A pirate, a sociopath and a king walk into a bar ...

[linndechir]

I spent the entire day yesterday figuring out the assignments for the fic and art exchange on got_exchange. Why did I think this was a good idea again? No, to be fair, I really enjoy this whole mod business, it's fun. I just didn't expect 30 participants. Most assignments were really easy because many people like the same characters and pairings anyway, but in the end I was left with a handful of weirdos (including myself), who instead of shipping Jaime/Brienne and Robb/Jon like everyone else wanted fic about the Greyjoys, the Boltons and Stannis. I mentioned to outboxed that it sounds like the beginning of a really weird joke: "A pirate, a sociopath and a king walk into a bar ..." We couldn't find a punchline, though. The joke would probably end with everyone dead anyway.
But it's done now, everyone has their assignments. And so far I haven't had any angry "are you out of your mind, giving me these shit prompts?" mails yet.

Anyway, today, instead of focusing on the prompt I have to write like a good girl, I finally thought a bit about writing some Stannis/Sansa. Spreading the love for my insane pairings and all. But not only would I have to write het (which is, in itself, really hilarious because I usually don't like het and I've never written any in my life), but I realised that I would have to write het from the point of view of a 13-year-old virgin. JUST HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT??? Or rather, how am I supposed not to laugh hysterically when Sansa thinks about his "manhood"? Really? I mean, the scene is supposed to be utterly awkward and weird, but I still don't want to laugh madly while writing it. And I do want to write from Sansa's POV. Omniscient POV wouldn't work, I think, and Stannis' POV ... I'm afraid it would make him look a bit emo, tbh. That man has so many issues, especially when marrying a gorgeous young girl, I'd probably just end up with several pages of self-loathing.

I have no idea what to do about this. Manhood. Who even invented that word? It's so ridiculous.

Comments

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

There would be rainbows and puppies all around!

Wait a sec, is Ramsay a secret Targaryen as well?

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

Obviously! His mother was a secret Targaryen princess, but she was sane so she had to hide from Aerys. So Ramsay has both the blood of Valyria and of the First Men, getting the best of both sides. Indeed the true king that Westeros needs, and Dany's dragons would rather turn on her than harm him!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

He could also marry Daenerys, of course, instead of Sansa. Or, wait, if he's a Targaryen, he can just marry both of them! :D

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

And have twice as many kids!! There's no way that could ever end badly, because Ramsay knows he must keep his wives in check, even though he loves them so much!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Yay, more little Ramsays! Of course Daenerys and Sansa would understand, because they know that a wonderful person like Ramsay deserves to be loved by two women, not just one.