rant

Nov. 13th, 2011 06:18 pm
[personal profile] linndechir
I need to vent a bit. If you don't want to read an angry, long rant, ignore this post, it has nothing else in it. As most of you know, I've run a fic and art exchange on [livejournal.com profile] got_exchange over the past couple of weeks. It's almost over, and mostly it went incredibly well. With the exception of the two people who dropped out ... Now in itself there's nothing wrong with dropping out of an exchange - real life can happen, accidents, sickness, family problems, work, school, unpredictable shit that means that you just can't spend time on fandom. That's perfectly understandable. But the least you can do, if that happens, is to write the mod an email to tell them what's going on, as soon as possible. It takes about one minute and no matter how incredibly busy you are, you can find one minute to write an email. Unless you're in a coma or something like that, there's pretty much no excuse for not even doing that.

But the two people who dropped out of this exchange took a special degree in being complete and utter dicks. Both of them reassured me until just before the deadline (in one case even until the very DAY of the deadline) that they were still participating and that they would send their fic to me in a few days. After that I didn't hear from them again. I contacted them via PM and email to ask what was going on and they just ignored me. For a week or so I assumed that maybe they were just sick, but no, still no reply after that. I was lucky enough to find two people who agreed to cover for these two assholes, but they only had very little time for it. And that in itself was lucky, it could just as easily have happened that nobody would agree to pinch hit in 10 days or so, and then two participants of the exchange wouldn't have received a gift, just because two people were being selfish assholes.

Now with one of them I can give them the benefit of the doubt - I haven't seen them anywhere online since, maybe they had an accident or whatever. I hope not, of course, but it is possible, so maybe I shouldn't call this person an asshole. But the other person has been very active in various LJ communities over the last weeks, I've seen her write comments and posts just about everywhere. So she obviously isn't horribly sick or whatever, but she has lots of free time and is online. But apparently she couldn't even be arsed to write me one damn email telling me that she dropped out for whatever reason AFTER REASSURING ME THAT SHE WAS STILL PARTICIPATING, which meant that I didn't go looking for a pinch hitter any earlier, because I assumed that she would send in her fic soon.

I'm not going to name anyone. If you're terribly curious about who these two people are, just look at the masterlist that will be posted in a few days - it's obviously the two people who received a gift, but wrote nothing themselves. Pretty hard to remain anonymous when you're a dick in an exchange. I'm seriously mad. I'm so fucking angry, and there's nothing I can really do about it. I know, I know, it's just fandom, just an exchange, it's no big deal and nobody cares. But it bothers me. If you sign up for something like that, you take on a responsibility. Not towards me as the mod, but towards another participant, who will put lots of effort in the gift they are making, who are looking forward to receiving a gift of their own, and who might just end up empty-handed. Or, if someone pinch hits, your selfishness means that another participant has to do twice as much work, just to cover for you, and in this case at an extremely short notice. Again, that's acceptable if someone has a really good reason to drop out and notifies the mod about it in time. But if you're obviously online, obviously have free time, make the mod believe that you will hand in your fic in time, and then just disappear without a word and don't even reply to emails asking what's going on? Then you're a stupid fucking piece of shit. Sorry for the language, but assholes like that don't deserve euphemisms. It's selfish, dickish, irresponsible, inconsiderate, and generally shows poor character. I really hope that I won't run across these two people again any time soon, because I doubt that I could be civil to them. Again, I can give one of them the benefit of the doubt, but the other one is obviously just a stupid, selfish bitch. And that is me being euphemistic, because I could add a stream of less nice insults to that.

It's rather difficult to make me truly angry. Not just annoyed and irritated, but angry to the point where I'd lose my temper IRL. But this kind of thing makes me mad. And again, I know it's only fandom and it shouldn't be a big deal, but that's not what this is about. This is about accepting a responsibility, an obligation, and then not just failing to fulfil this, but just disappearing without a word, without an apology, without an attempt to make up for it. Stuff like that just say a lot about what kind of a person you're dealing with.

/rant

Date: 2011-11-13 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lydzi.livejournal.com
Not cool, not cool at all. You put a lot of efforts to run this thing and you did it very smoothly. And everyone did a pretty good job (I'm still high on the fanart [livejournal.com profile] nymeri did for my prompt kjhfkusdgkjfhfdlk too good). I know at least one the names because I was actually waiting for it in a way because we have some characters love in common. Which makes me quite surprised :/.

