Too many stupid Landa/Hellstrom-ideas for one day

[linndechir]

I thought I had an idea for a Landa/Hellstrom-fic. But then I realised that I just want them to quote Schiller to each other in bed. And I haven’t even reread Don Karlos in ages. You can see that something is seriously wrong with my creativity when all I can come up with is have two Nazis quote gorgeous German literature to each other. And reading Musil’s Die Verwirrungen des Zöglings Törleß (The Confusions of Young Torless) gives me the crazy urge to write about teenage!Landa in an Austro-Hungarian boarding school. Or write about Landa and Hellstrom having some crazy discussion about why Landa is so very Austrian and why that annoys the hell out of Dieter (who is, let's face it, easily annoyed). What on Earth? Reading books is so not good for me, apparently. ;) But don't you just see that? The epic Austrian vs. Prussian bitching? Okay, I'm probably the only person who could get excited about something like that.
So, I’m still excited about the second blackwoodcoward  fic exchange. All those gorgeous fics coming up in a month! I love this fandom - it‘s tiny, but it has more really, REALLY great writers than most big fandoms. I just don’t like the prompt I’m supposed to write, it’s rather similar to something I already did before in some other fic I wrote, and it does nothing to make me want to write again. But I’m a good girl, and I will probably come up with something soon. I shouldn’t complain, I just felt kinda disappointed when I read the prompt, and I needed to whine a little. I had hoped for something that would make me think, “Wow, this is epic, my writer's block is gone, I can’t wait to start working on this!” and not “oh, okay, sure, I wouldn’t want to disappoint my giftee”.

Maybe I should really write pretentious literature fic about Landa and Hellstrom just to remember when writing feels like. It would probably be even more snobby than the pretentious music fic I wrote about them. Am I the only one who thinks that Cal Lightman would have a field day with Landa? Don’t worry, I won’t write crazy crossover fic. No, really, I miss Hellstrom, I miss his dysfunctional relationship with Landa, I miss their pretentious intellectuality, their mindfucking, their wonderfully understated love for each other, the kind of love that still wouldn’t keep them from shooting each other if they could get away with it, except that they would be so very bored without each other. I miss Hellstrom’s half-hateful admiration for Landa, and Landa’s reluctant fascination with Hellstrom … I just miss them. If only I knew what to do with them. Other than have them discuss literature in bed. ;)

Anyway, I should focus on my fic for the fic exchange, instead of looking for supposedly legitimate ways of procrastinating. ;)

Comments

[zoi-no-miko.livejournal.com]

... there is NOTHING wrong with two madly sexy powerful men quoting gorgeous literature in bed. :D

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

True, true. But while having them quote intellectual stuff in bed is definitely okay (like I did with Hellstrom and Hegel once ;)), writing a fic JUST to have them quote some line you can't get out of your head ... it's a bit uncreative. ;)

Dieterchen approves of Landa and his blueberry. ^^

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

Oh, just write the bloody thing. I remember when you were all angsty over Hellstrom quoting Hegel and the end result worked beautifully. So please, do write this fic and have them quote Schiller to each other while in the throes of passion.

P.S.: I don't know about you, but I am VERY PISSED at the last True Blood episode. Except for Russell, who is truly awesome beyond belief.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but at least Hellstrom quoted Hegel for a reason. Fortunately, though, I finally came up with a reason for him to quote Schiller, so things might just work out. However, the quoting will happen after the passion. ;)
(Now I just have to figure out a way to have Landa read Baudelaire to Hellstrom... but I believe the world couldn't take the beauty of Hans Landa reading Baudelaire.)

Obviously I'm pissed off. How COULD they kill Franklin? Or rather: how could they kill him so early and so soon? If they had killed him after three amazing seasons, okay, but this? Godric's death made me sad, Franklin's just made me angry. And getting killed by Jason, of all people ... how much more humiliating can it be? *grumble*
Still adore Russell ("And now for the weather. Tiffany?"), although I think they overdid his insanity a bit. I really loved what they did with Eric and Pam - their relationship is really well done.
Btw, thanks for the pictures you sent to me. I liked them very much. :)

[serpentsign.livejournal.com]

All the Landa/Hellstrom stuff/ideas/rant sounds awesome to me, even though I'm not into that pairing/fandom...Mmm over pretentious literature fic, I do like the sound of that...

