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linndechirI need to vent a bit. If you don't want to read an angry, long rant, ignore this post, it has nothing else in it. As most of you know, I've run a fic and art exchange on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
got_exchange over the past couple of weeks. It's almost over, and mostly it went incredibly well. With the exception of the two people who dropped out ... Now in itself there's nothing wrong with dropping out of an exchange - real life can happen, accidents, sickness, family problems, work, school, unpredictable shit that means that you just can't spend time on fandom. That's perfectly understandable. But the least you can do, if that happens, is to write the mod an email to tell them what's going on, as soon as possible. It takes about one minute and no matter how incredibly busy you are, you can find one minute to write an email. Unless you're in a coma or something like that, there's pretty much no excuse for not even doing that.
But the two people who dropped out of this exchange took a special degree in being complete and utter dicks. Both of them reassured me until just before the deadline (in one case even until the very DAY of the deadline) that they were still participating and that they would send their fic to me in a few days. After that I didn't hear from them again. I contacted them via PM and email to ask what was going on and they just ignored me. For a week or so I assumed that maybe they were just sick, but no, still no reply after that. I was lucky enough to find two people who agreed to cover for these two assholes, but they only had very little time for it. And that in itself was lucky, it could just as easily have happened that nobody would agree to pinch hit in 10 days or so, and then two participants of the exchange wouldn't have received a gift, just because two people were being selfish assholes.
Now with one of them I can give them the benefit of the doubt - I haven't seen them anywhere online since, maybe they had an accident or whatever. I hope not, of course, but it is possible, so maybe I shouldn't call this person an asshole. But the other person has been very active in various LJ communities over the last weeks, I've seen her write comments and posts just about everywhere. So she obviously isn't horribly sick or whatever, but she has lots of free time and is online. But apparently she couldn't even be arsed to write me one damn email telling me that she dropped out for whatever reason AFTER REASSURING ME THAT SHE WAS STILL PARTICIPATING, which meant that I didn't go looking for a pinch hitter any earlier, because I assumed that she would send in her fic soon.
I'm not going to name anyone. If you're terribly curious about who these two people are, just look at the masterlist that will be posted in a few days - it's obviously the two people who received a gift, but wrote nothing themselves. Pretty hard to remain anonymous when you're a dick in an exchange. I'm seriously mad. I'm so fucking angry, and there's nothing I can really do about it. I know, I know, it's just fandom, just an exchange, it's no big deal and nobody cares. But it bothers me. If you sign up for something like that, you take on a responsibility. Not towards me as the mod, but towards another participant, who will put lots of effort in the gift they are making, who are looking forward to receiving a gift of their own, and who might just end up empty-handed. Or, if someone pinch hits, your selfishness means that another participant has to do twice as much work, just to cover for you, and in this case at an extremely short notice. Again, that's acceptable if someone has a really good reason to drop out and notifies the mod about it in time. But if you're obviously online, obviously have free time, make the mod believe that you will hand in your fic in time, and then just disappear without a word and don't even reply to emails asking what's going on? Then you're a stupid fucking piece of shit. Sorry for the language, but assholes like that don't deserve euphemisms. It's selfish, dickish, irresponsible, inconsiderate, and generally shows poor character. I really hope that I won't run across these two people again any time soon, because I doubt that I could be civil to them. Again, I can give one of them the benefit of the doubt, but the other one is obviously just a stupid, selfish bitch. And that is me being euphemistic, because I could add a stream of less nice insults to that.
It's rather difficult to make me truly angry. Not just annoyed and irritated, but angry to the point where I'd lose my temper IRL. But this kind of thing makes me mad. And again, I know it's only fandom and it shouldn't be a big deal, but that's not what this is about. This is about accepting a responsibility, an obligation, and then not just failing to fulfil this, but just disappearing without a word, without an apology, without an attempt to make up for it. Stuff like that just say a lot about what kind of a person you're dealing with.
/rant
got_exchange over the past couple of weeks. It's almost over, and mostly it went incredibly well. With the exception of the two people who dropped out ... Now in itself there's nothing wrong with dropping out of an exchange - real life can happen, accidents, sickness, family problems, work, school, unpredictable shit that means that you just can't spend time on fandom. That's perfectly understandable. But the least you can do, if that happens, is to write the mod an email to tell them what's going on, as soon as possible. It takes about one minute and no matter how incredibly busy you are, you can find one minute to write an email. Unless you're in a coma or something like that, there's pretty much no excuse for not even doing that.But the two people who dropped out of this exchange took a special degree in being complete and utter dicks. Both of them reassured me until just before the deadline (in one case even until the very DAY of the deadline) that they were still participating and that they would send their fic to me in a few days. After that I didn't hear from them again. I contacted them via PM and email to ask what was going on and they just ignored me. For a week or so I assumed that maybe they were just sick, but no, still no reply after that. I was lucky enough to find two people who agreed to cover for these two assholes, but they only had very little time for it. And that in itself was lucky, it could just as easily have happened that nobody would agree to pinch hit in 10 days or so, and then two participants of the exchange wouldn't have received a gift, just because two people were being selfish assholes.