Ah well #shrugs#. All in all it's a great success. I need to go back and read some fics yet. I intend to comment on everything even if some of the fics don't have a prompt who swepts me away :p. Who knows, I might get surprised XD.

Date: 2011-11-13 06:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
Nymeri's fanart was amazing. When it was sent in I was all like, "OMFG THIS IS EPIC AND LYDZI IS GOING TO ADORE IT!" I'm glad I wasn't wrong. And thank you for the compliments on how I ran things, I'm glad it was okay.
I know, one of the two people who dropped out was your giftee - I'm sad that they didn't even comment on your fic, they could at least have done that. :(

I read most things, except pairings I really really don't like (Jaime/Brienne, Rhaegar/Lyanna, stuff like that), and tried to commeent everywhere. and I approve of you being such an active comment writer, yay! I wish more people would do that.

Date: 2011-11-13 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lydzi.livejournal.com
You should try the Rhaegar/Lyanna it was surprisingly very very good and quite... it wasn't sappy at all. Most of the fics I was ready to be a bit "meh" about it during this exchange ended up being a great surprise that's why I'm even willing to try in the end the very feared Jon/Robb ^^. Some people I've never been seeing doing fics and such and how good they are really? awesome!!

You've done this like it was protocol phantom tbh. Everything was smooth, quick and perfect. And SERIOUSLY THE BIRTHDAY! Didn't I told you Happy Birthday? Good thing [livejournal.com profile] outboxed said it ugh. Happy birthday very very very late and plenty of good things and still good cake XD.

Date: 2011-11-13 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
I've heard that the Rhaegar/Lyanna fic is really good, but I despise that pairing passionately. I really, really hate it. So I'm willing to believe that the fic is great, but I doubt I could enjoy it because every fibre of my being yells, "but it's Rhaegar/Lyanna aand that pairing is horrible!" ;) But I did read many fics I wouldn't have read otherwise, like some Robb/Jon or Stark family fics. I need to recheck if I commented on everything.
I'd love to do the next exchange right away in January, but I don't know if people are as enthusiastic as I am. ;)

Heh, thank you. :D Tbh, I'm an organisation monster. I love organising stuff. And making lists. And things like that. It makes me happy. And I get all angsty when something doesn't work. ;)

THANK YOU! :D I was such a monster and didn't reply to the birthday messages I got because I had a friend visiting me for that whole week. ;) But, still, thank you even for the late wishes. The cake was awesome. ;)

Date: 2011-11-13 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] outboxed.livejournal.com
I can definitely see why you're annoyed. I know that fandom shouldn't be a ~responsibility or whatever but sending an email to say that you can't manage something is no big deal, if you do it, and potentially a massive deal, if you don't. Ugh. I'm happy to attempt a pinch hit tonight if you need one.

Also, I realise that I missed your birthday. Any requests for (super late) birthday fic? (:

Date: 2011-11-13 06:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
Of course fandom in general is not a responsibility, but just fun. But by its very nature an exchange implies some sort of responsibility, even if it's only the responsibility to say as early as possible, "I'm sorry, I can't do it." I'm mostly angry that these two people actually told me shortly before the deadline that they were working on it.

Thanks for the offer, but I fortunately found two pinch hitters. One of them has already finished the fic (so I have something to post for tomorrow), the other one will hopefully be done in time for the Tuesday fic. I hope. oO But again, thank you. :)

No problem, I always forget birthdays because I read the LJ notification two days before and then I forget about it. Well, if you WANT to write something for me, that'd be awesome, of course. You know what I want, anything Stannis/Jon would make me happy. Especially if it's the Kingsguard verse. You wrote that amazing little ficlet a while ago about Jon waking Stannis - maybe something like that? Except that this time he stays? Or Jon is there in the evening when Stannis is about to go to bed?

Date: 2011-11-13 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nursedarry.livejournal.com
OMG! THIS!! I think this happens in every fandom and it still amazes me that people who do this can actually GET BY in RL without being beat up, because you KNOW they're doing this there too.

In HP we have a mods comm where this comes up after every fest, and we share names so at least we know who to watch out for.

As someone who writes mostly only for fests and mods them too, I know how hard this is and how a couple of people can completely take the fun out of what seemed to be a mostly hassel-free experience, if all was going well before that. Many mods now ask for evidence of work whenever anyone asks for an extension or strings them along.