I just got my promt as well and I'm very happy with it, makes my sad excuse for a promt look very un-inspiring *cries in a corner*. But I'm sure you can make awesome stuff happen with whatever promt you got, 'cuz you're an amazing writer and all <3

Landa and Lightman? HAHAHAHROFLomg the situations they would end up in *tries to breath*

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

How can you NOT be into Landa/Hellstrom? :D They're one of the most amazing pairings ever. And they actually have a few things in common with Blackwood/Coward. In a way. ;)

I'm glad you like your prompt. And thanks for your encouraging words. ^^ Sure I'll manage to write something that's okay, but something awesome? Not really. :/ Oh, whatever, I should swallow my disappointment and stop whining. ^^

It would be utterly hilarious. They'd find out NOTHING about each other. ^^

[serpentsign.livejournal.com]

I know, it's bizarre, I think it was because I just didn't adore the movie when I first saw it, I'll watch it again with my slash googles and then yeah, maybe ^^

Well, I'm always impressed by your writing so it'll be great ^^

*has images of Landa and Laightman in a restaurant, really trying to get to know eachother but ending up with nothing after a long discussion of...milk or whatever...*

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Landa and Hellstrom dno't really have any slashy scenes together (unless you count arrogant Hellstrom jumping up immediately when Landa enters the room, showing him more respect than he shows Goebbels himself). But their characters are somewhat similar and yet different enough to make the pairing fascinating. Well, to me at least. :D You should definitely rewatch it with slash googles. That movie has insanely many possible pairings.

Thank you again for so much confidence! :D

[viceindustrious.livejournal.com]

That kind of fic is one of my favourite kinds of fic. Just write it! :D Man, that sounds like hella fun (pun! ._.)

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Really? Not sure if you're interested in IB-fandom, but if you do like that kind of fic you might enjoy the pretentious music geekery (http://linndechir.livejournal.com/15312.html) fic I mentioned. Shameless self-advertisement, yay. ;)

[viceindustrious.livejournal.com]

Shameless self-advertisement woot! :D Cool, I will check it out, thanks for the link.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

It's actually part two of a fic in five parts, but the others aren't geeky. ;) Hope you'll like it.

[unsettledink.livejournal.com]

I am ALL FOR the pretentious quoting of non english lit. ALL FOR IT. And it's not even my fandom. But man, if you managed to write some for B/C too, I would be insane happy.

Aww, prompt. Well, maybe you can twist it somehow.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

I also enjoy quoting English lit (I don't even have to translate that, which is rather practical), but I thought German literature was more fitting for these two. ;) I can't remember, have you even seen IB?

Pretentious literature fic for B/C? I don't have an idea for that right now, but it might pop up next time I read a book that reminds me of them. ;)

I had a long 5am-chat with serpentsign this morning, which gave me a few ideas for my prompt. I'm still whiny, but don't worry, I'll come up with something. :D

[unsettledink.livejournal.com]

Arrgg jealous of language skillz. :)

No, actually I haven't seen it yet.

I just have visions of Blackwood reading something to Coward, but I have no idea *what* it would be.

5am chats - are awesome. Agreed. I've been having some of those lately too. Not like I need fifty more fic ideas, but hey! it's cool.

[crushakitty.livejournal.com]

I just love your Landa/Hellstrom fics more than I can say!! Please write more!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for the encouragement! I'll see what I can do. I actually have written something, but now I have no idea how to finish it. We'll see where this is going. :)

[machiavelli-imp.livejournal.com]

But don't you just see that? The epic Austrian vs. Prussian bitching?
SQUEEEEEEEE! Please write that, it would be beyond awesome. Those two can even make discussing potatoes* sexy. Petulant Dieter makes me happy for some reason, especially when combined with sexually frustrated, morally ambiguous Landa.
* I was reading a Viennese cookery book yesterday and the author spewed out a page on why the use of 'Kartoffel' on any menu in Vienna was an insult to Austrian culture and linguistics. It made me think of Landa.

I just don’t like the prompt I’m supposed to write, it’s rather similar to something I already did before in some other fic I wrote, and it does nothing to make me want to write again.
It's refreshing to know that I'm not the only one suffering from this sort of writer's block. I rashly signed up for a 13-prompt short fic exchange a number of...months...ago (*grins shamefully*) and have writer's block at prompt 6. No new fic has come out with the pairing that makes me inspired to revisit that fandom. Which is surely better than having excellent fic coming out of one's ears and wondering why the writer's block doesn't affect anyone else.

No, really, I miss Hellstrom, I miss his dysfunctional relationship with Landa, I miss their pretentious intellectuality, their mindfucking, their wonderfully understated love for each other, the kind of love that still wouldn’t keep them from shooting each other if they could get away with it, except that they would be so very bored without each other. If only I knew what to do with them. Other than have them discuss literature in bed. ;)
Your readers are less discerning than yourself and would be quite happy to have them quote obscure German literature to each other in bed. (Or in the office, or on a stakeout in a muddy field, or even in a tank if Hellstrom somehow contrived to shut Landa in one for a moment's peace.)

Am I the only one who thinks that Cal Lightman would have a field day with Landa? Don’t worry, I won’t write crazy crossover fic.
The Australian ads for that show have a narrator with a disturbing tendency to pronounce "Lightmann" as "Eichmann." (Honestly!) There's crazy crossover fic for you...