Now with one of them I can give them the benefit of the doubt - I haven't seen them anywhere online since, maybe they had an accident or whatever. I hope not, of course, but it is possible, so maybe I shouldn't call this person an asshole. But the other person has been very active in various LJ communities over the last weeks, I've seen her write comments and posts just about everywhere. So she obviously isn't horribly sick or whatever, but she has lots of free time and is online. But apparently she couldn't even be arsed to write me one damn email telling me that she dropped out for whatever reason AFTER REASSURING ME THAT SHE WAS STILL PARTICIPATING, which meant that I didn't go looking for a pinch hitter any earlier, because I assumed that she would send in her fic soon.
I'm not going to name anyone. If you're terribly curious about who these two people are, just look at the masterlist that will be posted in a few days - it's obviously the two people who received a gift, but wrote nothing themselves. Pretty hard to remain anonymous when you're a dick in an exchange. I'm seriously mad. I'm so fucking angry, and there's nothing I can really do about it. I know, I know, it's just fandom, just an exchange, it's no big deal and nobody cares. But it bothers me. If you sign up for something like that, you take on a responsibility. Not towards me as the mod, but towards another participant, who will put lots of effort in the gift they are making, who are looking forward to receiving a gift of their own, and who might just end up empty-handed. Or, if someone pinch hits, your selfishness means that another participant has to do twice as much work, just to cover for you, and in this case at an extremely short notice. Again, that's acceptable if someone has a really good reason to drop out and notifies the mod about it in time. But if you're obviously online, obviously have free time, make the mod believe that you will hand in your fic in time, and then just disappear without a word and don't even reply to emails asking what's going on? Then you're a stupid fucking piece of shit. Sorry for the language, but assholes like that don't deserve euphemisms. It's selfish, dickish, irresponsible, inconsiderate, and generally shows poor character. I really hope that I won't run across these two people again any time soon, because I doubt that I could be civil to them. Again, I can give one of them the benefit of the doubt, but the other one is obviously just a stupid, selfish bitch. And that is me being euphemistic, because I could add a stream of less nice insults to that.
It's rather difficult to make me truly angry. Not just annoyed and irritated, but angry to the point where I'd lose my temper IRL. But this kind of thing makes me mad. And again, I know it's only fandom and it shouldn't be a big deal, but that's not what this is about. This is about accepting a responsibility, an obligation, and then not just failing to fulfil this, but just disappearing without a word, without an apology, without an attempt to make up for it. Stuff like that just say a lot about what kind of a person you're dealing with.
/rant
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no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 01:50 am (UTC)I mean, yes, it really sucks and was really rude of them to not let you know they were dropping out, and it sounds like in the case of the one it's probably just being rude, but -
That's totally me. I've done that. I've done it a couple times, actually, although there's only once I haven't let someone know I couldn't after all (though it was always at the last second - I kept thinking that somehow I would be able to do it. Delusional, obviously.). And that once? Was for a big bang where I had an artist who's work wasn't going to make any sense without my fic. I had plenty of time to let them know it was dead in the water. I could have even told them last minute, that would have been better. But I didn't.
Was it just because I was a total dick that couldn't care less about the strain that ends up putting on the people who run the thing, and the disappointment of the people expecting it? I didn't have some real life drama or health issue or accident happen. I just froze. I froze, and all my anxiety problems reared their heads and said, run the fuck away. Maybe if you don't say anything, they won't notice. (Uh, duh, they will!) And if you say something, they're going to hate you for FAILING. And btw you failed you giant big faily failer, why don't you just go and sit in a corner and cry, loserface. It sounds totally melodramatic, and of course it's ridiculous, but anxiety doesn't make sense.
And I felt awful about it. I *still* feel awful about it even though it's been nearly a year. I wanted to post other things and talk to people on my flist, but I was scared that the person in charge would see that and think I was just flipping them off.
It would have been the easiest thing in the world to just fire off an email, 'hey I'm sorry I can't complete this' - except to me, it wasn't anywhere near the easiest thing.
So while I really do understand and sympathize with the frustration and anger from having someone just drop out without a word and leave you with more stress and more work, I also sympathize with people who do just that. No, of course not all of them do it for the same sorts of reasons I did - some people are just assholes. Maybe both of yours are! But it's kind of scary for me to realize that all of those overblown fears of what people would think of me for screwing up ... someone out there does think like that, and that means other people out there do too.
/o\
no subject
Date: 2011-11-14 01:58 am (UTC)And I really tried my best to handle this in a friendly way. I didn't start bitching at these people. I wrote a very polite, friendly, understanding email to them, asking what was going on, even saying very politely (this is after the deadline) that I understand if they can't finish their fic, and that all I want is that they just drop me a note so I KNOW they're out and can look for a pinch hitter. I didn't bitch or whine or yell, I tried to be polite and understanding. They didn't even have to contact me on their own, they could have just replied to the email they got from me. And I really don't think that's too much to ask.
Again, I see your point, and in one of the two cases that really might have been what happened. But in the second case I'm fairly sure that she's just a selfish bitch.