I therefore give you a big martini and a very late birthday hug (saw that in another comment). Feel free to rant whenever you want. We can empathise x 1000000.

Date: 2011-11-13 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
Maybe some people are just assholes online because it feels less "real" to them, but I have the general suspicion that people who behave like shit online also behave like shit IRL.

Unfortunately I don't know the mod of the other big exchange in this fandom, and I don't want to go and rat out somebody to a complete stranger. It would just feel weird, "hi, you don't know me, but one of the participants in your exchange is an unreliable bitch" - that just sounds like I'm on a personal vendetta or something. I'm just a bit worried because one of these two people (the one who is very obviously a bitch) has also signed up for the other exchange. I hope she won't pull the same shit over there.

This was the first time I ran such an exchange, and maybe I was a tad too naive. But everyone seemed generally really nice, the bitch (to avoid naming her here) actually sounded incredibly enthusiastic about the exchange, and most people who told me on the day of the deadline that they needed one or two days more DID send in their fic a day later. I suppose I was just naive and assumed that everyone was like that. Maybe I should ask for some evidence of work during the next exchange, it sounds like a good idea.

Thank you. :D I've been seething angrily over this for the past couple of weeks, and I just needed to get it out now.

Date: 2011-11-13 07:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
And I still think you should make a shame post. Abschreckungsmaßnahme.
Say THAt in English...

Date: 2011-11-13 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
I don't know, I don't want to bring the general mood down with a bitchy post. Anyone who really wants to know who these two people are can easily found out by having a look at the masterlist in a few days. A big shame post wouldn't accomplish anything. People like that don't change. If they had any sense of shame, they wouldn't have done this in the first place.

Date: 2011-11-13 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
You can also remind everyone to comment in the same post...
And it would serve as a warning to people next time...
I still can't believe I managed to finish my fic and it's actually pretty good Oo

Date: 2011-11-13 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
There will be a general feedback post at the end of the exchange, which will also include me bitching about the lack of comments, and me bitching about the fucks who dropped out. That has to do. There's nothing else I can really do that would actually have any use. Useless cunting around just makes me even angrier.
I had to kick your ass enough to get you to write that thing. -.- I feel like I aged ten years. :P Seriously, if you participate next time? IDGAF, you hand your fic in on the deadline, just like everyone else. Keine Extrawurst.

And since this is my own LJ and I can spam it as much as I want ...
STANNIS STANNIS STANNIS STANNIS STANNIS STANNIS STANNIS!!!!
and ... TORETH TORETH TORETH TORETH TORETH TORETH TOREEEEETH!!!!

Back to watching Oz now. :D

Date: 2011-11-13 09:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
Oh, you aged ten years? Believe me, if I participate next time, I'll wanna hand it in at the deadline myself.
It all depends when the next exchange is. My February... AND MARCH OH GOD >_<
Season one finished, of Oz. Better go sleep now. Sure I can...
HI TORETH

Date: 2011-11-13 09:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
Not a matter of wanting. You WILL. :P
If it's up to me, the next exchange is asap in January/February, but I don't know yet if that will work. We'll see in a few days.

When I finished season one I was like, "but Keller comes in season 2! Need to start watching ... damn, he only arrives in episode 4 ... need to keep watching ... THERE HE IS OMFG HE AND BEECHER NEEDTO SEE ALL OF THIS SBFLWBFWPEIFBWSEIB" i.e. yeah, you probably better go to bed. ;)

HAI TORETH.

Date: 2011-11-13 09:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
Hi Toreth is like our secret handshake, pssst!
I recognise your Stannis voice from four letters. That's just sick, man.
I MAKE NO PROMISES.
Srsly, I could probably watch another 2 eps, but I really do need some sleep, considering I've been awake since Saturday noon Oo

Date: 2011-11-13 09:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
You started. ;D
My Stannis voice is epic and it's all over the place. Anyway, it's just the "you WILL (kneel, Jon Snow)".
Nobody will force you to participate, but if you do, no special privileges here. :P

Got my text? Matching tattoos... Yep, you probably should sleep. Oz is addictive.

Date: 2011-11-13 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
NO YOU STARTED IT
Jon: *swoons*

I can always bribe you. Isch weiß wo deine Mudda wohnt Alda ey.
NIGHT.

Date: 2011-11-13 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
Of course Jon is swooning. Oh hai Stannis.