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

I was reading a Viennese cookery book yesterday and the author spewed out a page on why the use of 'Kartoffel' on any menu in Vienna was an insult to Austrian culture and linguistics. It made me think of Landa.
Haha, I know. My brother lived in Vienna for half a year and told me quite a few things about those wonderful vocabulary differences between German German and Austrian German. I have to admit that when I visited him, I was sometimes rather confused by things I read on the menu in restaurants.
Landa and Hellstrom arguing about food terminology must be hilarious. Especially when they're in Vienna and Landa lectures him and tells him how Hellstrom is wearing a big sign saying "Piefke" on his head if he says stuff like "Kartoffel".

Petulant Dieter makes me happy for some reason, especially when combined with sexually frustrated, morally ambiguous Landa.
Just reading that makes me squeal. ;)

It's refreshing to know that I'm not the only one suffering from this sort of writer's block.
Don't worry, I'm having the biggest writer's block of my life. I haven't written a single line of fic since May, I believe. Inspiration is only slowly coming back, with Landa/Hellstrom of all things, instead of the pairing I have to write for the fic exchange. But I know that I'll manage to write something for the fic exchange, too, I'm just not very motivated.

Your readers are less discerning than yourself and would be quite happy to have them quote obscure German literature to each other in bed.
I'm about to make you even happier ... last night I had the idea to put this whole literature-quoting-thing into chapter 3 of La Musica. Yes, about ten months after chapter two, I finally know what to write in chapter three. It -might- just get written.

even in a tank if Hellstrom somehow contrived to shut Landa in one for a moment's peace.
I wish I could write crack!fic. I have to imagine Landa in the tank, yelling helplessly and threatening to do horrible things to Hellstrom once he gets out, while Hellstrom sits on top of the tank, reading the newspaper, and smirking smugly.

The Australian ads for that show have a narrator with a disturbing tendency to pronounce "Lightmann" as "Eichmann."
I think he'd disapprove of one of Lightman's employees ... named Eli ... ;) Now I'm trying to figure out how someone could possibly pronounce "Lightman" as "Eichmann". WTF.

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

Would you mind if I stole your teenage-Landa-in-boarding-school idea? In my hetfic he has flasbacks to when he messed around with boys when he was one, so I would so love to write this.

And OMIGOD. Please, please, please will you write the epic Austrian vs. Prussian bitching contest!!!!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Go ahead. ^^ Landa messing around with boys in his boarding school is too beautiful to be anyone's intellectual property. ;)

Well, either the bitching fits in some other fic I'm going to write, or I might have to write the scene in a Viennese café, with Hellstrom being a Prussian, stuck-up bitch, refusing to use Austrian vocabulary, and Landa being all ashamed and giving the waiter apologetic smiles. Problem? I can't write funny fics for my life.

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :-)

A little ficlet of an argument in a Viennese café would work just fine. After all, you did write "Rest" which consisted pretty much of Landa's musings before, during and after he shampoos his precious Dieterchen's hair. And that worked beautifully.

Not to mention "Reckless", your wonderful "plotless strangulation kink" (as you dubbed it) ficlet. A plot is simply a beginning, a middle and an end, and both these ficlets had that. :-D

Forgive the nudging, but I just love your Landa/Hellstrom slash, and if there's anything I can do to encourage you to write more, I'll do it!

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

"Mark with a porn 'stache" warrants more than a WTF - a WTFF (What the Fuckity Fuck) is much more appropriate. Please see my WTF Legend for additional information: http://deborahkla.livejournal.com/21811.html

Now what on earth is a "pseudo-het" fic, and if you've written one, where can I read it? Now I know you hate het-fic. but what about purely porny, non-Mary-Sue BDSM hetfic between an SS man and a prisoner? Because that's what I'm working on now, based on a couple of characters in my het fic. My hetfic public demanded that I write more about these two characters, so I did.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Hehe, yes. Although Mark made it on the very short list of "people who are sexy with/despite a 'stache". The first person on the list is Jude Law, because he is ONLY sexy with a 'stache.

You've read my pseudo-het fic. The one where Blackwood gets some pretty woman to reward Coward, and Coward is all like, "*poke* What do I do with this?" until Blackwood finally stops being stupid and realises what Coward wants. It's not a hetfic, but since there technically is a woman getting kissed by a man ... I'd say pseudo-het.
Sorry, I don't want to read that either. Het includes women. Women turn me off. Porn with women downright disgusts me. It's not the bad characterisation or the Mary Sues that bother me in hetfic (there's bad characterisation in slash fic too), but simply the fact that I find het porn about the most unsexy thing in the world. Okay, right after femslash.

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

I agree with you about Jude Law. But his must always be a porn 'stache.

Oh, yes, I remember that fic. My dear, that hardly qualifies as even "pseudo" het-fic since the female is made so obviously an object of utter distaste for both men.

I find femslash completely unsexy. It just has no appeal to me at all, even though I've slept with women. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I just outright dislike or have absolutely no respect for most women in general because they annoy me to no end. Working with women is far worse than working with men, because they can be so petty and so needlessly competitive, and I hate getting pulled into the stupid games they play. I therefore tend to choose my women friends rather carefully, both offline and online!