A pirate, a sociopath and a king walk into a bar ...

[linndechir]

I spent the entire day yesterday figuring out the assignments for the fic and art exchange on got_exchange. Why did I think this was a good idea again? No, to be fair, I really enjoy this whole mod business, it's fun. I just didn't expect 30 participants. Most assignments were really easy because many people like the same characters and pairings anyway, but in the end I was left with a handful of weirdos (including myself), who instead of shipping Jaime/Brienne and Robb/Jon like everyone else wanted fic about the Greyjoys, the Boltons and Stannis. I mentioned to outboxed that it sounds like the beginning of a really weird joke: "A pirate, a sociopath and a king walk into a bar ..." We couldn't find a punchline, though. The joke would probably end with everyone dead anyway.
But it's done now, everyone has their assignments. And so far I haven't had any angry "are you out of your mind, giving me these shit prompts?" mails yet.

Anyway, today, instead of focusing on the prompt I have to write like a good girl, I finally thought a bit about writing some Stannis/Sansa. Spreading the love for my insane pairings and all. But not only would I have to write het (which is, in itself, really hilarious because I usually don't like het and I've never written any in my life), but I realised that I would have to write het from the point of view of a 13-year-old virgin. JUST HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT??? Or rather, how am I supposed not to laugh hysterically when Sansa thinks about his "manhood"? Really? I mean, the scene is supposed to be utterly awkward and weird, but I still don't want to laugh madly while writing it. And I do want to write from Sansa's POV. Omniscient POV wouldn't work, I think, and Stannis' POV ... I'm afraid it would make him look a bit emo, tbh. That man has so many issues, especially when marrying a gorgeous young girl, I'd probably just end up with several pages of self-loathing.

I have no idea what to do about this. Manhood. Who even invented that word? It's so ridiculous.

Comments

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

One of the prompts especially floats my boat. ;)

Wow, there's a lot more work than one first thinks behind these events. I'm sure it will end up great though. But there should be more Bolton fans, flaying and backstabing aside, they seem like such a cool House. They seriously call their home the Dreadfort, flaunt their flayed-man sigil, and yet the rest of the North hasn't killed them off yet. I would love some more details on their past conflicts with the Starks.

That pairing needs to be spread, it has o much potential...

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

I thought it might, and I very much approve of that boat. ^^

Yep, I'm just like, "why hasn't anyone extinguished this family already?" Ramsay is not all that interesting, imo, but I love Roose so much.

Maybe you should just draw a Tywin/Roose picture anyway, whether you get one as a gift or not. It IS epic.

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

Ramsay is a very flat character this far, but who knows, he might very well get a pov in TWOW and get a turn around à la Jaime. But seriously, Roose is such a cool character, and his ancestors must have been as good to have survived this far.

Maybe I will... Once I get some time to draw for myself again, that is.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Poor Ramsay is probably just misunderstood. Woah, I should say this in some discussion. People will hate me even more than that one time when I said that Renly's death was justified. ;)

Fandom stress. :(

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

Of course he is. I'm convinced there are good reasons behind all his actions, and I don't understand why everyone hates him. He's not had an easy life, you know, and he's had to live a poor life as a bastard, despite knowing he is a lord's son and destined for more. He also had the guts to give Theon what he deserved. The Starks were far too soft; a man like Ramsay is needed to set the North right. It makes me so sad that most of the fandom is to stupid and shallow to realise this. :(

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Exactly. I agree with you so much! And can anyone blame him for killing his brother? I mean, it was SO UNFAIR that Domeric got a better life just because he was Roose's trueborn son and not a bastard. And then Domeric DARED to try and befriend Ramsay, as if he could somehow make it okay that Ramsay had such a difficult childhood. Ramsay had every right to kill that entitled little brat. Why don't people understand this?

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Domeric clearly knew nothing of how the real world works, and Robb showed us how it goes when such a sheltered person gets to lead. Ramsay, on the other hand, has been forced to face the cold reality, and yet he can be merciful as well as just. After giving Theon the punishment he deserved, Ramsay gave him another chanse to serve loyally, and I hate Theon so much for simply throwing Ramsay's kindness back in his face!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Yes, Theon is lucky that he met with such a merciful man as Ramsay, and not with Stannis, who would have been so cruel and just chopped off his head. You know, I really hope that Ramsay will sit the Iron Throne in the end. I think he would make a great king. The difficult experiences he has made have clearly turned him into a smarter, more considerate person, and he would rule the realms with just the right mixture of sternness and compassion.

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

I cannot think of a better or happier ending. Then everyone would be sure to see and acknowledge Ramsay's true greatness and his reign would be long and prosperous. And there's no risk of him doing a Robert; Ramsay knows to chose his game well.

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

But he will probably marry again, and like his first wife that horrible woman will just refuse to eat anything and starve herself to death, thus breaking poor Ramsay's heart. :(

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

He deserves a wife who understands him, who truly loves him and knows to treat him gently, because deep within Ramsay is such a sweet person. That's why I ship him and Sansa. After all she's been through, she deserves to find happiness with such a wonderful man. They are meant for each other!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Did you read my mind? I was just about to say the same! Sansa would be PERFECT for him. Scratch my Stannis/Sansa idea, I'm going to write a sweet, romantic, fluffy loves tory about Ramsay and Sansa. I'm sure they're going to have so many wonderful children together.

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

Please, please do! It would be love at first sight, and they would heal each other's hurts, and then their loving care would heal the kingdoms, making it a wonderful place for their beautiful children to grow up in!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

There would be rainbows and puppies all around!

Wait a sec, is Ramsay a secret Targaryen as well?

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

Obviously! His mother was a secret Targaryen princess, but she was sane so she had to hide from Aerys. So Ramsay has both the blood of Valyria and of the First Men, getting the best of both sides. Indeed the true king that Westeros needs, and Dany's dragons would rather turn on her than harm him!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

He could also marry Daenerys, of course, instead of Sansa. Or, wait, if he's a Targaryen, he can just marry both of them! :D

[nymeri.livejournal.com]

And have twice as many kids!! There's no way that could ever end badly, because Ramsay knows he must keep his wives in check, even though he loves them so much!

[linndechir.livejournal.com]

Yay, more little Ramsays! Of course Daenerys and Sansa would understand, because they know that a wonderful person like Ramsay deserves to be loved by two women, not just one.