Won't work next time. :P
Can't believe you're ignoring potential brothercest. What's WRONG with you? ^^

Date: 2011-11-14 05:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
I'm not there yet -.-

Date: 2011-11-14 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ars-belli.livejournal.com
I intended to make a comment saying that fandom is a responsibility,
in the sense that everyone has to be civil and co-operate in order
to keep the fandom fun, instead of being dicks who spoil it for
other people (especially on exchanges), but it doesn't (or
shouldn't) feel like one because having good manners on the internet
should be common sense.
BUT THEN...
You distracted me with an amazing icon, which I would very much like to steal. (Why is there a capital on "Dich" BTW?)
AND THEN...
You distracted me with a shiny new word to extend my German vocabulary!
I'm not even going to translate Abschreckungsmaßahme, I'll just
bow to the superiority of the German language. I envy the single words in German that we need an entire subordinate clause to translate, I just adore the concision of the language.
< / geekery>

Date: 2011-11-14 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
I agree with the whole responsibility&common sense thing. It's not like anyone forces people to sign up on exchanges, but if they do, then keeping up one's part is the least one can do.

Can't tell you if you're aloud to steal her icon. ;) The "Dich" capital ... that's a bit complicated ... you probably know that the polite address ("Sie", "Ihr" etc.) is usually written with a capital ("Wie geht es Ihnen?" etc.). The same used to be true for the informal address ("Du", "Dich" etc.), but that was usually only done in letters and such, not when you were writing down normal speech - so in a letter you'd write "Wie geht es Dir?", but if you write down a piece of dialogue and someone says "Wo bist du?", you wouldn't use a capital d (and it's not really done anymore at all). So putting the "Dich" capital here is actually fairly random and unusual (and definitely a bit old-fashioned, so maybe that's why she did it).

And yay for pretty German words! Abschreckungsmaßnahme is awesome. ^^

Date: 2011-11-14 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
LOL thanks,
I made it myself, so feel free to use it. I don't even care if it gets credited.
Err, perhaps I shouldn't use my Nazi icons in unsuspecting fantasy fandoms... Ah well, too late. (And Schellchen knows the hands in your icon... intimately.)
English has some nifty words, too, though.
*points to rant below* Yep, back in the 40s, they would still capitalise Dich in letters. I did it on the icon mostly for visual reasons though. ^^; shallow, sorry...
Have we run into each other before? Basterds fandom, perchance?

Date: 2011-11-16 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ars-belli.livejournal.com
Unsuspecting fandoms are made so much prettier by the inclusion of Schellenberg! Heydrich too, but he's more widely known, so I use the hands rather than a portrait to avoid complaints.

English does have interesting words, but they're mostly stolen from other languages (even if they are "dead" in some sense). German has an appealingly engineering-like approach: glue together existing words to make new ones.

I've seen the capitalized Du and Dich on the internet, so I assumed it was a new trend for people who were too lazy to use the polite forms. The actual explanation is much more interesting. Visual reasons are fie by me as an excuse. :)

I was in the Basterds fandom before it went dormant or died or whatever, but we're more likely to have seen each other's comments in RL-Nazi fandoms like Reich Writing and Nazifetisch. I occasionally join in the squeeing over 17 Moments of Spring too.

[I hope this isn't TMI for the unsuspecting fantasy readers. Not that they're going to take much notice of a tangent.]

Date: 2011-11-16 01:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
Schellchen, Schellchen. He was a rather persistent muse a while back, and then made me write something that freaked the shit out of me (it involved Heydrich), and I all but dropped out of the fandom. Still haven't found the guts to put it on [livejournal.com profile] reich_writing. Speaking of which... - you're running it now? Whatever happened to [livejournal.com profile] machiavelli_imp? Cool that someone took over, anyway. It's a good niche comm. It should stay. One of these days I'll get around to finishing my 17 Moments fic.
Stierlitz is like the Russian Batman and Superman combined, with more than a dash of Captain America. In Soviet terms. He's EPIC.
(Well, we're on a journal, not a comm, and [livejournal.com profile] linndechir doesn't mind random Nazis popping up there...
That came out wrong LOL XD

PS:

Date: 2011-11-16 01:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] assassin-nariel.livejournal.com
That and I actually failed to fill something in an exchange.... to get back on topic. *hides* So, yeah. Fuck. I'm proud to have managed this time, though.

