen ones. ;-)

That was a bizarrely amusing fic, with poor Coward not knowing what to do with this far-too-fleshy-and-soft "thing"his beloved Lord and Master has presented to him.

BTW, I finally saw Sherlock Holmes and it is the slashiest film EVER without being openly so (although it came very, very close). I knew they would be, but can Jude Law & RDJ be any more perfect together? And the whole obvious beard of Watson's fiancee--I laughed my head off every time she put in an appearance. And the pairing of Blackwood/Coward? Unbelievably perfect, especially at the end when Coward is gazing lovingly up at his Lord & Master. What a delightful film!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Huh, chosen ones?

It amused me an awful lot while I was writing it. I felt really sorry for poor lil Coward - not to mention that I have a thing for oblivious Blackwood. ;)

Glad you finally got around to watching it! :D I told you it was pure slash. ^^ I was so annoyed by the women/beards in the movie. *sigh* And I think Coward staring at Blackwood is what made me ship them.

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

By "chosen ones" I meant you are one of the few women I find interesting and intelligent and thereby choose to befriend. Isn't that terrible? I shouldn't be so sexist, should I? But I just can't be politically correct. After living with and working and friending with women for more than 40 years and finding them three times as difficult as men I've become very picky!!

Omigod, Sherlock Holmes is absolutely pure, unadulterated slash. My friend Mark did a blog about the increased slashiness in modern entertainment and I told him he absolutely had to see this film. He said he hadn't and would torrent it immediately. BTW, I seem to be gaining more and more gay fans of my slash fanfics, which is always flattering, to say the least. If a gay guy finds it hot, it must be realistic enough! Mark said he read my Hicox/Hellstrom fic with his "evening cocoa" and enjoyed it thoroughly.

OMFG Blackwood/Coward. Again, unbelievably perfect, ESPECIALLY with Coward's loving gaze at Blackwood at the end. There's just no question these two are a couple. In fact, I was sorry to see Blackwood die at the end, but I suppose that's to make room for Moriarty in the sequel. Maybe Mark can come back as Moriarty and he and Coward can be reunited. In the meantime I will be reading more Blackwood/Coward fics... ;-)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

I feel so honoured. ;) I have actually more female than male friends, despite the fact that I get along better with men than with women in general. I suppose it's due to the fact that I just meet a lot more women than men, so there are just fewer men I get to know closely in my everyday life.

Sure, that is flattering. Then again, I'm not sure if I care much about whether gay men would like my fanfics or not. I mean, we all know that the majority of slash writers (in fandom) are women, as are most readers. Of course we try to get things mostly right and not write complete and utter bullshit (both anatomically/sexually and emotionally, i.e. no grown-up men behaving like teenage girls). And yet I don't think I'd give more credit to a gay man's review than to a woman's. Just like, if I wrote het, I couldn't care less about another woman (or straight man) telling me that, in their experience, this or that is unrealistic, if it does make sense to me. That probably doesn't make any sense right now, does it? I should really stop writing comments in the middle of the night.

Well, there is a community for that, if you want more. It's, obviously, called blackwoodcoward. ;) The fandom has an absurd number of amazing writers and amazing fics, and since there is a fic exchange going on right now there were lots of new fics posted in the past weeks. You shouldn't have any trouble finding great fic. I don't think I've read a single bad fic in this fandom. Sure, not all of them were OMFG!AMAZING, but they were all pretty good.

Btw, love your icon. It's a new one, no?

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

The icon was just posted yesterday by Clautophobia. She posted a whole new set of IB icons at Operation Kino, several of which were more inventive than what's already out there. This one was my favorite, but then there can never be enough Dieterchen or Hellstrom icons as far as I'm concerned.

For the first time in many, many years I now have more women friends than men friends, and I partly credit it to all the people I've met through IB. I can easily that all my life I've been looking for clever, witty, interesting women to befriend, and it's interesting that I've found so many on-line. Although I haven't counted all my male friends at Facebook, who are either gay writers and artists or people I've met through political pages there. As far as I know I only have three male friends at LiveJournal, whereas the distribution is probably more equal on Facebook. But I go to each for very different reasons,

Oh, I've never worried about whether gay men would like my fics or find them authentic, per se. I've got a collection of gay erotica that includes works that go back to the 1920s. And I definitely don't give more credit to the opinion of a gay man over that of a woman. But it is definitely flattering, especially when the praise comes from published authors. What I do find myself paying attention to is the accuracy of other people's slash if they go into any detail. Like the dozens of fics that include instant penetration without any lube. Mark actually wrote a great blog about this years ago, remarking not only about literature but also about TV & films ("Do these people really understand how difficult it can be to penetrate an arse? It doesn't just instantly happen...") I've never had anyone criticize my fics (gay or het) for inaccuracy, but I have had some praise from women specifically for my accuracy, especially when it comes to my BDSM scenes.

But if someone majorly screws up--like not knowing the location of the prostate or other things that I do know, I'll notice it big time because it just jumps out at me and can ruin a story.

I will definitely be checking out blackwoodcoward!!!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Okay, I just had a look at those icons, they're really nice. But the one you used is definitely the best, I love it. I'm considering replaying my current Hellstrom icon.

I agree with you on that, accuracy is important, and inaccuracy can really put me off a fic. But some things are really a matter of fact), and others that differ from person to person and can't be generalised. Blabla, whatever, let's stop repeating the obvious. ;)

I think what bothers me most in smut fic is absurd/hilarious descriptions of orgasms. Explosions and stars and I don't know what. I always feel sorry for those poor exploding people. ;)

So, did you have a look at blackwoodcoward? I just about worship that comm and its members.

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

This was one of the better new collections of IB icons I'd seen in some time, but the Hellstrom one is most definitely the best! Although I've always loved your HELL strom icon.

Oh, but orgasms are so frigging difficult to describe!!! I mean, how does one describe something that feels like an almost, almost, almost, almost, ALMOSTTTT---There. At Last. And sometimes they can be rather explosive and it feels as though you've lost your head (which you have). The stars part though--WTF? It's not so much the actual orgasm but the build-up to it that needs the most attention paid. I can usually tell the level of a writer's sexual experience when I get a simple sentence like "after her multiple orgasms he finished off inside her." Yes, I've actually read that sentence--I know, yikes! Sometimes I wonder if some of the more virginal writers out there haven't even had orgasms from masturbation.

Not only did I look at blackwoodcoward, I joined it. ;-D

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I like it too, but I prefer the pictures used on your icon. Mhm. Difficult choice.

Sex scenes in general are difficult to describe. But I'd rather NOT read smut than read about people exploding. I don't care how "explosive" an orgasm is - if I read about anyone or anything exploding, I imagine little pieces of blood and flesh all over the bedroom wall, and that's just disgusting.

Glad to hear it. ^^ So I take it you found fics you like?