A pirate, a sociopath and a king walk into a bar ...

[linndechir]

I spent the entire day yesterday figuring out the assignments for the fic and art exchange on got_exchange. Why did I think this was a good idea again? No, to be fair, I really enjoy this whole mod business, it's fun. I just didn't expect 30 participants. Most assignments were really easy because many people like the same characters and pairings anyway, but in the end I was left with a handful of weirdos (including myself), who instead of shipping Jaime/Brienne and Robb/Jon like everyone else wanted fic about the Greyjoys, the Boltons and Stannis. I mentioned to outboxed that it sounds like the beginning of a really weird joke: "A pirate, a sociopath and a king walk into a bar ..." We couldn't find a punchline, though. The joke would probably end with everyone dead anyway.
But it's done now, everyone has their assignments. And so far I haven't had any angry "are you out of your mind, giving me these shit prompts?" mails yet.

Anyway, today, instead of focusing on the prompt I have to write like a good girl, I finally thought a bit about writing some Stannis/Sansa. Spreading the love for my insane pairings and all. But not only would I have to write het (which is, in itself, really hilarious because I usually don't like het and I've never written any in my life), but I realised that I would have to write het from the point of view of a 13-year-old virgin. JUST HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT??? Or rather, how am I supposed not to laugh hysterically when Sansa thinks about his "manhood"? Really? I mean, the scene is supposed to be utterly awkward and weird, but I still don't want to laugh madly while writing it. And I do want to write from Sansa's POV. Omniscient POV wouldn't work, I think, and Stannis' POV ... I'm afraid it would make him look a bit emo, tbh. That man has so many issues, especially when marrying a gorgeous young girl, I'd probably just end up with several pages of self-loathing.

I have no idea what to do about this. Manhood. Who even invented that word? It's so ridiculous.

Comments

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

I'm so weirded out by myself. ASOIAF makes me ship het, I don't get it. I suppose it's because of the general setting: I want Stannis as king, King Stannis will need a son, he needs a woman to get that son ... so inevitably there will be het. For me it's more about the character interaction than about the porn, because the porn will just be hilarious.

I don't know if I should be glad that Sansa is so different from me or not. On the one hand, I can be sure that I don't write her as my self-insert (well, okay, there might be a bit of drooling at Stannis at later points ;) but she doesn't BEHAVE anything like me). But on the other hand, I'm just so weirded out by her. It makes the whole challenge of writing het even more challenging. I have to keep myself from laughing about her half the time. She'll ask him not to hurt her etc. Nah, but it's going to be fun in the end, I get to write Stannis being awkward, and that's always amusing.

[kyliesvillain.livejournal.com]

I'm so weirded out by myself.
Once again, I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. But sometimes a pairing just makes sense and you have to write it. Because nobody else will....

I'm really looking forward to reading your fic. There is not nearly enough Stannis. I'd read almost every pairing, provided that it is written well (and that's something I'm not worried about with you).

What are your reactions about Stephen Dillane being cast as Stannis? Never heard that name before (http://www.theatermania.com/news/images/27329a.jpg). And I just read they cast Carice Van Houten as Melisandre, oh no, I LOVE her, if this is true then I will surely start loving Melsisandre as well...damn.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Nobody else would ever write this indeed. I mean, it's ASOIAF, this fandom ships everyone with everyone, but whenever I mention Stannis/Sansa they're just like, "I've never even heard of that pairing, wtf?"

Thanks a lot. You're flattering me again, my ego might take down LJ.

No actress in the world could make me like Melisandre. As for Stephen Dillane, I don't know, he seems to be a great actor, from what I've heard. I knew that my dream cast (Mark Strong) would never happen, so I'm not upset about anything. I'll just wait until we actually see him as Stannis and reserve judgement until then. Same goes for Liam Cunningham, who's a great actor, but looks nothing like what I imagined for Davos. But I'm curious, and I hope they'll be as great as most of the cast.