Date: 2011-11-29 02:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ars-belli.livejournal.com
Wow, it took me a while to reply to this...

Doesn't anything involving Heydrich automatically freak people out? Schellenberg was certainly in awe of him, but I'm sure he feared Heydrich as well. If you ever work up the courage to share what you've written, you're more than welcome to post it on [livejournal.com profile] reich_writing. (I'm [livejournal.com profile] machiavelli_imp but I had to change LJ aliases due to people in RL being annoying and rude on my journal. Long story.)

More "17 Moments" fic sounds great. Stierlitz is a lot more interesting than Superman (and I'm laughing my head off at the comparison to American superheroes!) and I adore his brooding. "[info]linndechir doesn't mind random Nazis popping up there..." LOL, oh dear, that really did come out wrong. Hysterically.

Date: 2011-11-13 08:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sternflammenden.livejournal.com
Wow, that is really trashy behavior on their part! I would be tempted to warn the other asoiaf exchange mod, but I guess we'll have to see what happens there. It's unfortunate that people pull this kind of thing.

Date: 2011-11-13 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
I would warn the other mod if I knew them, but it'd feel somewhat strange to go to a complete stranger and warn them about someone, it looks too much like I'm just causing wank about someone I don't like. :/ But on the other hand, maybe I should so this person doesn't do the same thing over there. I really don't know what to do.

Date: 2011-11-13 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
Apparently she already participated in the other asoiaf exchange before, and if she gets to participate again, then I suppose she didn't fuck up there last time. So apparently it was more a one-time fuck-up. I'll just have to swallow my anger, I suppose.

Date: 2011-11-14 12:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sternflammenden.livejournal.com
Ugh. Part of me hopes that she fucks up with the other exchange but then again, I don't want two people to potentially be screwed out of their gifts. People like this make me sick! I felt guilty because I wasn't done for the deadline. :/

By the way, I would be so down for another winter exchange (reading the comments around this). These things are making me stretch and write different characters, and that's fun.

Date: 2011-11-14 12:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
You really have nothing to feel guilty about. You handed your fic in, what, two days late? And you talked to me about it rather than leaving me hanging in the air wondering what is going on.

I'd love to organise the next exchange asap. I'd even be okay with starting the sign-ups right away in December so people have the holiday season to write. But we'll see in the poll some time this week if enough people want to do that. As I said before, I think I'd have trouble assigning prompts if we have only 5 participants. But it would be great to do this soon, I had so much not just reading the fics that were written, but also organising this entire thing. I like organising things. ^^

Date: 2011-11-14 12:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sternflammenden.livejournal.com
Eh, you're right. I just have a complex. :)

I think that it went really well! Very organized. I need to go back and finish reading all of the fics when I have more time. I went away for the weekend, and was pleasantly surprised to have wi-fi on the train, so I spent most of my trip home reading this community!

Date: 2011-11-14 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
I understand completely. I have a horrible reliability complex. I feel bad and guilty when I meet with a friend and I arrive five minutes late. I'll spend the next half hour apologising for being late and keeping them waiting.

Wi-fi on the train is awesome. ^^ And I agree, it did go very well, I was surprised myself. Well, my update schedule was a bit random at times, but since I updated at a time that was in the middle of the night for most people nobody really cared, I think. That's why I really hope that we won't have to wait til spring for the next round.

Date: 2011-11-13 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anneka-neko.livejournal.com
Ahhh, that's terrible!

I remember on the... I believe it was the second B/C fic exchange? The person I wrote for just disappeared. So like, I spent all that time worried about how I have no idea who this new person is, what do they like, why is their prompt complicated and hard to figure out, what do I do... and then they never even commented, and as far as I know they may have never even read it. Which just. How do you even?

And sure, there may have been a reasonable explanation, but it feels way better to assume they're a jerk.

Date: 2011-11-13 11:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
Yep. The two people who dropped out also didn't reply to the fics that were written for them, and I'm fairly sure that both authors really thought a lot about their fics. It's just such a dickish thing to do. And then I feel awful for asking people to pinch hit and tell them, "oh, and you only have 10 days to finish your fic." I'm so grateful there are a few people who were so nice to pinch hit, it almost makes up for these jerks.

With the person who really just disappeared, there may be a reasonable explanation. But the other person whom I've seen posting in communities (even in comms of the very same fandom as the exchange) ... yeah, there is no other explanation than her being a shitty person.

Date: 2011-11-13 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anneka-neko.livejournal.com
See I do understand that sometimes you think you can handle writing something, but then it turns out to be too much, and you want to go hide from it, but you should at least admit it once it comes down to the line, you know?

If you see them around again if you run another exchange, you should definitely have a few words with them. Do that thing teachers do where if they want to participate, they need to give you five pages on why they missed out. xD

Date: 2011-11-13 11:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
I understand people dropping out, either because of real life or because they really don't know what to do with their prompts. But you don't realise that on the day of the deadline, but earlier on, and the least you can do is tell the mod about it, rather than just disappear. So I'm not really forgiving here.

Tbh, if they try to sign up for the next round of the exchange, I'll tell them they can't participate. If they pull something like that, I have no reason to believe they won't do it again, so no thanks.

Date: 2011-11-13 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anneka-neko.livejournal.com
See I'd want to torment them a little bit, but the mature thing would be to just say they can't participate, so you should probably go with that. xD

Date: 2011-11-13 11:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
Oh, if I could, I'd torment them in many different ways and try to get other people to torment them as well. They deserve to get some shit from many different people. ;) But instead I'll just be boring and mature and ignore them.

Date: 2011-11-14 01:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] unsettledink.livejournal.com
I'm ... going to be a slightly dissenting voice here, I'm afraid.

I mean, yes, it really sucks and was really rude of them to not let you know they were dropping out, and it sounds like in the case of the one it's probably just being rude, but -

That's totally me. I've done that. I've done it a couple times, actually, although there's only once I haven't let someone know I couldn't after all (though it was always at the last second - I kept thinking that somehow I would be able to do it. Delusional, obviously.). And that once? Was for a big bang where I had an artist who's work wasn't going to make any sense without my fic. I had plenty of time to let them know it was dead in the water. I could have even told them last minute, that would have been better. But I didn't.

Was it just because I was a total dick that couldn't care less about the strain that ends up putting on the people who run the thing, and the disappointment of the people expecting it? I didn't have some real life drama or health issue or accident happen. I just froze. I froze, and all my anxiety problems reared their heads and said, run the fuck away. Maybe if you don't say anything, they won't notice. (Uh, duh, they will!) And if you say something, they're going to hate you for FAILING. And btw you failed you giant big faily failer, why don't you just go and sit in a corner and cry, loserface. It sounds totally melodramatic, and of course it's ridiculous, but anxiety doesn't make sense.

And I felt awful about it. I *still* feel awful about it even though it's been nearly a year. I wanted to post other things and talk to people on my flist, but I was scared that the person in charge would see that and think I was just flipping them off.

It would have been the easiest thing in the world to just fire off an email, 'hey I'm sorry I can't complete this' - except to me, it wasn't anywhere near the easiest thing.

So while I really do understand and sympathize with the frustration and anger from having someone just drop out without a word and leave you with more stress and more work, I also sympathize with people who do just that. No, of course not all of them do it for the same sorts of reasons I did - some people are just assholes. Maybe both of yours are! But it's kind of scary for me to realize that all of those overblown fears of what people would think of me for screwing up ... someone out there does think like that, and that means other people out there do too.

/o\

Date: 2011-11-14 01:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] linndechir.livejournal.com
I do see your point (and I really appreciate that you took the time to write such a long reply). Maybe that's what happened in the case of the person I really haven't seen since. But I doubt that someone who happily posts in communities of this fandom and who apparently, unlike you, wasn't worried at all about me or other participants seeing her there, was torn up or had anxiety problems and wanted to hide. She just didn't seem to care.

And I really tried my best to handle this in a friendly way. I didn't start bitching at these people. I wrote a very polite, friendly, understanding email to them, asking what was going on, even saying very politely (this is after the deadline) that I understand if they can't finish their fic, and that all I want is that they just drop me a note so I KNOW they're out and can look for a pinch hitter. I didn't bitch or whine or yell, I tried to be polite and understanding. They didn't even have to contact me on their own, they could have just replied to the email they got from me. And I really don't think that's too much to ask.

Again, I see your point, and in one of the two cases that really might have been what happened. But in the second case I'm fairly sure that she's just a selfish bitch.

Profile

linndechir

September 2025

S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
141516 17181920
21222324252627
282930    

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jan. 21st, 2026 03:15 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios